Armchair Instructors!!

[sensei8]

I placed this topic here because, imho, the topic is about as general as it can be...Armchair Instructors!!

All of us, no matter how long one's been on the floor, have witnessed their own fair share of good intentional people that seem to think that they know much more than your own Instructor(s)!!

One doesn't really have to look that far and hard to find some of these Armchair Instructors. I've ran into them myself over my past 50 years in the MA, and whenever I encounter them, all I can really do is smile and walk away...but not before I've invited them to visit my school.

FAMILIES:

Sometimes, it's not that easy to avoid said Armchair Instructors because they're in YOUR OWN FAMILY!! Sometimes, it's sweet! Sometimes, it's belittling! Sometimes, it's frustrating! Sometimes, it's enough to make you want to disown them right there on the spot!

But, I begrudgingly listened because I was raised to respect those older than me. OK!! Older, yes! More knowledgeable than my Sensei?...I don't think so!!

In my ENTIRE family tree, on both sides of the family, I'm the ONLY ONE who's ever trained in the MA. Yes, I had every uncle offer me their unsolicited advice as how I should be doing it. And whenever they'd "show" me, it would be directly against what was being taught to us by our Sensei. The only good news about this type of Armchair Instructor is two-fold, after time, and I wish it had been sooner, for my sake, the advice from any of my uncles would stop because they were seeing that what they tried to impart upon me, while it was filled with great intentions, was nonsense. And, thank God for mom!! She stepped in, and told all of my uncles to..."Please mind your own business, and if you don't...I'll have his teacher TELL YOU!! So, Please...SHUT UP!!" Better later than never!!

YOUR OWN BACKYARD:

This one gets me each and every time I witness it. One student will tell another student something the total opposite of what I've taught them; not even in the same vicinity.

This is usually done when one student will either whisper their ill begotten advice or they'll confidently expound it proudly; not realizing that I hear everything, one way or another. My advice is over ALL!! My advice came from Soke, then to Dai-Soke, then to those who've been with them for quite a long time. We didn't make it up as something that sounds great, but we got it from the Lion's mouths!!

One of my duties as Kaicho is to un-teach that which has been taught by one of the instructors of a Shindokan dojo's CI. I do it each and every year. Somewhere and somehow and someone will inform the Hombu with a question that's about as far fetched as one can ever imagine. We quickly squash these via Video Conferences with that said CI in the hopes of getting ALL of them on the same page as the Hombu.

Our brand of Tuite is NOT the brand of EVERYONE ELSE'S Tuite. We move differently, and if you've ever seen Master Toma of the Seido Karate, you get a general idea of our brand, but Soke peppered it his brand up.

No, the Hombu NEVER interferes with creativity of the individual practitioner of Shindokan. What the Hombu approves of is a wide berth, but what the Homub doesn't tolerate is changing the syllabus/curriculum as it was created by Soke, and refined by Dai-Soke. That's the un-teaching that I encounter each and every year, and it shouldn't be so because Soke said so!! Neither, our Teaching Department, Instructor Department, and Curriculum Department hasn't, as of yet, amended not one dot or dash or word or anything from what Soke approved back in 1950.

We just don't want, nor do we need Armchair Instructors; thank you!!

EVERY ONE WANTS TO BE THE BOSS:

From time to time, MAists and non-MAists alike decide, on their own, to be YOUR Armchair Instructor, for some reason or another, as though your journey is their journey; that's impossible across the board. I can't wear the pants if someone else is trying to wear the very same pair of pants that I am; we both can't fit into the same pants. Not going to happen!

Again, as well intended as they might be, it can be quite damaging to many fronts. The Instructor front! The Family front! The loved one front! The friend front! This front and that front; they usually don't play nice together. Only one can be right, however, everyone wants to the one that's right...all of the time!!

You can please some of the people some times, but you can't please some of the people all of the time!! Your instructor ISN'T the Armchair Instructor; he/she IS the Instructor ALL OF THE TIME!! Telling Family and loved ones and friends that you have one Instructor, and their not that one instructor seems to land of deaf ears more often than not. Why? Intentions...again!!

Your Instructor has assistant Instructors, but, she/he have chosen them, and for all time, your Family, your loved one, your friends, and whomever else it might be, wasn't selected by your CI. So...

