Does anyone here teach their own children?

[muttley]

I have 2 children who are very, VERY different, my 3 year old is full of boisterous activity and tires me out just watching him, my 6 year old is completely the opposite, wouldn't say boo to a goose and is very emotional, she studies ballet and is so bright.

Unfortunately, my 6 years olds school friends take the mickey out of her and she doesn't seem to have the confidence to deal with this, in this, she reminds me of myself when I started school. Some of her "friends" study karate, one of them is quite bullish in her ways and I really want my daughter to stand up to this girl. With this in mind, I have been looking for karate clubs in my area for my daughter, my wife is not so keen on this as she thinks it will just tire her out (she is tired quite often).

My wife has suggested that I teach her some of the basics of karate, being that I have trained for so long in shotokan, I can teach the basic movements, but I am not sure that teaching the basics is enough.

Has anyone on here tried to teach their own children at all? If so, any hints and tips you could pass on?

[chiliphil1]

I have tried and I have failed..

The issue I had with it was that I could not get the kids to take it seriously and I didn't have the facilities or equipment to grab them.

In a marial arts school the instructor is the authority, even as a parent you don't hold that kind of authority, the kids always see things with you as "play time" whereas in a school they will have a different attitude. In addition to all of that kids need to have some sort of fun entertainment with it, thus the punching bags, balls, mats, etc.. to keep it interesting and I didn't have any of that.

I came to the conclusion that if I want them to learn I will have to get them to a dojo to do it, you may have different results but it did not work for me or anyone else I know.

[muttley]

I have to admit, it was pretty difficult trying to teach her basic step into front stance and gedan barai! I might just see if I can teach her the very basics and Kihon Kata then get her to the dojo.

[Mark B]

My daughter is 12, and has been training with me since the age of 9.

I have no problem at all, in fact my niece and nephew also train in my junior class. All three are doing great, better than that in fact, they're three of my standout students.

On the day of this post my daughter graded to junior 2nd kyu . Her grading was of the highest order (and my junior syllabus is tough).

One thing I would say, I almost expect more from her then the others, although I do try and treat all the students equally.

I enjoy teaching her, and look forward to the future training when she's old enough to move into my senior class.

[sensei8]

Great topic!!

I've four children, from two marriages; two boys and two girls. I've taught to one of my girls and one of my boys. Neither of them reached BB; respectively, one to nikyu and one to gokyu. Other interests won their attentions, and I'm fine with that because I've never insisted to them in any shape, way, and/or form to follow my MA intents; they've their own MA paths, as I've mine.

I've thought onto myself from time to time, if I would've wanted any of them to reach Senior Dan ranks? NO! Their MA journey is theirs through and through, and for the two that had interests at one time for the MA, I'm deeply proud of them, as I am with the two that never once considered the MA.

I support them all

wholeheartedly no matter their chosen interests!!

Two tips that I'd like to share!! I never approached them, their interests were of their own design. In that, I never treated them different than any other student; I didn't favor them nor did I pressure them more. To me, a student is a student, and neither of my children received special treatments either way. Also, don't "old school" them because that, imho, will drive them to hate you and/or the MA; either way is a no-win scenario.

[jaypo]

I put my son in my CI's junior class, and he stayed for a year. However, he moaned and whined the entire time! My wife wouldn't let me take him out of class, which surprised me. What sucks is that he was really good! I never instructed his class, but I find he was more receptive to practicing with me at home instead of practicing in the Dojo. Ultimately, Soccer won out, and he's no longer a martial artist.

A few years ago, my daughter asked to train with me. I was training for my 1st kyu, and she started during that time. We were able to test at the same time, and we both passed! She trained a little while longer and got to 8th kyu, but she got involved in drama and singing, and that is her passion. I appreciated the fact that she asked if she could train with me, and I never had to ask her!

[Nidan Melbourne]

I don't have any children just yet (i'm 23!) but i have taught privately my cousins children because they are getting bullied and my cousin wanted them to learn how to defend themselves.

So that is fairly close though; 1 is very interested and the other is kind of interested but not fully in to it.

[Spartacus Maximus]

Teaching martial arts to one's children is no different than teaching them anything else. For nearly all children it is quite impossible to separate the role of parent from teacher. As a general guideline, the lessons should be short but focused. They should be done seriously, but also enjoyable like a challenging game.

The most important thing is to never force or pressure the child to train. The only thing to do is to allow them to watch training until they can say for themselves what they think. Give the child all the resources and time to decide and if they show serious interest, encourage and support in every way.

One of my dojo fellows has a son who has been watching his father train since the age of 3. The man let him watch and try to copy the moves. The boy watched and eventually asked to start but the man told his son to really think about it and then maybe....That boy practically begged to be taken along until finally at 12 years old, the father allowed him to join him. Now that kid is one of the higher grade students and the only child in the dojo. I cannot recall ever seeing a father so proud of his son. They are nearly the same grade now, and this child has no problem keeping up.

[ashworth]

I don't have children yet, I hope to in the future and can see myself being stricter and expecting a higher standard of discipline from them if they were to get into the martial arts (I really hope they do!)

instructors that teach their own children... did you find yourself being stricter on your own children if they are in the dojo?

[Spartacus Maximus]

Teaching in the dojo and at home should be different but in the dojo everyone must be treated equally whether or not they are related to the instructor. That way children know exactly what is expected of their behaviour and training. Everyone is there to train and although it may seem like a game, the dojo is not a place to horse about.

In Okinawa I had a sensei who trained all his grandsons and he made absolutely no difference. He was as strict with them as with ebb the adults. They had to address him as sensei just like everyone else and if they failed to practise seriously he would immediately send them home. No second chance, no warning.

Like all children they had good and bad days, but overalll they had no problem. The fact they were treated equally actually motivated them to try their hardest because they knew that when they left the dojo, sensei was just grandpa. Being strict is only beneficial when applied to everyone. Special treatment breeds laziness and resentment which are counterproductive to effective training and enjoyable practise.