Personal Mental State

[pandaGIRL]

On 6/11/2024 at 9:37 AM, Nidan Melbourne said:

It's great you got that off your chest, as it can seriously weigh you down, and cause issues in your life.

I've had Serious Mental Health Issues over the Years; Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Codependency, Brain Trauma. So I know what your going through with your own Mental Health.

[qoute]I have had a recurring on-going battle with depression for a little over 10 years, I have seen a therapist, and gone through different CBTs (cognitive behavioural therapy) but it's something that has kept coming back.[/qoute]

What a lot of people don't realise is that Depression is a life-long issue, as we all have our ups and downs. Just like waves in the ocean, but for people like us those "downs" sometimes may be bigger than others.

No matter how much progress we make, there is always the possibility that a depressive episode can occur. But at the same time it is how we look at it, and manage it is the real battle.

 

This was an interesting comment I read in your post. And I know it may sound controversial and some may disagree with me on this.

Yes Family is important, as you have a responsibility to your wife and children.

BUT

At the end of the day; YOU are the most important person in your life.

WHY?

Because if you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your family. When your children look at you taking care of yourself, you are teaching them about SELF-CARE.

After I got married, I had a Car Accident and left my job and this was a few months after my daughter was born. I stopped looking after myself and doing what I needed to do. What happened caused so much tension between my wife and I, and it eventually led to our seperation this past December.

During that period, I gained 70 Kg (154 pounds) and this year I started looking after my head space and my physical health. So I can lose that weight that I had gained over the last few years.

[qoute]I can't figure out if it's a good or bad emotion though[/qoute]

Growing up, I had the same issue where I couldn't recognize what I was feeling emotionally. More often than not, it led to me being short tempered even if it was actually a positive emotion.

But over the last few months, and listening to others and allowing myself to hear what others have to say has allowed me to process what you said.

Emotions, are there to help you stick to your values and to enjoy or learn from a moment in time. Happiness and Sadness have the same end goal and message that is trying to convey. Even though Sadness can have multiple meanings.

Then you compare to Anger, what is it trying to tell you? what occured? Reflect and Learn from it!

 

Everyone goes through a big change when they become a parent. Sometimes you think your ready, but when it happens it may kick you saying "you weren't ready".

For me I thought I was ready when my daughter was born. But in reality I hadn't opened myself up to the difficulties that we were going to face. and that I wasn't actually ready because I was the youngest in the family and never actually held such responsibility in my own family. So I truly struggled in changing and being open to becoming the best father i could be.

And I would do anything for my little one. So I am doing what I have to do to get better for myself, so i can be there for her.

Because at the end of the day, if we can't be open to ourselves especially with the difficult stuff. We can't be open with our partner or kids.

I loved your feedback!! I wish I could say at the end of the day  I am the most important person in my life. I never really learned to see that, I always care too much about my family. I am glad you are able to consider yourself the most important person!

[Nidan Melbourne]

5 hours ago, pandaGIRL said:

I loved your feedback!! I wish I could say at the end of the day  I am the most important person in my life. I never really learned to see that, I always care too much about my family. I am glad you are able to consider yourself the most important person!

I know it seems selfish to put yourself first. But if you can't look after yourself, you'll eventually burn out and won't be good to anyone. 

It took me a long time to realise that I had neglected myself, because I had always put others first. But I got so bad, that I wasn't able to look after my daughter.