Hello from UK......Advice wanted!

[Johnboy101]

Hi Everyone,

After many years of out of Karate i am thinking of taking it up again.

Although this time i would like to start with my little boy who is 7.

Can anyone offer any advice that may help?

My boy is more interested in minecraft and youtube than Karate. Really want to get him into it and as passionate about Karate as i was when i was his age.

Anyone train with their child or offer any advice?

Thanks in Advance

[Patrick]

Welcome to our community, Johnboy101. I'm sure that our members will have some great thoughts to offer you soon.

Patrick

[Hawkmoon]

...

My boy is more interested in minecraft and youtube than Karate. Really want to get him into it and as passionate about Karate as i was when i was his age.

Anyone train with their child or offer any advice?

Thanks in Advance

Hi there Johnboy101!

I have a son who lives and dies all things xBox and mindcraft...well CoD nowadays!

A few years back a cupboard clean out had a very old very tatty Shogun Gold weigh GI fall out onto the floor!

My son asked me what it was because it was to grubby and to stiff to be PJs! I explained what it was which prompted an avalanche of more questions.... All good fun a few memories came back and a promise to go into the attic to get my box of trophies down for him to look at!

He asked if he could have a go, so I had a look for local clubs for him to take a look at, my own club had (I thought) had closed up and was no more.

A local kickboxing club was found he had a look, then had a go, he's now a top brown rank (1st kyu) looking to go BB later this year!!

...at which time he's informed me and his mum he'll stop kickboxing and focus on football!

We are working on him to keep going past the BB grading (if he is successful) but I get the feeling all this is doing is pushing him further and further away from his art !

For me its a little annoying because although he does kickboxing and I do Kyokushinkai (yes I returned to MA because of him!) we had an extra, another bond ... and to be honest I liked the idea of this connection. Later on we realized he was working to be a brown belt like me and that he was gong to be better than me !!... that setup up a competition between us!

I'm now a 1st Dan the Shodan rank I wear has been I fear the only reason he is still working at kickboxing ... he wants to match me and my rank!

I'd suggest don't push him, let him explore the art, maybe others (if possible) do make it fun and not a chore or something he might look upon like homework for example!

[sensei8]

As Hawkmoon has already suggested, don't push him into it! Let him want to do it for himself, and not for anyone else. As in anything that he's tried, and walked away from, or has remained to do that which he loves.

And not just kids, but adults do the very same thing, but, an adult can decide for themselves, but for a kid, the added pressure from a parent can be quite daunting, to say the least.

If I may suggest, take your son to SEVERAL/MANY different schools of the MA (Martial Arts) over a months time, and let your son see how fun and rewarding the MA can be. But, in the end, it's HIS decision alone, and if he's pushed into doing the MA against his wishes, he'll never want to darken the door of any MA school.

Does your son have any friends that do any MA? If so, take him to that school and see for himself just how much fun his friend(s) are having learning the MA.

Remind him anything...everything...take effort to become skillful at whatever it might be. Remind him that when he first played minecraft, he wasn't the good at it, and it frustrated him to no end, yet, in time, he was becoming much more skilled at it, and will continue to get better the more he plays minecraft!!

The same principle is in the MA. At first, he won't be that good at it, yet, in time, he'll get better at it across the board. However, as in anything worth striving for, he'll have to love the MA, and that will take time, as does everything else that he does now. The MA can be a love and hate relationship for many untold reasons, albeit, if he applies a positive mindset about the MA, he'll love it much more than hate it.

If he doesn't want to do the MA, or if he decides to stop learning the MA, it's all good. Why? Because he's been exposed to the MA, and no matter how little you or he might think, he'll have learnt something positive, and, if so be it, he'll remember how to defend himself, somehow and someway.

While you loved the MA at the age your son is now, it's his MA journey! Worse thing I've seen is watching parents trying to live their MA journey through their children. It never works out for everyone concerned.

Good luck, hang in there, and please, don't force him or rush him into the MA; let him start his MA journey on his own in his own time! If he chooses to learn the MA, please try to be at every class and every tournament to show you support him.

One last thing, shall he choose to learn the MA, help him, but don't try to teach him the MA, even if you're intentions are thoughtful and/or if you've MA experience, don't teach....support him across the board. His instructor is the instructor, and not you or any other well intended person. Any teaching might only undermine what his instructor is teaching. Can't serve two...just one, and his instructor is the one...the ONLY ONE...until your son decides otherwise.

[Nidan Melbourne]

Don't force him into it, I would say take him in for a few lessons as many clubs would offer an introductory program prior to signing up for a membership.

If he likes it after those first few lessons then sign him up if not don't stress about it.

like you said that he isn't as interested or passionate about MA like you were when you were his age. It boils down to a difference in the age that you were growing up where there was no minecraft or youtube.

Many children these days are more interested in Youtube over physical activities, which to me is disappointing. But you should get them into a MA or sport because he would probably enjoy it.

[Bulltahr]

My 9 year old (at the time) got me back into it and she loves karate and loves it even more that we do it together. I purposely did not push her at all, until she started complaining that I didn't show enough interest in her karate!

Now we do pad work at home, she shows me how high she can get her mawashi at random time during the week.

The bonding is awesome and I never have had to push it at all. It's all come from her, I just had to put the gi back on.

[JR 137]

Just as everyone's said, don't push. Karate wasn't on my 5 year old daughter's radar. I wanted to get back into it, and I wanted her to as well (I want my 3 year old daughter to when she's old enough).

I piqued her interest by watching parts of the karate kid movie with her. Then I got her watching Disney's Kickin' It show. I taught her some basic punches and kicks, and she was hooked. She's been going with my for a little over 3 months now. She loves every minute of it.

But not all kids will like it. If you push, your kid will push back one way or another.

[Spartacus Maximus]

Children are always watching the adults around them, especially their parents. Even more so when said adults are not aware or do not think they are watching. The best way to get a son or daughter to try something that one enjoys is to expose them to it.

Talk about it and let them watch training as early as possible. When a child sees their parent passionate about an activity and really enjoying doing it, they are far more likely to develop an interest than if they are thrown into it or pushed. The rest is up to the child to decide.

[bushido_man96]

Welcome to KF! Glad to have you!

Kids are tricky. I've got two boys of my own, and a grown daughter. My daughter tried TKD for a while, but she didn't enjoy it, and got out. She loves to run, though. She runs half marathons now.

My boys wrestle. The older one also plays football and baseball, so we stay busy. I don't want to force them to do what I like, but to find their own passion. Maybe someday, one of them will join me on the floor.

[sensei8]

Welcome to KF! Glad to have you!

Kids are tricky. I've got two boys of my own, and a grown daughter. My daughter tried TKD for a while, but she didn't enjoy it, and got out. She loves to run, though. She runs half marathons now.

My boys wrestle. The older one also plays football and baseball, so we stay busy. I don't want to force them to do what I like, but to find their own passion. Maybe someday, one of them will join me on the floor.

Solid post!! Especially the bold type above!!