omnifinite

I don't understand what you mean by "growth". Personal growth? More students? What?

It ranks very highly if you ask me.

There's no magic formula someone here can give you. There's a fine line sometimes between a muse and a crutch... maybe she felt that line had been crossed? I don't know. You may also want to question how much of it is being in love with her and how much of it is being in love with love... not to doubt the power of your feelings, but "I just want to love" sounds a little like putting the cart before the horse. I definitely understand someone being the embodiment of your ideals, though. But anyway... none of those things matter right now. All that matters is finding your sanity again. I probably won't do you much good here, so, best wishes.

I wish I had answers for you, but I'm still pretty traumatized almost a year after losing my last love. I had horrible nightmares for about three weeks straight, spent months in a suffocating heart-wrenching daze of self-loathing and regret, and it's a wonder I didn't get an ulcer the one time I happened to be in the same movie theatre with her half a year later (went to the restroom sure I was going to throw up). I felt death would have been a welcome change for quite a while. Now it's just a dull ache that comes when I think about it (sharp when I think a lot about it), but stays pretty much out of mind when I'm focused on other things. If she came back now I'd most certainly refuse, if that's worth anything to you. I know you're in absolute hell right now, and no mere words can make that go away, and rational thought is probably almost impossible, but maybe it will help to think about something awful that may have happened to you years and years ago. You probably can't remember the details of it enough to feel hurt by it, and have more of a "oh yeah, there was that one time" attitude about it. It's something you feel detached from because of all the things that have changed since then. It's in your memory, but you're such a different person now it doesn't exactly feel like it happened to you. In a few years that's probably what this will feel like. That's how some of my previous relationships feel to me now. I suppose the last one will too a few years down the line. Eventually you just won't have the energy to hurt anymore. Your brain will sort some things out even if the changes are subtle and hard to notice. And hopefully in the end you'll be more concerned with tomorrow than you will with yesterday. There are only so many places yesterday can take you anyway, and not many of them are pleasant. This (or anything) probably doesn't help now, but hopefully seeds are being planted in your brain that will help things start to make sense a couple weeks down the line. Focus on action rather than thought for a while, try not to do anything out of character that you'll regret when you're lucid again, and good luck.

Really all he did was pick the guy up and arch himself backwards... he was already in just the right place for it. I don't know if just anyone would think to do something like that in the midst of a pummeling, and it did look like he'd done it before, but I would think a sloppier version of it could at least be pulled off by most people.

Umm... live blades are so sharp most people don't even feel it when they cut themselves... they just suddenly feel wet and look down to see blood pouring out. I don't think I could run myself through with my bokken even if I tied it to something and took a running start. I'd probably glance off.

Bah... "chicks" don't dig anything. One individual digs one thing and another individual digs another.

Nope, just me. My dad was a wrestler in school if that counts, plus whatever military combat training he went through.

1700 forum posts probably won't be much easier .

Yep. Police are ultimately your friends when you aren't someone bent on destroying the good things in the world.

I was just thinking... isn't that what the profile is for?

Yeah... when doing things quickly over and over it's very easy to get sloppy... and doing something sloppily won't teach you anything but bad habits. Better to do 10 great punches a day than 100 out of control ones.

There are plenty of masters of the internal arts who are overweight. It's irrelevant to their abilities and accomplishments... their power comes from somewhere else. Here's an example that comes to mind: http://www.energyarts.com/lores/library/masters/wang.html

Muay Thai is probably the most aggressive art in that list, but that might be more kicking than he's looking for. I'd pick Karate out of that list if it's a good school.

The different wrist alignment supports the bottom three knuckles too.

Hmm... this dead horse doesn't look beaten enough to me...

Maybe we could just call them "Fudds" for short. Appropriately flattering I think .

If a kid knows everything they need to know for black belt at 16 and they quit because they couldn't actually receive it until they were 18, are they really cut out for it anyway?

They relesed 7 disc of soundtracks for it, you know to get money. Well... yeah... I'm just wondering what they filled it with.

Wouldn't a state that has the most handgun laws naturally have the highest rate of handgun crimes? There are more laws to break . More things would be considered crimes in the first place. But yeah, it seems like that would indicate people everywhere are doing their own thing regardless of the laws.

I don't even remember hearing 7 discs worth of songs in Vice City...

Well for those who do, this may come in handy in the future: http://www.allforchildren.org/

Keep trying and eventually it'll click. You just have to know how it feels I guess. Though for some reason I can do it when my hands touch the floor next to my head even if I'm using no pressure at all, but I can't do it with my legs alone. Weird.

Yeah, violent people who are quick to take things as attacks on their egos will usually hear that as "I'm better than you". Bad idea I think.