Philosophical One

I need some advice preferrably from an instructor with a very large school. Does anyone have a school with over 100 currently training students?

Whenever this question arises I always think of standard gym memberships. You pay for your 6 -12 month contract and you workout when you can. Gyms expect people to drop out, it's up to the individual to work out their private lives and motivations. It's nice of instructors to be accomodating but it's really none of our business, the student can be directed to the various pay structures and choose the correct one for themselves.

Pay as you go can be a good option, but monthly is better for instructors... that way you get the fees regardless of the students particular motivation to train. I would say it is harder to sign people up to a monthly fee schedule but more valuable in the long term. Gyms offer both types but they make sure casual works out to be more expensive... we do the same - we offer both for our Dojo.

No it's not sectioned off. We move from hall to hall during the week so we have no actual static dojo... unfortunately. We are going to have to do something - people are so rude sometimes.

We franchise parts of our curriculum. Some instructors are dead against changes - some are open to it. All the instructors that have given ours a try has been really happy

Wow, your set up sounds awesome! I hope we will have a similar set up in the future... we also have problems with the parents getting 'over involved' You know the type always harping on their kids? Arg - karate parents

Hi everyone. I was just wondering what your various policies were regarding allowing the parents of your students to watch the classes. We have a very relaxed policy - ie. ANYONE can watch... It usually works really well, but occasionally we have people who abuse our 'hospitality' (bringing noisy babies/ toddlers + talking loudly to other perents) Yesterday for example we had a mum with 5 kids (only 2 were training) and the other 3 were running riot into the equipment - shouting- playing and really making a nuisance of themselves. I kept looking over to the mother and she acted like she couldn't see or hear them! Disgusting! I know someone should confront individuals like this - but they are usually the type to fight about it... Unsure how to handle these situations - we definately don't want to alienate paying customers - but something has got to be done... I'm sure this has happened to others. How do you handle these situations?

Being a victim of bullying myself (I've got posts on here about that too) I'm probably not the best person to give advice... But 1 thing I have learned is that these people come into our lives for a reason... we bloody well don't want them there, but they're there... If you handle this situation properly you won't ever get another bully back in your life (unless you forget the lesson) Don't show fear and face up to him. You're tougher than you think. BTW don't let him get away with those derogatory comments "My dogs do that" Tell him where to go.

I didn't vote because I, personally, have never had to make any decisions on loyalty like that. It's almost always ugly when instructors break away like that. It's almost always the better idea to stick with the original club. I say this because running a dojo IS HARD WORK and a huge committment. Most 'breakaways' think they can do it better - the head instructor has made it all LOOK so easy. But it's like any new business - 95% fail in the first year. and of the 5% that survive - 95% of THOSE will fail within 5 years. Maybe they know their Karate, maybe they are passionate - but are they business minded??? Wanna gamble on it? Perhaps the original dojo won't take you back if they fail because then you will have failed to show loyalty. Something to think about anyway.

Just make sure he isn't backstabbing his current instructor... leaving on bad terms and deliberately competing for students in the same area. Not a good sign. If he is behaving less than honourably then how can you trust him with your training? IMO Karate is more than just kicking and punching. It's about personal development and growing your spiritual strength. Don't forget, the original head instructor will have invested time and perhaps money in the 'breakaway' instructors. He will also most likely have spent money on advertising to get YOU as a student. Stealing students is theft. Of course it's impossible for me to know the exact setup that you are speaking of. So do what you think is right.

The ringleader girl was expelled from the club a few months ago. I was really surprised - believe it or not. Things (I thought) had calmed down a lot and I was moving on... but my partner (head instructor) was still not happy with her training or her behaviour. Apparently she was having a negative effect on one of the other girls who was going for her Blackbelt. Also, both she and her mother kept on questioning my partners decisions regarding assistant and junior instructors... because they wanted control over which classes she worked at and who with... Big mistake. After he got angry with them for questioning him, they approached another instructor (a long-time friend) - asking to train with him. Well that instructor - out of respect- told my partner and asked if he minded. My partner said "Sure take them - but demote the girl to White belt, and beware - she and her mother are both trouble makers" He was (at that time) unsure if they began training with the other instructor but he got an email informing him that said girl was "Taking a break from Karate" After several months of her 'break' he terminated her membership, for failure to show loyalty, amoung other things.

Yeah I'm thinking about baked beans, fresh fruit and yogurt. But I'm open to ideas. Salads are probably out of the question- too much prep time. Just about every other tournament I've been to does things the unhealthy way - but one time I attended a weekend Black Belt grading where they had fruit salad and yogurt for everyone.

