What was the point of it all? Losing my mind

[Revario]

How much of your mental health are you willing to give up for martial arts? Where it is something supposed to bring people together and build communities of like minded people, I have found that it caused more divisions and isolation especially when people have opinions and dont wish to just join to be a mindless follower. 

 

At what point does one decide that Martial Art is costing them too much and isolating them more then it brings joy to their life, is that the moment they should call it quits, or betray themselves and just continue while joining the group and hiding their true feeling? 

 

Idk, at this point I truly wonder WHY do people practice martial arts, I think most people have interest in health benefits and looking at nice forms or competitions and making money via martial arts.

I am highly thinking of quitting all and make my life less stressful and more happy. I dont see a reason to keep hitting my head on a wall of unacceptance. I tried to make something else/ different. It was in vain. 

 

Good continuation to those who choose to keep Martial Arts alive, I dont think I have more to give in that aspect, Ill focus on other areas in my life. 

[Zaine]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Martial arts for me is a solace and I often fall into it deeper when I am struggling with my mental health. I'm deeply saddened to hear that the martial arts community at large, a community that has made me feel so welcome and understood, has made you feel isolated. If you feel comfortable talking about it, I am interested in hearing about your experiences with martial arts. You have posted in the past about not meshing well with the sensei in your dojo who teaches the classes that you are most easily able to attend. Do you think that another dojo might be a better fit for you?

That said, and I want to be clear on my stance, if your mental health is suffering because of your involvement in martial arts, then you need to prioritize your mental health and withdraw from martial arts as a whole. At the end of the day, martial arts is a hobby for most martial artists. If this hobby is having a negative impact on your life, then the only people who would put you down for leaving it behind are people you should not be associating with. Martial arts are optional, and while I love martial arts and wish that everyone would do them, I understand that there are a lot of things that need to be worked on in the broader martial arts community to make it a better, more welcoming place. Take some time away. If you end up getting the itch to come back, find a dojo promotes a culture and community that works for you. If you never feel the itch to return, that's okay too. Again, I'm sorry that your community has let you down and impacted you in a negative way. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

[Revario]

Yes the Sensei, my practice and lack of understanding of it by most other people. And that is probably part of the issue, I dont see it as a hobby. Hence where the main difference in my practice comes in. 

 

As per visiting other schools, I did and was met with worst reactions then where I try to train presently. 

 

I have knowledge of where people who have a similar mindset or way of practicing are, just not physically close to where I am. And since the style of Karate I do is different at the base and adapting those Kata specifically, I am pretty much alone doing what I do, others do it with their own respective style and have managed to make a thing out of it. 

You may be right, either I have to stop trying to bring others to see things in a specific scope or simply let go.

 

Only person I am letting down by removing myself from the Martial Arts is myself, and that makes it complicated... 

[sensei8]

Mental Health is a very serious and personal matter; it should never be taken lightly. 

When it comes to my mental health, the MA is just a thing, it is just a want and not a need, and not worth to affect my mental health.

Before, I wasn’t alone, but nowadays I’m very much alone. What was once alive is now a lonely destitution. The SKKA is dead, our Soke and Dai-Soke are dead, many of my fellow Shindokanists are either dead or gone their own way; only empty chairs surround a once thriving table.

I’m still trying to understand and cope with the fact that what was is no more; not easiest thing to wrap my mind around.

Still, I’m a MAist, now and forever and nothing will change that in me. My mind might be a very lonely thing but my mind is strong. 

Keeping God first before the martial arts keeps my sanity in tact amongst the dark cloud of loneliness.

Edited Monday at 05:12 PM by sensei8

[Furinkazan]

5 hours ago, Revario said:

How much of your mental health are you willing to give up for martial arts? Where it is something supposed to bring people together and build communities of like minded people, I have found that it caused more divisions and isolation especially when people have opinions and dont wish to just join to be a mindless follower. 

At what point does one decide that Martial Art is costing them too much and isolating them more then it brings joy to their life, is that the moment they should call it quits, or betray themselves and just continue while joining the group and hiding their true feeling? 

Idk, at this point I truly wonder WHY do people practice martial arts, I think most people have interest in health benefits and looking at nice forms or competitions and making money via martial arts.

