An instructor I knew for 5 years left... can anybody relate?

[DC111]

Hi, all. I guess you could consider me new here since I don't post very much, but I've been around before. I just do more reading than talking, I guess.

Anyway, ever since I joined the karate school I go to, there's one instructor who was always my favorite - he held classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I went to the Tuesday/Thursday classes. I sort of got to know him over the years... he was a really great guy and taught me quite a bit more than martial arts. He was respectful to everyone, and humorous, and he had an optimistic outlook on life that always amazed me. The kind of person you'd want to be like, you know? One of those rare people that you should consider yourself lucky to have met.

Well... a few months ago, I stopped going to the dojo because of personal issues, not to mention being busy. I'm going back very soon, because I love karate and I've met lots of other great people there and I'm nowhere near ready to give it up yet. It just sort of tore me in two when I found out he had left. Has anyone else ever been in a situation like this? I guess I'm just looking for someone to talk to about this. When the head instructor of a dojo leaves - especially one you really appreciated - it just doesn't seem the same.

[dineshm]

Did he join a new school?

Join that school

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

I can relate to your story in a different way. when i was younger and in the gup ranks, there was this thirty-something-year-old woman named kerry. we had become fantastic friends and long time training partners for about three years, and then suddenly one day, she left without notice and i have not seen her since. one day my chief instructor told me she'd be coming back and she wanted to put her son in my class. i was ecstatic, but she never came. i was very disappointed and always miss her. i just wish i had found a way to tell her what an influence she had on my before she left. i really think she's one of the reasons that people acclaim me one of the "great instructors" with a "gift" i really think she taught me how to deal and relate with people. she was always a very very pleasant and funny person. i've never really told anybody how sad i was that she left. i still have a picture of me and her, recieving ranks as green belts. let me tell you, i wish i had those days back for just a day.

[IcemanSK]

I can relate. I had just gotten my 1st Dan. I was 17 & thought my instructor absolutely hung the moon. About 6 months later, he announces that he's selling the school & moving out of state. The guy he sold the school was....not as good a technician nor as good an instructor. He was not from our school. In fact, I'd never seen him until 2 weeks before the change-over. I was really hurt but figured I needed to sit down with my new instructor & get to know him. The first thing he said to me was "Master Kim taught you the wrong way: I'm going to teach you the right way." I got up from my chair & said, "I don't think so, sir" I bowed & never went back.

I began to train at the school where my friends trained.

After 20+ years of hindsight, I'd offer this advice (take it for what it's worth). If you can learn from the other folks around (or the new main instructor) do so. There are people there who are going through the same thing. Going through together is a good thing. If you cannot learn/train under the new main instructor, find another place. Sticking around in a place where you don't feel you can learn & grow will only sour you on the experience of training. I did that with another school (different circumstance) & never really felt connected there. Nearly lost my love for the Art.

my 2 cents. I wish you all the best.

[bushido_man96]

That is a pretty rough deal. Looking around at other options may be the way to go, unless you think you can adapt to the new instructor. Either way, it sounds like you will be learning from someone new; I would just prefer to have the choice.

[DC111]

Yeah... my instructor didn't start another school or anything. I know he injured his back some time ago and it's been hard for him to keep instructing and training... and I think he might have lost interest, too.

I know the instructor who's running the school, and from what I've been told, the way he does things is pretty similar to the instructor who left, which is good.

I can relate to your story in a different way. when i was younger and in the gup ranks, there was this thirty-something-year-old woman named kerry. we had become fantastic friends and long time training partners for about three years, and then suddenly one day, she left without notice and i have not seen her since. one day my chief instructor told me she'd be coming back and she wanted to put her son in my class. i was ecstatic, but she never came. i was very disappointed and always miss her. i just wish i had found a way to tell her what an influence she had on my before she left. i really think she's one of the reasons that people acclaim me one of the "great instructors" with a "gift" i really think she taught me how to deal and relate with people. she was always a very very pleasant and funny person. i've never really told anybody how sad i was that she left. i still have a picture of me and her, recieving ranks as green belts. let me tell you, i wish i had those days back for just a day.

That's exactly how I feel. Of course, I didn't realize until I found out he LEFT how much I really enjoyed karate when he was instructing. Always seems to work that way.

Thanks for replying, guys.

[NewEnglands_KyoSa]

No problem

I know how you feel and like i said this is the first time i've ever really thought about it like that. But, it's happened to everyone, people come and go in your life...it's guaranteed. You may never get over it, but you may forget it. But keep training...that's always the best remedy.

[Shotokan-kez]

These stories are heartwarming. I haven't experienced anything like this but knowing how i feel about my instructors i really wouldn't like this to happen to me. What we have to think about here is what these people taught you and what you can cherish forever and maybe pass on to other people. Just think about how they made you feel about karate and life when you get sad an it will clear. I hope you get everything you want out of your new instructor and your karate!

[tori]

My first instructor actually died. It was hard on all of us. We tried to keep the school going, but without a head instructor, it failed. I look back now and appreciate what I learned from him. He was tough, classes were tough. It was a time when instructors were brutal on their students. Practice was nightly and hours long. You left with bumps, bruises, and at times, broken bones. I love my current school and the instructor I have now, especially for his amazing technique and knowledge of the art. Classes arent as viscous as they were in my old school, but that was years ago and I personally don't really want to go to work with broken fingers, toes, or a broken nose. The day will come when this, ( instructor closes the school or I leave (because of age or what have you). I just am glad for the time I have right now and the knowlegde I gain just from knowing these people.

[DC111]

Thanks a lot for the replies.

I just found out that my Sensei MIGHT (big might) come to one of our Bo Staff classes to help instruct. That would be awesome if I got a chance to talk to him one more time, you know, and tell him I thought he was a good instructor.

Either way, I feel really fortunate that I was one of his students.