Zanshin, he gets a cut of the money like $2 per student +10% of all sales including all new members signed up in his class. He calculates what he is owed and gives the rest to the Head Instructor. We pay for all the advertising, recieve and process all karate enquiries, we organise and pay for the hall hire. He was originally providing just the bottom of each sign in sheet with the totals added up - until we got sus and asked for the tops as well. All reciepts are given to the students - written on their training cards, but You've given me a good idea... to look at their cards. But this guy is dishonest - he might not even be providing reciepts to the students. Who knows?

Wow, criminal prosecution... I never even thought of that. I think he should be expelled outright too - trouble is we know he has/is stealing but how to prove it? We have been suspicious of this instructor for some time now, he made sure we never saw the sign on sheets and he would present really small amounts for each class he took (like $20) That class usually makes around $170 on average. Then because of the suspicion we made him hand in the sign in sheets so we could account for every student - see their names, what each paid etc. HE WAS NOT HAPPY that we asked... Then a few weeks later money was missing - written on the sheet but not included in the total- $80. Head instructor asked him what was up and he said sorry, he'd just overlooked it. And that was that. But seriously, if we had never asked for the top of the sheet he would have pocketed the $80. We are on to him, but we do need to prove it more difinitavely. We are thinking seriously about hiring someone unrelated to the club to pretend to be a new student and watch the whole sign on process. We really need to catch him leaving people off the list or not writing up sales - that's more blatant. It's a cash business so we rely on the trust in the Blackbelts and Dan grades that the head instructor (my partner) has known for years. It's just so hard to know what to do, the final decision isn't even up to me, but I do get to have some input.

I hope this is the correct place to post this. I usually work in the canteen at tournaments and I'm also responsible for buying the food... I have just continued on in the tradition of my predecessors - sausages bread, chips and chocolate, soft drinks... But I really hate serving junk to athletes at athletic events. What do other clubs do? Does everyone do the same?

In our Karate school we have 5 independent classes every week. (Classes where the head instructor does not attend) Well, we have caught a senior instructor with his hand in the til, it's really concerning and it's impossible to know how long he has been stealing or even how much over the years. We have several options. We can keep him on and pretend nothing's wrong... We can try to find someone to go to each of his classes and do his books.. We can fire him outright... We can give his class to someone else... As you can imagine there are problems with each option. He has quite a loyal following, I'm not sure how many students we would lose if we fired him (if any) but I do know our members would whinge a lot if he was forced to leave. He also has a daughter and son who instructs - I guess we'd lose them all if we kicked him out... They do all teach the same class where the theft has occurred so perhaps it's better to fire them all... Has anyone else had to face this problem? Love to hear any points of view. Thanks.

Hi Menjo, I'm really glad you're ok. I really must commend you for telling the instructor too. Too many people keep quiet about these sorts of things... the person gets away with it and they can continue to upset more and more people. It's a shame there are these sorts of people in Karate.

This is such an emotive topic - the bullying of your son makes me feel really angry for him and you. I really hope the school can resolve this issue to your son's and to your satisfaction. Please make sure that the bullying behaviour is RESOLVED and not just pushed "underground" lots of kids are being bullied online now and exclusion can be every bit as damaging... I think if it was my son I would get him some counselling and change his school. I am quite surprised by the title of this thread "My son got into a fight at school" I was expecting to read a post about a fight... but it sounds like really brutal bullying - a mob attack even. I'm really glad you are going to tell your Sensei about the attack - my partners students are often seeking answers to their bullying problems - your Sensei should be able to offer support to both of you. Most people have experienced bullying and hopefully your Karate club will offer you the support you need right now. I know you are considering allowing your son to take a break from Karate because he says he wants to - but loss of interest in current activities can be a sign of depression - so I'm not sure if that's such a good idea... Make sure your son knows that none of this is his fault - no matter what he has said or done and that no matter what there is always someone he can confide in and that these sorts of things happen to everyone. My sincere best wishes Philosophical One

Well, one set of parents is nice to me now - they still make me feel a bit uncomfortable but they seem to be really nice and genuinely friendly which I really appreciate. They were the ones I had a confrontation with at the end of last year. The other 2 mother's are still the same... Two of the girls are still the same... BUT the ringleader has improved out of sight and is almost likeable - if I didn't have issues from previous rudeness I'd say she was the typical nice student... She (the ringleader) achieved her Blackbelt last year - I WAS NOT HAPPY - but hey I was in no position to block her - no Blackbelt no vote. I'm trying to improve myself and I am still looking for answers as to why all this has happened to me. I am planning to assist one of the instructors in teaching this year and I'm pursuing more friendships outside of Karate. So there are slight improvements but it's not 100% by any means hopefully things will continue to improve thoughout the year.

