The same question returns to you again.

[Occam]

I have come in and out of various martial arts boards, all of which as a guest until now, and I always thought the same thing when I look at them. "All these guys signed up just to ask where to start?"

The question, at the time, was a silly one for me. Now, only a few years later, and I find myself signing up to this very forum just to ask where I can start again.

A bit of background before we go any further. I am a young man, not even halfway through my high school days and I've been in and out of a few places of practice. Most of the reasons stem from some sort of family problem. Usually, I can't get a ride, or it's a struggle on my family or we can't afford it (The last one only happened once). I'll be able to drive soon and with that comes a lot of freedom, and I chose to use that freedom to get back into martial arts. This led me on a chase for any martial arts studios, or dojos, even random people in their homes willing to teach me. I've checked all over: Craiglist, facebook, forums, yahoo and I asked around and found a few decent places. I found only a few on my side of the town, and most of which were closed or I had visited and they seemed like they were focused more on young children.

I live in the city of Lexington, which as explained by my previous martial arts school, was not a very reliable source of income for a martial art's instructor.

The few options I've narrowed myself down to are as follows:

1. I could return to the first studio I truly respected, which was a traditional Chinese martial arts school. I'd have to start over, and apologize sincerely as they do not like insubordination. I had left because I heard people saying that the style they taught, Shaolin-Do was fake and either a poorly fused mix of multiple styles or just designed to look like martial arts. The school is small and tightly knit, but I was having trouble getting rides and felt very bad when I accepted others help to get there.

2. I could return to the most recent gym that I respected. This was a gym that taught MMA and also worked with body builders. They had very good credentials and the people there seemed enthusiastic about their work. They teach MMA, Boxing, BJJ, kickboxing, and self-defense, all of which you are free to go to if you purchase and continue to pay for a membership. I did feel as if I was harshly neglected and expected to understand what I was supposed to do, though I am sure I could quickly adapt. They are focused mainly on sports competition, something I am not too interested in, but it never hurts to try.

3. The third option I had was to return to a friends house and work with her and her father. Her father has been practicing and teaching martial arts since he was a very young adult, in MMA, kickboxing, Boxing, and BJJ. Working with him guarantees hands-on training, a very evenly trained sparring partner, and a nice environment. This is also the farthest away from me, and recently he has had knee surgery which may stop him from being able to show me kicks. The said sparring partner is unsure about me sparring them as well. This leaves me really just learning muscle memory.

4. keep looking: I could always keep trying to find a place better suited to me. I understand that there is no perfect martial arts dojo suited just for me and perhaps I do just need to settle down and train under one of these places for good, or I could continue to search for better places to practice.

For now, I'm just on a workout regimen that barely keeps my body fit. I'm not able to spar or practice with anyone and my muscle memory and body is slowly deteriorating. If you have any suggestions or advice, I would gladly take it. Just the notion that people want to help will be able to give me some sort of boost to try.

[Safroot]

Hi Occam,

Firstly welcome to the forum.

Secondly, if you can't make sure if the school is teaching a real art or not, I would stay away from it.

I would give the Gym (second option) a go for couple of months to see if you can adapt or not, if you can that would be great to be among an enthusiastic team / environment, it will keep you motivated all the time.

It's good to always keep looking for other dojos if you are not satisfied.

Good luck with whatever option you choose

[sensei8]

Welcome to KF, Occam; glad that you're here!!

You find yourself in an conundrum, and it's to be expected with what you've experienced. Who to trust?! What MA to trust?! What instructor to trust?!

Through your writing, and while you're a young man, you don't strike me as someone who blindly makes uninformed decisions about anything, especially where the MA is concerned.

Of the four options, I believe that number 4 would fit you much better, albeit, the 2nd option outweighs the remaining options. One doesn't always want to return to familiar ground in order to just return to just return, but when the options are few and in between, and one's left with very few other choices, what's one left with between the worse of the two evils.

Search your heart, and return where it'll do your MA betterment the most good. Otherwise, keep the search alive until you've found exactly what you're looking for. Rushing into something for the sake of rushing into it never does anyone any viable good.

Youth is on your side, and if it was me, I'd not rush half-cocked into that which comforts me for the time being in order to fill that emptiness. No, I'd search until that which fulfills me is found, and not anytime much sooner.

[Nidan Melbourne]

Welcome to the forum and hope you have some success coming to some decision.

Like Sensei8 said probably go with option 4, that way you can find a club that suits you and what you want out of your training.

[bushido_man96]

Welcome! I agree that you should keep looking, as well. Of the things you listed, you should ask yourself what your goals are, and if any of those options fit your goals. If they do not, and you have the options available, seek them out and see if they offer what you want. Best of luck in your search, and keep at it!

[TJ-Jitsu]

What was it in the MMA school that made you feel neglected? Granted, its important to note that just because something says "MMA" doesnt mean its good or that the person teaching it even knows what they're doing.

Assuming the instructor is competent, there are good instructors and there are poor ones.

Its important to see the reverse side of things too. Some students think they know what they need to know.... despite not knowing what they're doing. Its not uncommon for people to have no idea what they're doing for the first several months of grappling- thats usually one of the hardest phases.

So, maybe you could elaborate a bit?

[Occam]

What was it in the MMA school that made you feel neglected? Granted, its important to note that just because something says "MMA" doesnt mean its good or that the person teaching it even knows what they're doing.

Assuming the instructor is competent, there are good instructors and there are poor ones.

Its important to see the reverse side of things too. Some students think they know what they need to know.... despite not knowing what they're doing. Its not uncommon for people to have no idea what they're doing for the first several months of grappling- thats usually one of the hardest phases.

So, maybe you could elaborate a bit?

I suppose it's only natural, but he really had just assumed I knew what to do. He watched me sit and watch while others put on their gloves and pads, and me coming from a school without such had no clue what was happening, or when he told me to hit the heavy bag, I ended up really hurting my wrist from not being told how to do it.

Granted he has a lot of people he needs to be taking care of, and teaching me is too time consuming for that, but my lack of knowledge in this sort of thing mixed with the high speed of everything just baffled me and left me feeling abandoned.

[Occam]

So, I found a place that teaches tai chi and they appearantly have ties to my old school where the master trained there for a while and had the same complaints as I did. I think I may try that. What are you alls thoughts on tai chi

[bushido_man96]

So, I found a place that teaches tai chi and they appearantly have ties to my old school where the master trained there for a while and had the same complaints as I did. I think I may try that. What are you alls thoughts on tai chi

If you can find a Tai Chi school that teaches the self-defense aspects, then you are looking at something with potential. If its just physical exercise approach they take, then you have to ask if that is what you want out of it.

[MatsuShinshii]

Occam welcome.

I normally would not offer this but after reading your post you seem very mature. I do not take on students under the age of 16 so you do not have to worry about classes structured for children.

I live in Verona, KY about an hour away from you.

Hopefully your Tai Chi classes work out but if they don't and are looking for a traditional art and do not mind the drive, pm (private message) me.

I teach Matsumura Shorin Ryu Karate Jutsu and Kobudo. It's very traditional and I teach every Saturday (4 hours) at my house since some of my students do not have time or do not want to travel to the Dojo. Some live 40 minutes from me and an hour and a half from where my Dojo is located.