Chivalry?

[GrrrArg]

This is kind of a broadening of the "Matter of Honour Thread" started by Seraph in the general arts section.

 

Do you think shivalry has a place in the modern world and if so what is it/does it mean?

 

Eg: not hitting women, holding doors open for women, giving up seats for women (especially pregnant women/old ladies) etc:

 

And do women actually appreciate chivalry in a man?

[SBN Doug]

I don't feel it's exclusively toward women, but I do feel it still has a place.

[Kirves]

Usually, only extreme feminists don't like being treated like a lady and have men open doors for them, carry their bags or give them seats. Some extreme feminists see it as demeaning towards women, while the rest see it as politeness and being nice.

[fireka]

im the jerk off that has the only no vote in the poll. i used to be a very strong beliver of chivalry and practiced it very religously, but then i came to a relization. there is no since in trying to be a gentelman in a world were we have run out of ladies.

[Bart the Lover]

Kirves wrote:

Usually, only extreme feminists don't like being treated like a lady and have men open doors for them, carry their bags or give them seats. Some extreme feminists see it as demeaning towards women, while the rest see it as politeness and being nice.

 

Why is an able-bodied woman entitled to special treatment? Is an adult

 

woman capable of carrying a bag? Is she so feeble she cannot stand?

 

I'm interested: why does being XX rather than XY confer privileges?

 

By the way, I'm all in favour of assisting the disabled, the elderly, and

 

the very young. Of course, if a pensioner boards a bus, they can have

 

my seat.

Edited July 24, 2003 by Bart the Lover

[monkeygirl]

I certainly appreciate "chivalrous" actions, especially because you don't see them very much anymore. In fact, I don't see a guy being "chivalrous" unless he has some kind of alterior motive for doing so. Basically, guys only do it to get in your good graces, not just on the principal of being a gentleman. At least, from what I've seen.

 

As far as female chivalry goes, it couldn't hurt. I try to be considerate of others, and that's all it really takes. If men and women alike could learn to be a little more giving, the world would be a very different place!

[Kirves]

Why is an able-bodied woman entitled to special treatment?

 

It isn't about ability. It is about being nice. About noticing that there's someone else here too. It's like saying, "your hair looks nice". She doesn't need it, it just makes her smile for a second. That's all.

[Bart the Lover]

Kirves:

 

Firstly, sorry if my previous post sounded a little snippy. It's not meant

 

to be.

 

You wrote:

It isn't about ability. It is about being nice. About noticing that there's someone else here too. It's like saying, "your hair looks nice". She doesn't need it, it just makes her smile for a second. That's all.

 

Compliments are great. They make people feel good. Having manners,

 

being respectful, and thinking of others are all desirable things. But why

 

should women enjoy them exclusively? If giving up your seat on the bus

 

(for example) is an act of niceness, why aren't women expected to do it?

 

Shouldn't everyone be bound by civilised behaviour?

 

Regards,

 

Bart the Lover

[chh]

Personally I think the word "chivalry" is the problem here, because it's dragging too many outdated connotations along with it. I absolutely give up bus seats for the pregnant & the elderly, I hold doors open for people (men & women), I do not hit people who are not a threat to me (men or women), and I offer to help carry items when the person (again, man or woman!) looks overloaded. It's just plain good manners.

 

To me, "chivalry" today is when a guy makes a big show of rushing in front of me to get every door. Or when I'm relieved of a bag that a toddler could carry, or when I'm told not to be silly when I get my wallet out when the check comes, or when a guy leaps out of his seat on the subway and looks offended when I don't take it (honestly, I PREFER to stand on buses and trains, and my legs really are capable of holding me up!). Call me an extreme feminist all you want, but there's a line between being polite and performing a pointed demonstration of power and control. And frankly I don't think it's a particularly fine line.

[fireka]

i had a diffrent reason for practicing chivalry, when i did. It wasnt because i thought they were weaker at all, but because i found them superior. Women are the worlds crowned jewels, and i dont mean that form of respect for a sexual reason either. i found them generally superior mentaly, more agile, with higher pain thresholds (youd have to have higher painthersholds for childbirth and menstral cycles and stuff, guys would go insane and start killing themselves, we just cant handle pain, despite what we might like to personify) and of course, they have the ability to bare life. The female body is much more beautful naturaly than the male. again, im not saying that from a guys sexual stand point but any artist could tell you that, guys bodies are clunky and odd, women tend to curve more. And often times they simply have the ability to be more skilled at many things than us guys. So my chivalry was almost a sort of worship you might say (but not to that extrme) i give up my seat because she has earned it. i open doors because they deserve a red carpet i just dont have one handy so i must make due, and id go out of my way to protect a women because im just a sperm cell, im expendable, but we NEED women. at least thats how i felt about it then.