Is this in your dojo, or the MA community at large?  If it's happening in the dojo, then that's on your instructor(s) for failing to maintain a positive training environment.  If it's in the MA community at large, then I would just limit my MA fellowship with my classmates.

5 hours ago, Revario said:

I am highly thinking of quitting all and make my life less stressful and more happy. I dont see a reason to keep hitting my head on a wall of unacceptance. I tried to make something else/ different. It was in vain. 

Good continuation to those who choose to keep Martial Arts alive, I dont think I have more to give in that aspect, Ill focus on other areas in my life. 

Before you quit martial arts, I suggest checking out some other schools in your area if there are any.  You'll find that no two schools have the same environment.  My school has a very peaceful atmosphere, while I've seen others that are run like a military boot camp.  However, this is assuming that your issue is with your school and not the MA community at large.

Edited Monday at 06:32 PM by Furinkazan

[bushido_man96]

On 12/15/2025 at 6:43 AM, Revario said:

How much of your mental health are you willing to give up for martial arts? Where it is something supposed to bring people together and build communities of like minded people, I have found that it caused more divisions and isolation especially when people have opinions and dont wish to just join to be a mindless follower. 

For one, you should not give up any of your mental health.  What kind of divisions and isolation are you speaking about?  What kind of opinions are you bringing, in what kind of settings, etc?  How many years of training do you have, and what rank do you have currently?  By being a mindless follower, are you talking about certain organizations, or organizations as a whole?

On a side note, have you seen how many different MA organizations are out there?  Division is kind of a thing in the Martial Arts, for better or worse.

On 12/15/2025 at 6:43 AM, Revario said:

At what point does one decide that Martial Art is costing them too much and isolating them more then it brings joy to their life, is that the moment they should call it quits, or betray themselves and just continue while joining the group and hiding their true feeling? 

I would say this; if you enjoy training, keep training.  That's what I do.  I'm splitting time in three different styles right now, each very different from the other, and I am enjoying it very much.  I always see things that I don't necessarily agree with, but I don't bang my head against a wall to get someone to agree with my point-of-view.  I take in what they say, work with it, play with it, decide if I like that aspect or not, and if not, I'll move on.  If it happens to be something that's a testing requirement, so be it.  It's just another thing.

If you derive no joy out of it at all, then you should either stop doing it, or approach it like something that is necessary, like taking your medicine (if it is that important or you believe that it is so necessary for self-defense or something like that).

On 12/15/2025 at 6:43 AM, Revario said:

Idk, at this point I truly wonder WHY do people practice martial arts, I think most people have interest in health benefits and looking at nice forms or competitions and making money via martial arts.

For me, it was first and foremost to learn how to defend myself.  As I've spent more time in the Martial Arts, I've learned that there is so much more to go along with it.  I enjoy the physical challenge, the technical challenges, the camaraderie built between training partners, the community of a school, things like that.  If you can make money doing what you love, then power to you.  Something like if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life...

 

On 12/15/2025 at 6:43 AM, Revario said:

I am highly thinking of quitting all and make my life less stressful and more happy. I dont see a reason to keep hitting my head on a wall of unacceptance. I tried to make something else/ different. It was in vain. 

 

Good continuation to those who choose to keep Martial Arts alive, I dont think I have more to give in that aspect, Ill focus on other areas in my life. 

So, speak to us about this.  I'll propose these questions to you:

What did you try to make that was different?

What was your approach?

Your thoughts on why it had to be different?

What did you not like about what you were doing?

How much experience did you have before you decided things needed to be different?

Did you approach others with your thoughts on it, and if so, what was their reaction?

Now, I will advise that answering these questions will bring about more conversation on the subject, and to be prepared for all spectrum of replies, as everyone has different experiences.  But I think it can lead to a good conversation and help to flesh out your concerns more.  I'd love to see this conversation open up.  I'd love to see you continue you Martial Arts journey.

