It's wrong for men to hit women

[DWx]

"It's wrong for men to hit women"

True or False? How do we all feel about the above statement?

How do you accommodate or deal with students who come into your dojo with this opinion?

[singularity6]

It's wrong for one person to strike another out of anger, in general.

Sparring in class - men and women hit each other all the time in our school!

Self-defense - The use of an appropriate amount of force to stop someone who's trying to harm you is cool, in my book. That being said, it doesn't necessarily need to be a strike, as take-downs work pretty well!

[Spartacus Maximus]

This concept is in the same category as the cultural construct which states that “nice girls” or “ladies” must always be mild and never too assertive or aggressive in their ways with others.

In reality it is more complicated than that. Too many people misunderstand these and develop cultural and social obstacles which inhibit natural reactions. The first thing one must comprehend and accept is that there are certain circumstances where social and cultural rules must be overridden or broken.

In addition, said rules might or might not be followed by everyone one encounters. It is foolish to assume these rules apply to everyone, everywhere at anytime. You may be a civilized gentleman or a refined lady but you might be facing a raging savage who shares none of your ideals. There maybe no other solution than violence.

When training with the intent of defense, one of the most important things to learn is to never ever underestimate an attacker for any reason. A skilled woman can defeat a lesser skilled man and beginners of either sex can do something unexpected.

[JR 137]

How do you accommodate or deal with students who come into your dojo with this opinion?

I say you deal with those students the same way you deal with every other student - this is what we do and how we do it; if it’s not for you, we completely understand. Have a nice day and the best of luck on finding what it is you’re looking for.

Dojos shouldn’t cater to every demand every potential and current student has. This demand is no different, and it’s not a minor change that could make the dojo or art better.

As for men hitting women... gulp... there’s a time and place for everything. Sparring/competing is one thing, aggression is another thing. I’ve never hit a woman outside of sparring, and I don’t foresee myself ever doing it. If a woman came at me with a serious weapon and intent to use it, such as a knife or bat, I’d defend myself as I would if a man did the same. If I could restrain a physically aggressive woman towards me, I would. If I or someone I care about was facing serious and realistic harm from a woman and restraint wouldn’t work, then I’d defend myself and/or the others accordingly.

There’s too many “what ifs” to make a blanket statement. The only acceptable blanket statement I can make is use common sense. Although I question why it’s called common sense, when it seems so uncommon more and more often.

[CDraper]

It depends. I was always taught to never hit a woman. When i started taking martial arts I also found this can be unfair to women. I'd never try to hit and hurt one of my fellow students be them male or female but I will now hit a women in context of class (sparring, self defense practice stuff). They are there to learn like the rest of us and am happy to treat them appropriately. Matter of fact when doing self defense I encourage them to really apply what they learn, I'd rather have a few extra bruises in class and have a classmate better prepared to defend themselves if the need arises. My 0.02.

[sensei8]

"It's wrong for men to hit women"

True or False? How do we all feel about the above statement?

How do you accommodate or deal with students who come into your dojo with this opinion?

No it's not!! Whenever another human being hits another human being with the intent of doing harm unto another human being, no matter the gender; all's fair in love and war!! It's not the gender that stands before me, but it's the person that stands before me; that's whom I must deal with in a manner of total resolve, no matter the gender.

I don't accommodate or deal with students who come into my dojo with this opinion. Kumite is vitally important to Shindokan. If a student refuses to Kumite for whatever the reason(s), then that student needs to find another dojo asap!! Contact is inevitable in the MA, and most especially, with Shindokan. However, our contact is measured, and we do not tolerate any student being insubordinate with the rules of my dojo.

Don't want to hit a women, and I respect that mindset, but unfortunately, a male student is going to hit a woman student sooner or later; again, our contact is measured!!

[Nidan Melbourne]

I had someone come in recently with this opinion, and I asked them “How does that phrase incorporate with equality?”. As I am an advocate for an even playing field.

As I dislike it how some women say that a man can’t hit a woman. But it is somehow ok for a woman to hit a man. As to me that is an unequal playing field.

I was raised to respect the person, not just women or men. And that it is wrong to hit another person in an emotional state.

But if say a woman hits me, i will defend myself accordingly regardless of the fact I had to hit a woman. But prior to that I always try and defuse.

[Spartacus Maximus]

The biggest difficulty with the initial statement is that there will be some people will interpret it as an absolute. This completely ignores the reality that there will be certain circumstances in which striking is not only acceptable, but the only viable choice.

[MatsuShinshii]

Well yes and no. I was always taught that it was wrong to hit a lady. To this day I have never raised my hand to a lady or for that matter a woman.

If a woman comes at me empty handed then I will walk away or control her until she calms down. I hate to say it but if a woman comes at me with a weapon she'll be coughing up teach for a week. The way I see it is if a woman wants to act like a punk then she needs to be ready to accept the consequences of being a punk just like any man.

In training however... everything goes out the window. I believe in contact. Contact is a great teacher. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the men get to wail on female students. What is good for one gender is good for another. In fact I see no gender in a Dojo.

If someone, no matter the gender, color, race, religion, creed, etc. wants special treatment they need to look elsewhere. I hold everyone to the same standards I hold myself. Once you enter the Dojo floor you are the same as anyone else.

To be honest, I think some instructors do women a disservice by going easy. Who needs to know how to defend themselves against a larger opponent more, a man or a woman? Who is more likely to be attacked?

If anything I'm tougher on women because they need to learn these skills and understand how to deal with what will happen and how to deal with it.

In the Dojo, leave your gender and every other hang up at the door. They're not welcome.

[JR 137]

Well yes and no. I was always taught that it was wrong to hit a lady. To this day I have never raised my hand to a lady or for that matter a woman.

If a woman comes at me empty handed then I will walk away or control her until she calms down. I hate to say it but if a woman comes at me with a weapon she'll be coughing up teach for a week. The way I see it is if a woman wants to act like a punk then she needs to be ready to accept the consequences of being a punk just like any man.

In training however... everything goes out the window. I believe in contact. Contact is a great teacher. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the men get to wail on female students. What is good for one gender is good for another. In fact I see no gender in a Dojo.

If someone, no matter the gender, color, race, religion, creed, etc. wants special treatment they need to look elsewhere. I hold everyone to the same standards I hold myself. Once you enter the Dojo floor you are the same as anyone else.

To be honest, I think some instructors do women a disservice by going easy. Who needs to know how to defend themselves against a larger opponent more, a man or a woman? Who is more likely to be attacked?

If anything I'm tougher on women because they need to learn these skills and understand how to deal with what will happen and how to deal with it.

In the Dojo, leave your gender and every other hang up at the door. They're not welcome.

Everyone should be treated equally in (and outside) the dojo. My feelings mirror yours pretty much exactly.

One thing I’ve heard so many times is how women in karate around the 80s and earlier were treated very harshly. I know quite a few women who came up in bare knuckle/full contact systems who were constantly intentionally hit harder than men were at the time. It was such a male dominated art that many men felt women had to prove they were worthy and tried to make the point that women couldn’t hang with the men. All the women I know who trained through that era are TOUGH AS NAILS. I’m glad we’ve moved on as a society and no longer accept that.