I am a martial artist and do not XYZ

[Spartacus Maximus]

Everyone who has been involved in martial arts long enough has heard a few weird or rediculous assumptions and stereotypes about martial arts and those who practise them. This game thread is to list them and deny or debunk them like so:

My name is Spartacus Maximus and I am a martial artist.

1.I do not break boards or ice with my head, (2) I do not utter high pitched shouts and perform backflips and (3) I most certainly do not attempt to catch, gnats or fruit flies with chopsticks.

[Hawkmoon]

HAHAHA!

 

(2) .. my names not Zena either!

I'm Hawkmoon ...

1. I do break boards with my hand as part of the demonstration crowd in the summer months.

2. I cannot kill with a look or shoot bolts of lightning from the other behind a bed sheet held high, To save man kind in a fight to the death!...on this or any other dimension.

3. I do not use my mystical powers turning pages of books either!

[mazzybear]

I am Mazzybear........

1. I do not win competitions using the crane kick!!

2. I do not partake in revenge missions to punish those who have wronged me.

3. I cannot jump 10 feet in the air and kick 7 people before landing.

Mo.

[sensei8]

I do not give rank away!!

I do not rip the heart out of my attackers body

I do not do "no touch KO's"

I do not retract my testicles into my body

Oh yeah...

I do not share the floor with any parent/friend/spouse/grandparent/guardian/relative/etc of my students!!

[Nidan Melbourne]

My name is Nidan Melbourne

1. I do not have testicles of steel

2. I don't strike first, strike hard, no mercy

3. I am not like bruce lee

[Ghesset]

My name is Ghesset and I do not

1. Thrust my hands into baskets of rice to toughen my fingers for open handed heart strikes

2. Wear Tapout gear to the mall to scare off any eye contact

3. Know who would win a fight between practitioners of Kenpo or Sōsuishi-ryū

[Fat Cobra]

My name is Fat Cobra and I am a martial artist.

I do not:

1) let disrespect or insults go unchallenged!

2) fail to seek revenge when necessary!

3) listen to any other martial artist except for Master Ken!

[bushido_man96]

Re-stomp the groin!

[MAD Mike]

I do not carry weapons.

I do not arm myself twice.

I do not allow anyone to schedule.

I do not follow anyone's budget.

I plan for this.

I am a fighter.