[Revario]

I will offer you a long form version of a personal introduction in regards to my Martial Path. I expect lots of judgement as it as been the usual way I am receieved. As hard as it is to introduce oneself experience and vision of Martial Art in words as action speaks louder, here we go:

I have started my martial arts path relatively young, I was 6 years old ( I am 40 now) when I took my first class in Chito-Kan in the village (more of a city by now) I was living. I learned much later it was a mix of Chito Ryu, Shotokan and Jeet Kun Do… I stayed there for a good 6 years and made it to First Kyu (altough I never really showed up after passing the exam to even pick up the belt). I, at the time, took a break to waste my early teenage years. Within 3 years (by the time I was 15) I got back into it within the form of Kung Fu with a group which was doing Fang Shen Do at that time. I did not like my experience with that art. The way of practicing was very different than what I was used to and how it translated to combat made little to no sense to me. I stayed for about a summer. 

I again came back to Martial Arts in my early 20s, this time with the newest form of combat which the called Krav Maga, Oh was that different. Their way of thinking, training and combat were all things I had never seen before. It was like I walked into a dream. All the things I was looking for were there. A major focus on self defense, lots of practice with opponents that are not cooperative but resist and challenge your tactic. Learning based on principles not specific techniques in a sequence. Lots of hard sparring and testing of skills. Not a fan of the weapon stuff but nevertheless, interesting to explore and realise the existence of it. All in all, Krav Maga was a true eye opener for me in the way martial arts are meant to be practiced. I have to admit that the place I trained was blessed with the perfect mix of a teacher that was extremely technical (I know I am contradicting previous statements) in his approach in the sense that he wished to see proper body movement and body mechanics not just punch kick for the sake of punch kick. It also had a few other students around the same age as I am (was back then) and had similar interest to test themselves a lot in their practice. Sparring and live testing of skills was mandatory and something we all actually wanted to do and try. This resulted in some of the most effective lessons in Martial Arts I have had the opportunity to have. 

I highly understand how Krav Maga gets a bad name however as this seems to be very far from the experience most have with that form of self defense… Unfortunately.

This also eventually came to an end but for different reasons. I saw something in Krav Maga that brought me back to my true nature and practice : Karate. 

I took again another break from training in classes and went back to the ‘’lab’’ and started doing deep research into Karate, its historicity, the way it is practiced, the way it was practiced, the way it was meant to practice. I did research on self defense in a psychological as well as social perspective. Studied the law and criminology in the aspect of violent acts, how they arise, how humans respond to it, how the psychology of the brain works in such situations, from the perpetrator, to the victim, to a responder or a bystander’s point of view. I wanted to have a full perspective and understand of martial arts, why I trained and what I trained into as well as how. 

What and how things have been lost in between then and now. Many things can be said as per the how, whether it is the popularisation of it in Japan by Funakoshi Ginchin, the changes of the times, the exposition to Western boxing by Japanese people, the differences of interpretation between Okinawa and Japan, the political reasons, the choice of reaching more people and making it a national ‘’sport’’ etc… 

The way it is now  mostly practiced, Karate appears to be separated by the 3 big Ks (Kihon, Kata, Kumite). We can see it in competitions as well as how each components is practiced. Kumite is practiced at a long range distance as this is where people bow in competition. This is again reflected in the way most practice their combat for Karate, a practice for competition. Kata is focused on forms and how entertaining/ exciting/ flashy one can be with their Kata. The focus is on the appearance of it as a spectacle akin to a dance performance. Kihon are similar to Kata in the sense that they are performed for the form of it which may or may not lead to Kumite drills. The self defense component is simply unrealistic movements pulled from Kata. Usually very intricate and fine motor skills movements in a specific sequence.

The way it is meant to be practiced, which is as a self defense art in and of itself, relates and mixes the 3 big Ks. Kihon is the base of everything, Kata are specific sequences of self defence, and I stress self defense especially when it comes to range; that are to be used in Kumite. Using movements of Kata for actual defense and combat is Karate. When I refered to range, self defense does not start at the same distance that competition does, it is way closer and more relentless.  

What I saw of Karate when practicing Krav Maga was actually this. I saw true Karate in Krav Maga. What is called the 360 defence in Krav Maga is a Age Uke with Oi Zuki at the same time. And I say Oi even tough it may appear as a Gyaku because the focus and motion is in the lunging forward in the action. Voila! Seems in some aspect, Krav Maga understood how Karate was meant to be practiced.  

