My Body Wants To…But…

[sensei8]

My Karate is in my heart…My Karate is in my mind…But my Karate is no longer in my body.

What good am I as a martial artist or as a karateka if my body has some serious limitations due to medical conditions?!?

My prostate cancer greatly affected my spine at my T12 and L4. Yes, my cancer is in remission, Praise God, unfortunately the damage has been done. Due to the damage to my spine, I can’t stand very long, a minute at the most, nor can I walk very long, a few feet, at best.

Being a martial artist is all that I’ve ever been for 6 decades…the only thing that I ever loved…the only thing that I was ever good at.

Now, because of my wrecked spine, I'm no longer effective on the floor, wherever that floor might be at. My students have always been everything to me!!

“Martial arts is not just about physical strength; it’s about mental and emotional strength as well.” – Unknown

Those aren’t just some idle words to me because I believe in them. Nowadays, I deeply struggle with those words daily despite what others have encouraged me on.

My martial arts, my Karate-do, has been ripped away from me unceremoniously and it’s very difficult for me to cope with that fact.

Edited Wednesday at 04:44 AM by sensei8

[Nidan Melbourne]

Thank you for sharing! It is obviously difficult for you to manage those feelings of having something that formed a big part of your identity ripped away from you. And that there is not much that you can do about it. 

But I challenge you with these questions - HOW is karate no longer in your body (you can't say due to injury or illness)? How is it different to say the you that is an Educated Person? How is it different to you as a person of Faith? 

Yes you can mourn the loss of one thing that is going to impact you for the long term, but consider these aswell. 

- Can I exercise? 

Yes, in a Pool 

       Safer; less impact on your back, doesn't require you to stand (assistance getting in/out required), improves overall health. 

- Can I change how I teach? 

Yes, even though sitting I can teach. 

Teach the people below me what I want and what I do that others don't 

- Can I teach a whole NEW group of people?

Yes, those with physical disabilities or handicaps (i.e. wheelchair users)

increases socialisation and increase opportunities for growth and understanding. 

- Can I continue being a part of the community I love? 

Of course I can, I might not be able to do it the same way as everyone else but I am me! 

 

Something that a friend of mine said to me last year; when I had to step away from the Teaching and Training in Class due to my legal situation. They said the following. 

Quote

No Matter what has been taken away from you; through medical, financial, or something stupid you had done. You are still that person, how you go about sharing that knowledge and wisdom is up to you. 

I know that you are the type of person that would rather demonstrate and verbally communicate WHAT you want them to do. But sometimes where you are unable to do something for the short/long term or permanently, you can still talk and have a trusted person demonstrate. 

We say this to athletes all the time when they're injured; coming and watching training or even their matches does more for their observational learning than skipping those sessions. 

2 hours ago, sensei8 said:

Praise God, unfortunately the damage has been done. Due to the damage to my spine, I can’t stand very long, a minute at the most, nor can I walk very long, a few feet, at best.

Damage yes! 

Is this the end of your MA Journey? 

That is a Big Fat No!!

Is this an opportunity? 

YES

2 hours ago, sensei8 said:

Those aren’t just some idle words to me because I believe in them. Nowadays, I deeply struggle with those words daily despite what others have encouraged me on.

I do believe that you believe in the words that you had said. 

Struggle is good; but sometimes you are forced to slow down and either re-evaluate things or PIVOT and change that perspective. 

 

2 hours ago, sensei8 said:

My students have always been everything to me!!

You are also everything to them! 

Stepping away does them no good

 

2 hours ago, sensei8 said:

My martial arts, my Karate-do, has been ripped away from me unceremoniously and it’s very difficult for me to cope with that fact.

I disagree, it hasn't been ripped away from you unceremoniously. 

To me with the greatest of respect; you stepped away or put up excuses to WHY you can't do what you want in the way you had done for the last 60 years. 

You are on a new journey, laid out by your current health and faith. 

Re-evaluate and move forwards. 

 

After all of that; you need to look at what Karate has really taught you and share that knowledge. 

When I stepped away, I had to start writing down everything I learnt and that I remember.  Not only did I write it; but where I can I film it.

 

[crash]

Nidan Melbourne, said it well in the above post. i am now pushing 60 in a few months. not long ago i was talking with a friend and we were reflecting on the past when we were in our prime...lol... on the verge of greatness...haha.... he was a body builder with many wins under his belt, I, a martial artist.. we both come from a wrestling background and in one way or the other always spent much time in some sort of gym, dojo, etc.... for the comradery, brotherhood, etc... anyways, as we talked and admitted we arent the same as we once were, we came to the conclusion its not ove,r its just time to step back and help the future generations. to teach and guide.... i know that is what you and many of us have done through the years, but its not over yet... there is always a way to pass on the knowledge we have gained. the experience, the stories, the trials we went through and the training we can give that has been forgotten or pushed aside.... we will always have something to give and teach to the upcoming generations... there will always be a place we can fill. and a way to do so..... it may not always be easy or how we envisioned it but it will be there if we want it...  

[Nidan Melbourne]

So to add onto what I said and what @crash contributed. 

I spoke to a few friends who have mentors in the MA Community here. The instructors are all 80+ yrs old, and are 7/8th Dan's in their respective styles. 

Each went through something similar. Due to health, they are unable to stand or demonstrate a lot of things these days. 

One (immigrated to Aus from the US after the Vietnam War) developed Severe PTSD, was missing a few fingers/toes here and there. 

When I spoke to him, the biggest challenge wasn't the physical recovery from losing some toes and fingers. It was in reality his Mind that was the hardest thing to start healing (as much as you can). 

He couldn't stand the noise of the Kiai from even the quietest student. Which caused massive traumatic episodes. 

Fortunately his students loved him that much. Especially the ones that were taught by him prior to his military service. That they didn't let him retreat from the memories and trauma. 

What they did was create a little group (like AA) but only for vets who are still facing their demons. 

They worked together like a unit to overcome these issues. Yes they still have episodes here and there, but they are smaller and easier to manage. 

Some of those Men and Women were in Wheelchairs. Due to missing limbs or spinal issues. 

One of the things they did was learning to master their breathing and how to visualise their happy place where they feel they can be their best version of themselves. 

These people weren't just vets at the time, they are black belts. Each time they assessed even if differently to others, the hard work they put in helped their training. 

Now if you can't train: you teach. You can still talk, you still have your mind, the experience and ability to teach the next generation.  

Yes you might be unable to do parts of the job. But you can find ways around it. 

[KarateKen]

Sorry to hear the news @sensei8.  That day comes for all of us.  Look at it this way, you got to do what you loved for sixty years, much longer than most get to have.  Whether you are on or off the mat, you still have a home with us here at KarateForums.com