got jokes vol.II

[Icetuete]

its hard for me to overlook the nearls 400 posts of the last "jokes" thread so if anyone knows a good one u may as well post the next 400 here

[CloudDragon]

ok

[Icetuete]

thanks for posting

 

started to feel a littel stupid

[monkeygirl]

I'll repost the rules:

 

1 joke per post, don't post two in a row. And of course, keep it clean

[SaiFightsMS]

There was an old man and an old woman sitting on a bench at a bus stop. The bus was really late and getting later by the minute.

 

The old man looked over at the old woman and said: "I have been sitting here so long my butte has gone to sleep."

 

The old woman replied: "I know I have been hearing it snore."

 

So next time you hear someone pass gas see if you can ask them if thier butte is snoring with a straight face.

[monkeygirl]

Here's one for all of us math geeks:

 

The Square Root of Negative Two (-2) walks into a bar. He's just chillin' and talkin' to the other numbers, but then he sees the Number Three. So, the Square Root of Negative Two approached the Three and asked, "Can I buy you a drink?"

 

So the Three turned to the Square Root of Negative Two and said:

 

"Get real."

[Valithor]

Haha - very good... "unreal" even

[kchenault]

A pastor goes to visit an elderly woman who didn’t make it to church that Sunday to see if everything is all right. It turns out that she was fine. She just overslept that day. She asks him if he would like some coffee while they visit, and he says yes.

 

While she is in the kitchen, getting the coffee, he notices a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table and since he hasn’t had lunch yet he swipes a handful and munches them down. He doesn’t think this will be a problem because she doesn’t see so well. She brings in the drinks and notices she forgot the sugar and cream. So off to the kitchen she goes. Again, the pastor swipes a larger handful and cleans out the bowl of peanuts while she is gone.

 

They share their coffee making small talk to pass the hour. The pastor then gets up to take his leave and asks her if she needs anything or if he can get her anything for his next visit. She then asks him if he would mind picking her up some more peanuts, because she has already sucked all the chocolate off the ones in the bowl on the table.

[Darce]

[Icetuete]

Danny's dad brought him to his first Judo competition. Noting that the organizers seemed a little shorthanded he approached the table.

 

"Hello," he said to the Director, "you look a little shorthanded. Anything I can do to help?"

 

"Well it just so happens we're short a fighter for the under 90 kg division," the director replied.

 

"Sorry," Danny's dad said, "I don't know a thing about Judo."

 

"That's OK" said the director. "We need referees, too."

 

 

 

(no offense meant with this joke )