Whatever they did understand they did lack many other aspects of Karate which makes Karate a unique Art.

With that new mentality and focus, I came back to Karate with a very different way of seeing things and practicing it. My practice is steeped in self defense. I would say it is a pleonasm to say Karate based in practical self defense as to me this is what defines Karate. And when practiced in this way, I firmly believe that it is by far the most brutal and effective method of self defense. The movements in Kata when properly understood at the right range are devastating. 

 

I, being a simple man, have decided to choose Kata that were quite easy to understand and go trought for my personal style/practice. Some may see it as limiting, I would agree. But this is a choice, some choose to practice all 94 Kata for the sake of historicity and be a literal living encyclopedia of Karate knowledge. I can only commend and appreciate those people,  people like me sure need them. I chose to go the complete other way. 6 Kata is well enough for a practice based specifically in self defense. I still find it preferable to practice 1 kick 100 times then 100 kicks 1 time if we are talking efficiency only. My choice on focusing on a few Kata and the basics allows me to be quite proficient with those and have a full understanding of the intricacies with those specific options. 

I have decided to choose the style of Chito Ryu as the base of my style as their Kata choice is quite specific and concise. It is said to be one of the 2 styles that has direct lineage with Aragaki Seisho, the other being Goju Ryu. The similarities with Goju is more often found in certain aspects of the Kata, the regular practice however is quite different in it’s interpretation. The style is practiced like most other styles in the world nowadays, the way I dislike, but I have the opportunity of having found someone who can teach me what I want out of the style and seem to understand that and  what I want to do with my practice and does not waste time on matters that are not self defense or combat related. I ran into too many schools where my views and understanding of Karate was simply intimitading instructors. Perhaps it is my seriousness about the subject and the fact that most students do it as hobby, they could do Karate, Mountain Climbing or scrapbooking it would make no difference it just passes time. 

 

I indeed take it more seriously. Self defense is pretty defined in intself. I don’t see it as a hobby or something to entertain myself but as a way of life. Perhaps that is what is meant when we say Karate-Do.  However, I cannot stress this enough, if one practices Jutsu  as seriously as it is meant to be, it will naturally become a way of life and nothing more. 

 

My interpretation of Karate is a no nonsense Karate steeped in Self Defense. This is what I do and represent. I train Kata specifically for self defense and drill accordingly. I spar hard with good protection and sparring is very scenario and self defense based, not sport oriented. The attacker is never attacking with a Karate attack that remains in the air for 2 seconds… I train my bodies according to self defense as well, hardening of the weapons (all striking surfaces) while also stretching the joints. Stress good eating habits and being  in optimal well being 100% of the time. Because yes, even ones mental state has an effect on how well one can or want to defend themselves whether it is voluntairy or not.  Which is why I truly wonder if I should persist to try to "convince" others.

 

As brief as this can be as an introduction, I hope this gives you an idea of who I am and aspire to promote as a Martial Artist

My approach towards it when visiting schools or even when I initially wished to introduce these concept at the Dojo I frequent is probably not the best as I am not the most social person. I am naturally reserved  so either I say nothing and watch confused or ask leading questions as I know where I wish to take the conversation, I had interrupted as well but learned it is simpler and better to stay silent as to not insult anyone and address questions or clarifications in private as my goal is never to disrespect the school that welcomes me. My issue definitely resides in the social aspect of sharing without scaring or making people in organisation feel lesser then based on my lack of high rank but understanding of concept some claim are only hidden until 5th degree Black Belt (Its an eggageration but I think we all know org or groups like that)

I have been told too often to just go do MMA or more competitive combat sport, that is not what I am looking for, I simply wish to bring the proper spirit to Traditional Martial Arts.

I have a small community of Martial Artist (from various traditional Martial Arts) in my area who have similar goals and vision in regards to their art, we train on a weekly basis and that is amazing. Clearly I am not alone in this approach.

What is disheartening is the lack of reciprocity and openness in the Karate community specifically where I am. 

