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SBN Doug

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Everything posted by SBN Doug

  1. Maybe, but greetings just the same. Wwwoooooo!
  2. I keep forgetting to check in here for ALL the new guys. So, for any I missed, Welcome aboard!!!
  3. That's fine. I'll be waiting.
  4. ZR440, you'll notice if you travel to other schools, the emphasis on sparring differs slightly. There are some that train is a fashion similar to above. Others, which I prefer, allow you to use the techniques and takedowns you've learned. We just have to be VERY careful not to hurt each other.
  5. KSW first came over to the US (as many others did) in California. You've got lots of ggod schools out there. Look on the links page for the KSW homepage I put there. You can search for the nearest one to you if you're curious.
  6. >Real Signs! > >>IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. > >>IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs > >>IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken. > >>IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. > >>ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.) > >>OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain. >>QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. > >>NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. > >>IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness. > >>SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car > >>SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor. > >>NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. > >>MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. > >>ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work) > >>SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
  7. This may put me in bad standing with some of the gals, but I gotta help my team. NEW MATH > > > > > ROMANCE ARITHMETIC Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy > > > > > OFFICE MATHEMATICS Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime > > > > > SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. > > > > > GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS > > > > > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. > > > > > HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. > > > > > LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. > > > > > MEMORY Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. > > > > > APPEARANCE Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. > > > > > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she > does. > > > > > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > > > > COMPREHENSION There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman...before marriage and after marriage. > > > > > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED. > > > > > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs cackling, telling me, "you're next." They stopped doing this after I did the same thing to them at funerals.
  8. Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' terrible important ta tell ya." "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome,Tim. But where's my husband?" "That's what I'm here ta be tellin' ya, Brenda. There were an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me.." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry." Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?" "It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout And drowned." "Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" "Well, no Brenda... no. Fact is, he got out three times to pee." ==================================== Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady After his Sunday morning service, And she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father.." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, Put down that damn gun...'
  9. An Irishman who had a little too much to drink Is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight And folding his arms across his chest, "That a few intersections back, Your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. " For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
  10. A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
  11. O.k., maybe it didn't completely go out of style. However, I haven't seen any more annoying movies about ballet dancers getting in with break dancers and bringing them some sort of social acceptance. There seemed to be one of those every month in the mid '80s.
  12. I'm a firm believer that it's not how fast you type, but what you type. Of course I could be tainted by the fact that I can't do much better that 40. Then again, I'm a chemist, not a secretary, so I'm still employed.
  13. If he was speading faith, is that why they decided to celebrate by speading the spirits?
  14. Ooops! I'm gunna have to start checking this place more often from home!
  15. We train at the under black level primarily with the frontal attack. We have several defenses against each type of attack (lunge stab, downward stab, side to side slash, etc.). Most involve a grab and lock of some type. Some can be modified into breaking or re-direction of the knife. Others use a block/lock/strike series. More advanced defenses are taught at higher levels.
  16. We use a combination of the two as well. Top of the foot for targeting the groin, and ball of the foot for all the harder targets.
  17. O.k. in the last couple years we're seen swing dancing come back, then bell bottoms and hip huggers, now break dancing. When does the BIG hair comeback begin???
  18. What are you trying to say three60roundhouse? I've only been up here 4yrs. Before that I lived in Texas for over 20yrs. I'm not sure I like what it sounds like you're insinuating.
  19. I'll give it a shot.
  20. I agree with Shaolin. I think charges for negligence (at the very least) should be brought against the father, and possibly her doctor. God bless those poor trusting children's souls.
  21. Be careful who you call senior you whipper snapper.
  22. Has anyone belonged to a school or club where an outsider came in for the express reason of challenging someone to a bout? No personal reasons, a completely honorable challenge to test his/her skills against the best in your school. According to some stories it used to be quite common "back in the day". Does anyone see this anymore? Have any of you who have trained in the far east seen or heard of it still happening?
  23. As you extend, hold your kick for a split second to prevent from snapping the knee. Then do as KickChick suggested and focus on the pullback of the leg.
  24. Cane would be difficult for someone in a chair to use. It's not used as much to strike as it is to trap. A detachable staff, that they could use either as double short staff or middle length staff (for the extra reach) would probably be the better choice.
  25. We do train in empty handed defense against knife attacks. However, if I had ample notice, I'd probably use the 100 yrd sprint defense.
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