Fear of Fighting?

[Meiou Ikarino]

This especially applies to Tae Kwon Do, but I'm sure everyone in a MA that spars may have dealt with this at some point in time.

 

Lemme explain a wee bit about my career. I started TKD when I was 15. I worked up to Blue Belt, then quit until just before I turned 19. I restarted (about 6 months ago) worked my butt off for 3 months, then got my purple belt.

 

Several days after attaining this rank, I was sparring a black belt, newly arrived from another area school. The weather was bad, and it was only the two of us, and one of the ladies who handles a lot of the financial stuff. While sparring, he pinned me against a wall. I managed to knock him back, but before I can get him completely off of me he executes a flying side kick (to non-TKDers, he ran about 6 feet, jumped and kicked me). This knocks me down, I strike my arm hard on the floor.

 

After this incident, I went to the hosptial (The way my arm had swolen, it looked broken, but was not). After my arm stopped hurting I realized I had a ton of rib pain, on the left side, where I'd been struck. X-rays revealed I'd torn cartilage between three ribs.

 

The black belt was fired, for unneccessary use of force. (Bah, I didn't mention he was retaliating for me kicking him in the head).

 

Flash forward to today. We have been getting a lot of snow recently, and I just started college, so I haven't really fought since I've been back. We sparred yesterday, and I was too afraid to even move at points.

 

I guess my long winded question is: has anyone ever returned after an injury and just been petrified? And how did you get over it?

 

Meiou

[Looneyas]

Thats a good question,

 

Are you fully healed yet , as that may weigh a bit of factor to your problem, If any thing talk to your instructor as you may need to be just slowly return to sparing.

[monkeygirl]

I have had this happen to me before.

 

Last May, I was sparring in class during a test (I was one of the judges testing a student), and I was fighting a 16-year-old 1st degree brown belt guy. We were going fairly hard, and at some point during the fight, he kicked me (full force) square in my right eye. I didn't lose consciousness, but I fell to the floor immediately. I had to go to the hospital, and for months afterwards I was still having problems and having to see eye doctors. It was a very scary thing...the way he hit me, I could have been blinded or killed, but I got lucky. Today all that remains of the incident is some slight double vision and weird headaches.

 

All in all, it was very frightening. I never thought about quitting, but fighting was definitely an issue. I had to wait a while to heal before I could fight again. I also had to wait for a face cage on my helmet, since I couldn't risk another blow to my eye. Ever. When I finally started fighting again, I hesitated a lot. Every time I saw a back kick coming (the kind of kick that landed me in the hospital), I would flinch and turn away. Even though my face cage protected me, I was scared...it was almost like PTSD.

 

Eventually, I realized how the fear was ruining my fighting. I wasn't fighting in a quality manner: I was just getting beaten up and running away. I decided that I could either: (a) Get over it and fight or (b) stop fighting altogether. Well, the only way I could stop fighting was to quit martial arts, and NO WAY was I going to let that happen.

 

There was no overnight change; I still flinched and winced and freaked out when I fought. But this time, I caught myself doing it. Gradually, I worked the fear out of myself. I had a lot of support from my friends, too...when I fought them, they were understanding and worked with me. Not just "taking it easy", but coaching me and giving me support. My sparring is much the better for it.

 

Once you've healed and gotten over the emotional shock, I'm sure you can do the same too.

[Deven Roads]

I was sparrin a red belt when I was still gold and he nailed me right in the stomach with a side kick. well after that I was quite scared but I learned that you shouldn't back up the person will follow you tell your tired and give up. I found even if your not as good get in there and try literaly jump right in on gaurd and throw a few punches. get used to getting hit and not backing down. If this wasn't sparring I'd tell you something completley different, but for now brace your self to get hurt but give it your all. I did and ended up with 1st place for point spar and second for continuous in an invetational down in TX.

[karatekid1975]

I agree Deven. Good point.

 

When I was an orange belt in TSD, I attended a sparring clinic. I was kicked for force in the gut by another orange belt. It scared me off from sparring for a very long time. I got away with not sparring, except at tests. Eventhough I would "run" when I sparred.

 

When I started TKD, they MADE me spar. So, I just got in there and got used to getting hit. Pretty soon, the fear disappeared. Now they can't stop me hehehehehehe

[ZeRo]

the best way is just to spar and the fear disappears.

 

i used to spar at kickboxing and the guy i sparred with just went full out and i got proper beaten sometimes. as you can imagine i didnt enjoy it most times. but now atTKD its more controlled and i learn more. ive now lost almost all my fear that i had and i enjoy it now.

 

moral of the story, start with light sparring, some thing you can enjoy and work upwards.

[ramymensa]

Meiou ... what you are feeling is natural and with some time it would get OK. I remember (apart from MA) having a car accident (I wasn't driving ... it wasn't that serious I got my head busted a little from breaking the windshield and a knee that hurt). Although it wasn't that serious I got quite a phobia. I don't have a driver's licence and didn't indend getting one. My new boyfriend (Mr.Perfect) made me drive his car and little by little I get over my fears. This spring I'll go for the licence. Still anytime 'm in a car and the driver gets too close to another I turn pale and my heart beats a little faster

 

There are things that take some time and soul wounds that would heal ... ginen a time. Find a person you really trust and work together. Slowly you'll gain some confidence and you'll start enjoying sparring. This is fascinating, but when you get the "wrong" partner it can get messy and you know it better. Sparring depends a lot on the person you are facing

 

I always chose carefully my partners. I don't look for the weak ones, but for those who fight fair and don't use excessive force when not needed. Those who act like machos and live for hurting the others can alway get someone else to work with

[PhilM1]

face your fear head on. its the only way.

[delta1]

Meiou, the guy that did that is a butt! People like him have no place in the martial arts, and most martial artists are not that way. I'm guessing that there are many in your school who would be willing to help you work through this. Start easy and work back into it. And definately talk to your instructor about it. Good luck.

[TKDLadyInSC]

I can only imagine your fear. Fortunately, the students and instructors at my school are very courteous sparrers. That doesn't mean I haven't got my bell rung (sometimes I completely forget about that blocking thing ).

 

As far as what to do now, I think you need to get back in there once you are completely healed. My reasoning for this is we are learning to defend ourselves. If we freeze or clinch up everytime someone punches or kicks at us in the dojang, we will do the same thing on the street. For your own safety, I believe you have to get back up on the horse that threw you.

 

I agree with the schools decision to dismiss the blackbelt. If someone in my school did something like that, the first thing that would probably happen is my instructor would gear up and give the person exactly what they just gave out.

 

In sparring in our school we have guidelines. Higher rank sets the pace and intensity, lower rank sets the contact level. The harder the lower rank hits, the harder they are going to get back. But we don't send each other to the hospital. We are not there to show that I can spar better than you (that's what tournaments are for ). We are there to find out each others strengths and weaknesses and help each other improve on them.