 

Either I need to move where what I do is interesting to the world who surrounds me or keep practicing in silence/ never train the way I wish at the Dojo. Reason why I think of quitting is whenever I don't deal with that, think about it, try to make it work in the sense that people get it/ see the worth of what is being done and the reasoning behind it, I am overall more calm and relaxed (but feel I am wasting time in regards to do all the things previously mentionned). It's like letting it all go is a big stress and pressure off my shoulders. 

And there is the final option of simply practicing for myself and leave the rest of the world (even if I need them) be and go for complete isolation. No reason to try to share something with someone who doesn't want it so silence may be best...

 

So if that can sum it up, that is pretty much where I am, I don't want to, but quitting might be best for everyone else and maybe me too.

[bushido_man96]

Thanks for the run-down.  It's great to read.  I do have a few things to offer.

For one, you really aren't saying anything new here.  There are people training out there that feel the same way.  As you mentioned, you do have a small group of like-minded individuals training with you, and you find great enjoyment in that.  I'd cling to that, and keep training otherwise just to keep training and learning.  Keep an open mind; you might not like everything an instructor teaches, but he may teach something that you do like, and that can make the whole experience worthwhile.

I've done Krav Maga training in the police combatives setting a few times.  I found the training quite valuable, however, I'm not sure I'd want to train that way all the time.  It's quite taxing on the body, but it is very beneficial training.  However, we did not do any sparring in those settings, which I'm sure would be very different, and very beneficial.

3 hours ago, Revario said:

The way it is meant to be practiced, which is as a self defense art in and of itself, relates and mixes the 3 big Ks. Kihon is the base of everything, Kata are specific sequences of self defence, and I stress self defense especially when it comes to range; that are to be used in Kumite. Using movements of Kata for actual defense and combat is Karate. When I refered to range, self defense does not start at the same distance that competition does, it is way closer and more relentless. 

Have you had the opportunity to attend any of Iain Abernethey's seminars?  It sounds to me like that kind of training approach would be right up your alley.  If he ever comes close to my area, I'd like to attend one, even though I'm not even a Karate practitioner.

 

3 hours ago, Revario said:

I took again another break from training in classes and went back to the ‘’lab’’ and started doing deep research into Karate, its historicity, the way it is practiced, the way it was practiced, the way it was meant to practice. I did research on self defense in a psychological as well as social perspective. Studied the law and criminology in the aspect of violent acts, how they arise, how humans respond to it, how the psychology of the brain works in such situations, from the perpetrator, to the victim, to a responder or a bystander’s point of view. I wanted to have a full perspective and understand of martial arts, why I trained and what I trained into as well as how. 

You should look into Blauer Tactical Systems.  Tony Blauer has spent years looking into the psychology of fear and fear management, and the physiology of self-defense.  He's mainly in the Law Enforcement/Military circles, teaching defensive tactics, but his organization does have some general public offerings, like his "Be Your Own Bodyguard" seminars.

3 hours ago, Revario said:

Either I need to move where what I do is interesting to the world who surrounds me or keep practicing in silence/ never train the way I wish at the Dojo. Reason why I think of quitting is whenever I don't deal with that, think about it, try to make it work in the sense that people get it/ see the worth of what is being done and the reasoning behind it, I am overall more calm and relaxed (but feel I am wasting time in regards to do all the things previously mentionned). It's like letting it all go is a big stress and pressure off my shoulders. 

You could move, that's an option.  However, I don't think you'll necessarily find more interest by moving.  What I would recommend is to keep training in the style you mentioned you chose, gain more rank, and then strike out on your own.  Having some certified rank behind you will go a long way in lending you some credibility in establishing your own dojo.  In the meantime, build your curriculum, write up handbook on it, and make a plan for delivering your system.

Now, I would also mention this:  you've mentioned that you have a small group of like-minded individuals you train with, and I'm just guessing that is a pretty small group.  It's highly likely that you'll be appealing to a very limited group of people, so it could be likely that you never have more than a handful of students at any time.  And that's ok.  But if you find that you lose students due to your approach, you may consider some training options for those seeking a different experience.  If you don't care about that, and you only wish to train others the way you want to train, just realize it may limit the students that come to you for training.

