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Posted

i like the bruce lee one thats good :D and the chop strick one

 

L8er :karate:

Trodai Karate, Brown Belt 1nd Kyu


"Belts Are For Holding Your Pants Up" Bruce Lee


"With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"Ben Paker

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Posted

"Nah, it doesn't hurt much" >>

 

"What do you mean 'does it hurt'??? I JUST GOT MY * KICKED!!!"

Tang Soo Do/Tae Kwon Do

....Oh yeah, and unofficially...

KENJUTSU


"There are five possible operations for any army. If you can fight, fight; if you cannot fight, defend; if you cannot defend, flee; if you cannot flee, surrender; if you cannot surrender, die." ~ Sima Yi

  • 7 months later...
Posted

Im going to end up with a permant imprint of a hand on my stomach..

 

In this way you'll be able to say that you really follow the way of the open hand :D

1.st kyu Shotokan Karate

1.st dan Aikido

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Hehe, heres a few good ones:

 

One of my favorite lines to hear from TMA'ers- and here it is:

 

>>>One style is not better than another -- it's the individual that counts.

 

Please don't go to another school.

 

>>>Practice makes perfect.

 

Please sign up again.

 

>>>The martial arts are about building character

 

You'll never be any good, but keep coming anyways

 

>>>Grappling arts are the best.

 

I practice a grappling art.

 

>>>He's a good martial arts teacher.

 

He's in my organization

 

>>>Kata or forms are useless

 

Bruce Lee said forms are useless

 

>>>He doesn't deserve his rank

 

I didn't get promoted as fast as him

 

For the rest of them, visit the Judo Humor Page:

 

http://www.judoinfo.com/humor13.htm

Posted

(A higher grade to a lower grade)"I don't want to spar with you because I don't want to hurt you"

 

--> I'm gonna get my butt kicked if I fight you!!

 

"I think that the spiritual aspects of Martial Arts are more important than being able to kick someone in the head"

 

--> I think that because I can't kick anyone in the head.

 

"Sensei, can you show me that again please?"

 

--> I wanna watch you kick Phil's * for the 70th time, it's funny.

 

(When on a night out with the club) "Sensei, let ME buy you your meal/drinks!"

 

--> The next belt grading is really soon and I wanna pass.

 

"I don't wash my belt for spiritual reasons"

 

--> I'm too lazy to bung it in the washing machine after training.

 

"I like talking about the technical aspects of Karate?TKD/insert martial art here"

 

--> I such sooooo much that I talk far better than I train.

 

"I went to this other club, but I didn't like their attitude to training."

 

-->They were all ten times better than me and whupped my * in my very first session with them.

 

"I tried TKD/BJJ/Karate/Capoeira/insert MA of your choice here, but it wasn't for me."

 

--> It was darned hard and I was too unfit to keep up with the rest of the class.

 

"I think that paying to grade is a very unfair system"

 

--> I failed my last belt test and I want my money back!!

 

(A higher grade to a lower grade) "Yeah, it didn't take me very long to learn that particular kata."

 

--> It took me months to learn and I still haven't got the hang of it now.

 

"I totally agree with what you just said, Sensei."

 

--> I have absolutely no idea what you're on about.

 

"I haven't got time to demonstrate that just now, I'll show you another time."

 

--> I can't do it very well and I want to go home and practice without you watching me!

 

(Just before starting a sparring session) "I'm just going to straighten the mats."

 

--> I'm utterly kn******* and I want a couple of minutes rest.

 

"I think that doing lots of push ups is over-rated"

 

--> If Sensei makes us do another push up tonight I'll cry...

"Was it really worth it? Only time and death may ever tell..." The Beautiful South - The Rose of My Cologne


Sheffield Steelers!

  • 2 months later...
Posted

I always seem to get picked for the knife self defenses, or sleeper holds, or some pressure point or chop to the neck, i think they just wanted to hurt me and knok me out......

 

That's why God created teenage sons. When my master instructor looks my way I poke Ross in the ribs and he gets 'volenteered'. :D

when you create the world's largest trailer park, you're going to have tornadoes

Posted

"That's my new kata? It's actualy very cool!"

 

->That was a kata?! I'm doomed!

 

A Martial artist to a non-Martial artist:

 

"I jus't learned this cool move!"

 

->Think fast!

"My weapon...

...myself"

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

"I don't think I have that combination/form/kempo"

 

-->You gave that to me last week, but I totally forgot it.

 

"Go ahead, try and kick me"

 

-->I'm wearing my cup tonight.

Sensei at end of class: "Does anyone have any questions?"


Student: "Yeah, when do we get to do the slow-mo, mid-air, matrix style moves?"

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