Well, I used to train - I am a 4th Kyu... but I work 2 jobs and am usually happy to sit back and watch these days Ppl also gave me a hard time when I graded - ie. "You don't need to try or worry - you'll pass regardless because of your boyfriend" and "I will go easy on you, because I don't want to get into trouble" Used make me cross! All these people grading to BB next month started when I did. And - want to know the awful truth? If I sparred these girls I don't think I'd demonstrate an appropriate level of control. Ironically, I'm smaller than them (and now a lower grade) but once I get angry there's no stopping me. Anyway, they are supposed to be apologising to me tonight - I don't want to hear it ... I'm still too cross. I'm beginning to realise that I am a "difficult person" I just can't handle conflict with any degree of aplomb.

The trouble with punishments is the fact that parents can sometimes get really upset with you. It's hard enough facing a room full of screaming kids at the start of each lesson and also having to deal with the fact that some parents don't support you in disciplining them. Sometimes also the onlooking parents chattering to each other or holding crying infants can be more disruptive to the class than the excited 5 year old students. Just sayin'.

Well it's out of my hands now... My boyfriend got up this morning and had a meeting with the Dan grades about my experiences... I feel a bit embarrassed because I was sort of "getting over it" and had gotten to the point where I was ready to let it drop. Pretty much they all agree that I should've demanded respect and not let things go this far... All the higher grades have worked with the girls and say they are improving and should just be cautioned and not expelled. But my partner is going to offer them their grading fees back and threaten them with expulsion tomorrow morning. He says he is sick of it and doesn't want his home life disrupted any further. I'm glad in one way - I'm happy that my partner believes me but all this confrontation is making me physically ill. And I don't think it's going to improve things at all - they might improve to my face... but I'll bet the backstabbing is going to get out of control now.

Well I spoke to my boyfriend again tonight and I let him look at all the posts here... He is right when he says I need to change - it's true I do, I am so not perfect But I just can't understand why these people are the way they are, but I'm beginning to accept it. My boyfriend said that I need to divorce myself from their behaviours and just see them as people with problems and not take everything so personally. This is a skill - I am learning and listening to him. I do understand when he says he can't just pull rank everytime there's a problem with various personalities within the club and kick people out... he's just not into any type of power play. I think this is an important trait in any coach or instructor, but I do find my partner to be way too passive and forgiving at times. It irks me at times. Like I said - If I were him they would've been out long ago. He says that he's happy to help them work on themselves for as long as it takes - that, he believes, is his role as a coach and mentor... but he also knows he holds all the power cards and he can get rid of them at any time he chooses. Hmm sometimes I believe that people come into your life to teach you something about yourself. But man, what a painful and difficult lesson this is for me.

Yeah I don't know what's wrong with my boyfriend - he is so passive and forgiving. Not of ME though - he hasn't spoken to me all day because I went off at him last night He always thinks you can work it out with people - and I agree you usually can but I personally don't want to have a relationship with these people anymore- fixing the problems they have caused for me is too hard for me to do. I'm not too strong mentally I guess. I'm thinking seriously of changing the payment structure - to an electronic system of some sort - but you know it doesn't fix the people - and the core of the issue here. If I were in his place they would've all been kicked out at least a year ago - one of the girls was caught bullying another student at the end of year grading last year...and one of the mothers stormed into our house and went off at my boyfriend for telling everyone to work harder - she actually was angry because she figured he really meant her daughter even though he said it was everyone... I had my boyfriends kids upstairs playing and we could hear her yelling at him from the backyard. It's unbelieveable.... I'm exhaused and need a holiday

Thanks so much for all the replies! I'm feeling much calmer now - I can go back to bottling it all up It's true I am one of those people who don't react until I've got so much stored up that I just pretty much go mental... it's hard to change the way that I am - and I actually don't want to because it's too painful. I get all shaky and break out in hives if I have to confront someone and I'm having a really hard time accepting the situation I am in. I really need a holiday from Karate, I do like working there but people are really demanding of me - as a rule - and I am really worn out, stressed out and now angry too. Perhaps some of the problem with these people is the fact that they are worn out and stressed too - they've been training their tails off all year and now their Blackbelts are in sight but still there's no guarantee of success... I liked what Jiffy said "Never feel guilty about taking money" It's true I do feel guilty - I don't know why - is that a common experience?