KarateK

I know its not all that intelligent but when I got that joke it just seriously tickled me!!

Now now girls we all know men work hard really - I mean they have to put the meat on the BBQ - v challenging am sure you are aware!!

The BBQ season After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion. Routine... 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: 4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine.... 5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: 7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine..... The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, and sauces and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: 10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!!!!!

A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry,your duck has passed away." The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!", she cried. £150 just to tell me my duck is dead? The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry but if you'd taken my word for it at the outset, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150

Hi Well done for your achievements so far x

Hi Lee Dont worry about sounding stupid - they wouldnt let me on here if that was the case!!

I have this discussion with a friend ALL the time. Not specifically about karate/kung fu but what style derives from what.

Correct. Your sensei would not pass you unless sure. They have years of experience and can see the potential and the commitment you show. I do believe that in some clubs it is easier to get to black than others. All depends on the overall standard pf the club and the students

Job well done x Congrats

6'5 ish. Not a pretty boy. Someone I can have a laugh with and will accept my little one unconditionally. Am not into looks per say - find really different looking people equally attractive. Its all in the mind for me.

I hardly ever think of our history as women. We take for granted what we have now, without regard for what women throughout the past 100 years or so went through to enable us to be allowed the chance to even study a MA.

Is it just me or does that guy look like the demon at the beginning of the film "Constantine"?

Lol - in the same way that I am extremely conscientious at work Sohan!!

Congrats x

Was nearly wetting myself last night!!! 3 eps back to back - how sad am I - stayed up till 1am to watch them Locke seems to becoming more desperate, Jack getting more robotic, Michael losing it, Sawyer looking mmmmmm, Walt looking V scarey!!! L O V E D I T

//Good idea.. Maybe it's medical related In which case don't too much until you know what the problem is - sounds rather obvious but you seriously don't want to make matters worse - especially long term.

Hmmm - not sure about that

Oh dear - this is me not getting any work done again, thanks!!!

Also as a newbie haven't had many indepth chats. I think ghenisch or ivette_green for the "Lost" chats For sense of humour similar to mine it would be either Sohan or Whitefeather.

Well rounded??? Sohan??? ahem

gheinisch I love you OO series 2 starts tonight on our tv. I don't think it spoils it knowing the basics of whats going to happen - its still going to be fab watching all the little bits you don't find out about on spoilers etc

Good luck, trust in yourself and you will be fine x

Howdie xx

Welcome to KF, nice to see some more UK ppl here xx

Welcome xx Ditto Jay - love CSI