Mental motivation

[pandaGIRL]

Hello everyone,

I just recently signed up. I just wanted some feedback..

I am 37 and I recently started karate, and within 3 months I stopped.

I was not practicing a lot (which is my fault) and I got overwhelmed because the younger and older people in my adult class were more knowledgeable.( i know comparing was not the smartest thing to do)

I just got too anxious, annoyed, and gave up. I do enjoy it, and would like to return but how do I get the "I'm terrible, I'll never get this" out of my mind.

I am too hard on myself, and take it too seriously..

Thank you guys !

 

 

[ryanryu]

Welcome! I am in a similar situation with my work after starting a job in a new field. It is really frustrating to want to be better, but just not be there yet.

I've been trying to do 2 things -

1. Take small steps. Just focus on a small portion and get that down first. Once I understand that, I can get the next building block.

2. Give yourself time. Literally, put a timeline on it. I've given myself X months, X weeks even, to just work at it then I'll re-evaluate at the end.

The martial arts are very complicated to learn and, in my opinion, everyone will go through a period in their training like you are now. I certainly have. But I think in a lot of ways that ability to be bad at something and just stick with it is a major benefit of training. It can be a grind, but it is very empowering when you get to the other side. 

There is a common Japanese saying that I put in my training space that captures this idea - Seven times down, Eight times up. 

Good luck!

[KarateKen]

5 hours ago, pandaGIRL said:

Hello everyone,

I just recently signed up. I just wanted some feedback..

I am 37 and I recently started karate, and within 3 months I stopped.

I was not practicing a lot (which is my fault) and I got overwhelmed because the younger and older people in my adult class were more knowledgeable.( i know comparing was not the smartest thing to do)

I just got too anxious, annoyed, and gave up. I do enjoy it, and would like to return but how do I get the "I'm terrible, I'll never get this" out of my mind.

I am too hard on myself, and take it too seriously..

Thank you guys !

 

 

It is common to feel overwhelmed when starting Karate, or any martial art, or anything new in life really.  Did you enjoy training? Keep in mind martial arts are not for everyone, there is no shame in trying it for three months and then deciding it is not for you.  I often times still get frustrated when I am not improving at the rate I wish I was and can get frustrated.  There were many times I took my frustration home with me.  If you want to learn the only way to do it is to keep working at it.  Remember it takes years of practice to get some of these things down fully.  Each class you attend, you improve.  Sometimes the improvement is tough to see, others it is clear, but you will improve every time you go to class. 

[Nidan Melbourne]

5 hours ago, pandaGIRL said:

Hello everyone,

I just recently signed up. I just wanted some feedback..

I am 37 and I recently started karate, and within 3 months I stopped.

I was not practicing a lot (which is my fault) and I got overwhelmed because the younger and older people in my adult class were more knowledgeable.( i know comparing was not the smartest thing to do)

I just got too anxious, annoyed, and gave up. I do enjoy it, and would like to return but how do I get the "I'm terrible, I'll never get this" out of my mind.

I am too hard on myself, and take it too seriously..

Thank you guys !

 

 

 

Thanks for sharing! 

As an Instructor, I can see who practice and who don't outside of class. 

- Does that annoy me? not really, because I recognise that people may not have the time or there's other factors that inhibit ones ability to train outside of class. 

- How does one deal with the anxiety around others being more knowledgeable? it takes time to accept that others may know more or are better, it is a learnt skill what you do. 

 Same as you, I had a lot of anxiety and in a way jealousy around some people being smarter than me until I became a decent instructor and was offered to be on staff here to accept that fact. 

By letting that go, I found that my knowledge has grown greatly. 

When it comes to training (whatever form it takes), they will be your greatest asset especially where you observe how they move and you find out why they are doing that. 

WHen I get any thought that is not functional, I ignore it and keep on swimming. 

[sensei8]

Welcome to KF, pandaGIRL; glad you’re here!!

Great advice so far!! 

The MA was never supposed to be a walk in the park with roses and flowers. If the MA was easy, everyone would be doing. Sure, some students acclimate to MA training easier than others but all have one thing in common…TIME!! The fear of the unknown of the floor is a real thing.

Take one day at a time!! You’re supposed to be terrible UNTIL you’re not. Everything and anything is overwhelming whenever it’s new!! Every CI will tell you “Practice makes perfect” and that’s no exasperation!!

As already mentioned, the MA should be taken in baby steps. No exceptions!! Believe in yourself totally!! What are you real good at outside of the MA?? Think back to that time when you were terrible at that and thought you’d never get it. But now, in time, you worked through it all and now, you’re pretty darn good at it now. That same thing will happen again but only in time. 

In the MA, every technique, no matter how small, has to mature and that maturity takes time so be patient across the board.

You got this!!

 

Edited December 21 by sensei8

[pandaGIRL]

1 hour ago, sensei8 said:

Great advice so far!! 

The MA was never supposed to be a walk in the park with roses and flowers. If the MA was easy, everyone would be doing. Sure, some students acclimate to MA training easier than others but all have one thing in common…TIME!! The fear of the unknown of the floor is a real thing.

Take one day at a time!! You’re supposed to be terrible UNTIL you’re not. Everything and anything is overwhelming whenever it’s new!! Every CI will tell you “Practice makes perfect” and that’s no exasperation!!

As already mentioned, the MA should be taken in baby steps. No exceptions!! Believe in yourself totally!! What are you real good at outside of the MA?? Think back to that time when you were terrible at that and thought you’d never get it. But now, in time, you worked through it all and now, you’re pretty darn good at it now. That same thing will happen again but only in time. 

In the MA, every technique, no matter how small, has to mature and that maturity takes time so be patient across the board.

You got this!!

 

I am pretty stubborn, I imagine (99% sure) I will return again after the holidays.

   I just hope I can get into the idea of taking it one day at a time.

It's not so much that I am jealous of the other people, they have been great, and supportive.

I am lucky I have good people in the class.

It's my negative self-talk that I just say, "oh I'm not going to get this" which turns into
I'll never get this, I quit!

 

[Zaine]

I hope that you do return! There's a reason that we're so passionate about it. Those who stick with it become incredibly passionate about it. There's just something about martial arts that keeps us coming back. Lean on how supportive the people are. They don't care about how good or bad you might be, they care that you showed up willing to learn. It can definitely be frustrating. I've been doing martial arts for 23 years and I still get frustrated when learning new things sometimes! I remember learned a set of kata and thinking that "I will never teach anyone these kata!" because it was frustrating to me. They're still not my favorite, but now that I'm a few years removed from that learning experience I see the value in them and would teach them to anyone who wants to know.

[pandaGIRL]

On 12/23/2024 at 10:01 AM, Zaine said:

I hope that you do return! There's a reason that we're so passionate about it. Those who stick with it become incredibly passionate about it. There's just something about martial arts that keeps us coming back. Lean on how supportive the people are. They don't care about how good or bad you might be, they care that you showed up willing to learn. It can definitely be frustrating. I've been doing martial arts for 23 years and I still get frustrated when learning new things sometimes! I remember learned a set of kata and thinking that "I will never teach anyone these kata!" because it was frustrating to me. They're still not my favorite, but now that I'm a few years removed from that learning experience I see the value in them and would teach them to anyone who wants to know.

Yes I agree with you Zaine . I hope I do return. It is something I am passionate about otherwise my mind wouldn't be telling me to return.