4 hours ago, Revario said:

And there is the final option of simply practicing for myself and leave the rest of the world (even if I need them) be and go for complete isolation. No reason to try to share something with someone who doesn't want it so silence may be best...

 

So if that can sum it up, that is pretty much where I am, I don't want to, but quitting might be best for everyone else and maybe me too.

This sounds a bit extreme.  If you truly enjoy training, keep it going.  If it bothers you so much that others don't want to do it your way, then I guess you'd have no choice but to quit to save yourself the mental anguish.  I could have quit training at my TKD school some time ago because of several things I don't like about the training approaches, teaching to the tests, curriculum additions, and because we don't always approach things from my point of view.  But if I do that, then I wouldn't get the opportunity to present things my way when I have the opportunity to teach.  I'd rather bide my time and work my things in when I can.  And by continuing to train, I stay in the loop and find new and different opportunities to improve myself or learn something new.  I also realize that not everyone wants to train the way I train, and not everyone seeks out the same goals in training that I do.  And I'm ok with that.  I'm not going to pound the table to those who don't believe or want to do things my way.  Instead of pounding the table, I'll sit at the table, take notes, write up articles, concepts, and syllabi, and move myself forward on my journey in the Martial Arts.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.  I hope this helps you out.

[Revario]

First and foremost thank you for taking the time to answer and follow up.

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 Have you had the opportunity to attend any of Iain Abernethey's seminars? 

I wish! That would be an amazing time indeed. Him and a few others do practice in a very practical manner. I know of a few in Canada just not in proximity.

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You should look into Blauer Tactical Systems.

Oh yes absolutely, this man has been a great inspiration.

 

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In the meantime, build your curriculum, write up handbook on it, and make a plan for delivering your system.

I have worked on 2 of those 3 parts. System delivery is not something I am strong in in the sense of marketing or promotion. A curriculum as well as a handbook have been completed relatively recently. 

 

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Now, I would also mention this:  you've mentioned that you have a small group of like-minded individuals you train with, and I'm just guessing that is a pretty small group.  It's highly likely that you'll be appealing to a very limited group of people, so it could be likely that you never have more than a handful of students at any time.  And that's ok. 

You are absolutely correct, not many have an interest in training that way as Traditional Martial Artists. I am not worried about ever having many students as I prefer the few who are dedicated then the many who come and go and take it as a form of "entertainement". Training with them is great especially as they come from different Arts and it allows for interesting exchange of techniques and surprises. Knowing in advance how one will respond ruins the spontaneity so I absolutely like to exchange with others.

 

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I'd rather bide my time and work my things in when I can.

That is where I honestly have an issue. I disagree with about 80% of how general classes are done. This is the part that is causing me anguish as I know I should and it would be the normal/moral thing to do but since so much of the time is spent on things I honestly and sincerely do not agree with but bite my tongue and say nothing out of respect is more then what is good out of it. 

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I'm not going to pound the table to those who don't believe or want to do things my way.  Instead of pounding the table, I'll sit at the table, take notes, write up articles, concepts, and syllabi, and move myself forward on my journey in the Martial Arts.

I recognise myself doing exactly that. As much as I work on my on Way, I seem to want to not be alone in that. Whether it is my peers or instructors at Dojo, I do wish for them to see things my way. It would be dishonest to say I would not like that, it would be amazing to have many people who study the same as I do and can relate in the same way that I do. I think it is part of the human experience to be with people who share similar experiences as ourselves and be able to exchange with them. ( A bit like the goal of this forum as well as all online or even real life communities).  I realise I am asking for the impossible and things outside of my control and that is part of the issue. 

Continuing to train solo and keep doing what I do is great, I am just at a point where I wonder if it is worth it. Isn't the human experience something meant to be shared; I feel the more I keep training the more I isolate myself. Either physically (by training alone) or mentally (by being in a class but not agreeing in silence and not sharing my perspective, just going through the motions). 

 

I would want to keep training and doing what I do, I just have to not give up, believe in myself and know it will all come to fruition at a certain point. The meantime is the rough depressing part however, I sure would be happy to find a way that it is a lot less.  Again, Thank you very much for your advice and help on this matter.