What was the point of it all? Losing my mind

[Revario]

How much of your mental health are you willing to give up for martial arts? Where it is something supposed to bring people together and build communities of like minded people, I have found that it caused more divisions and isolation especially when people have opinions and dont wish to just join to be a mindless follower. 

 

At what point does one decide that Martial Art is costing them too much and isolating them more then it brings joy to their life, is that the moment they should call it quits, or betray themselves and just continue while joining the group and hiding their true feeling? 

 

Idk, at this point I truly wonder WHY do people practice martial arts, I think most people have interest in health benefits and looking at nice forms or competitions and making money via martial arts.

I am highly thinking of quitting all and make my life less stressful and more happy. I dont see a reason to keep hitting my head on a wall of unacceptance. I tried to make something else/ different. It was in vain. 

 

Good continuation to those who choose to keep Martial Arts alive, I dont think I have more to give in that aspect, Ill focus on other areas in my life. 

[Zaine]

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Martial arts for me is a solace and I often fall into it deeper when I am struggling with my mental health. I'm deeply saddened to hear that the martial arts community at large, a community that has made me feel so welcome and understood, has made you feel isolated. If you feel comfortable talking about it, I am interested in hearing about your experiences with martial arts. You have posted in the past about not meshing well with the sensei in your dojo who teaches the classes that you are most easily able to attend. Do you think that another dojo might be a better fit for you?

That said, and I want to be clear on my stance, if your mental health is suffering because of your involvement in martial arts, then you need to prioritize your mental health and withdraw from martial arts as a whole. At the end of the day, martial arts is a hobby for most martial artists. If this hobby is having a negative impact on your life, then the only people who would put you down for leaving it behind are people you should not be associating with. Martial arts are optional, and while I love martial arts and wish that everyone would do them, I understand that there are a lot of things that need to be worked on in the broader martial arts community to make it a better, more welcoming place. Take some time away. If you end up getting the itch to come back, find a dojo promotes a culture and community that works for you. If you never feel the itch to return, that's okay too. Again, I'm sorry that your community has let you down and impacted you in a negative way. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

[Revario]

Yes the Sensei, my practice and lack of understanding of it by most other people. And that is probably part of the issue, I dont see it as a hobby. Hence where the main difference in my practice comes in. 

 

As per visiting other schools, I did and was met with worst reactions then where I try to train presently. 

 

I have knowledge of where people who have a similar mindset or way of practicing are, just not physically close to where I am. And since the style of Karate I do is different at the base and adapting those Kata specifically, I am pretty much alone doing what I do, others do it with their own respective style and have managed to make a thing out of it. 

You may be right, either I have to stop trying to bring others to see things in a specific scope or simply let go.

 

Only person I am letting down by removing myself from the Martial Arts is myself, and that makes it complicated... 

[sensei8]

Mental Health is a very serious and personal matter; it should never be taken lightly. 

When it comes to my mental health, the MA is just a thing, it is just a want and not a need, and not worth to affect my mental health.

Before, I wasn’t alone, but nowadays I’m very much alone. What was once alive is now a lonely destitution. The SKKA is dead, our Soke and Dai-Soke are dead, many of my fellow Shindokanists are either dead or gone their own way; only empty chairs surround a once thriving table.

I’m still trying to understand and cope with the fact that what was is no more; not easiest thing to wrap my mind around.

Still, I’m a MAist, now and forever and nothing will change that in me. My mind might be a very lonely thing but my mind is strong. 

Keeping God first before the martial arts keeps my sanity in tact amongst the dark cloud of loneliness.

Edited 4 hours ago by sensei8

[Furinkazan]

5 hours ago, Revario said:

How much of your mental health are you willing to give up for martial arts? Where it is something supposed to bring people together and build communities of like minded people, I have found that it caused more divisions and isolation especially when people have opinions and dont wish to just join to be a mindless follower. 

At what point does one decide that Martial Art is costing them too much and isolating them more then it brings joy to their life, is that the moment they should call it quits, or betray themselves and just continue while joining the group and hiding their true feeling? 

Idk, at this point I truly wonder WHY do people practice martial arts, I think most people have interest in health benefits and looking at nice forms or competitions and making money via martial arts.

Is this in your dojo, or the MA community at large?  If it's happening in the dojo, then that's on your instructor(s) for failing to maintain a positive training environment.  If it's in the MA community at large, then I would just limit my MA fellowship with my classmates.

5 hours ago, Revario said:

I am highly thinking of quitting all and make my life less stressful and more happy. I dont see a reason to keep hitting my head on a wall of unacceptance. I tried to make something else/ different. It was in vain. 

Good continuation to those who choose to keep Martial Arts alive, I dont think I have more to give in that aspect, Ill focus on other areas in my life. 

Before you quit martial arts, I suggest checking out some other schools in your area if there are any.  You'll find that no two schools have the same environment.  My school has a very peaceful atmosphere, while I've seen others that are run like a military boot camp.  However, this is assuming that your issue is with your school and not the MA community at large.

Edited 2 hours ago by Furinkazan