Please, support is always wanted and needed, but, stop trying to be the Armchair Instructor!!

If you've any Armchair Instructor stories, please, by all means, express them!! Remember, you're not alone in this fight!!

[Spartacus Maximus]

Whatever the subject, there is nothing more tedious than dealing with unsolicited advice from amateurs or underqualified people. Even when they are giving their advice with genuine good intentions. That is one reason I prefer to do all my training and practise away from any casual observers.

Besides that I am inclined to listen to anyone's advice and even humour the person. I always listen but it is my instructor who I follow because he is the one teaching me and not some random bloke.

I take the armchair instructors advice as a way to learn. I often take their ideas to my instructor so that we can pick it apart and it often helps me understand what I am learning. If however the annoyance is too great, I excuse myself and go off to practise in quieter surroundings

[Hawkmoon]

hehehehe!!

Likewise I am the only member of the family who has taken up MA, and I had advice from 'dad', uncle and even advice from a boyfriend of my daughter! (That was sooo funny ...!)

Now both Dad and my uncle were Ex army, so there advice was to offer to teach me 'un-armed combat' "a far more useful and street smart skill than this .... this katate stuff!"

Now I was honest with myself in saying if this is 'acceptable by the military to teach the troops, and dad was PT instructor to boot, then its good enough for me!".

(remember I do Kyokushin karate!)

So I made an agreement that I would take up the offer to learn 'un-armed combat' after I graded a few times, the idea was to be as honest as possible to both systems.

So I graded to 6 kyu, and started to work with dad ...

A few weeks into working with dad I had a tournament come up and I needed a lift, I asked dad as no one else had room for me in the cars that were going... he eventually agreed, some resistance to driving all that way to be bored as the karate stuff was not that interesting.

So the day came we drove down, he was supportive and happy and in high spirits! He was dad his complaining was behind him and he was now behind me!

That day I collected my first ever trophy, a 2nd Middle Weight Clicker!

After the presentation I walked over to dad all proud and full of smiles .. so was he, we never mentioned un-armed combat again, and I always had a lift to any tournament!

My Uncle was likewise happy...but moved to offering that squash was a better test ... I never did take him upon that!

LOL!

Now my daughters boyfriend, he 'apparently' had done something (sorry really do not recall what it was he said, 'nan budo' something or other) and he was certain that this made up stuff I did was a waste of money!!

I wanted to go see what he was talking about and asked if he could take me, well it seems his art (what ever it was) was so hard, the students had not come back and the club had to close!

So I invited him to the Kyokushin dojo I attended ....

... he was less cocky after that.... can't think why!

I've a few more, well at my age I have a long period of time to look back over, I'll share later in the thread !

[Spodo Komodo]

I can't say I have ever really come across any armchair instructors. Family don't tend to stick their noses into anything that doesn't concern them, I suppose I am lucky in that respect. In classes the most I have ever had is a whispered reminder if I have got the wrong foot forward, if there is a disagreement on how a technique is performed we ask someone who knows rather than chip in. I practice kata on a public field but the only advice I have been given was obscene and anatomically impossible so I don't think it counts as armchair instruction.

Having said that, I have been asked by family and friends to help them learn kata/forms/drills or to take a look at classes to see if they are ok so maybe I am the armchair instructor around here

[cathal]

I'm really enjoying this topic.

I think we've all been at the mercy of friends and family giving advice. In my case all of my immediate family practiced a martial art. So you can imagine some of the conversations we wound up having with ourselves let alone with our cousins.

Those occasions of unsolicited poor advice stopped when my older brother, at the age of 10, performed a shoulder throw on our cousin's father who stood 5'11" with such ease that all anyone remembered was how quiet it was until my father started laughing.

[sensei8]

Great posts, thus far, everyone; thank you!!

Ever since I started to teach, I've been saddened to witness the next Armchair Instructor.

PARENT/GUARDIAN

Not all parents/guardians fall under this category, and that's because they don't try to "Co-Teach" with any Sempai and/or myself.

I've no percentage/ratio to spout, but, imho, if even ONE parent/guardian exercises their good intentions for either their son and/or daughter, that's one way to many.

Help!! YES!! Support...hold a focus pad...stabilize the hanging bag...hold a shield/blocker...give High-Fives. However, please don't counteract what I'm teaching your son and/or daughter; it'll backfire, and their son/daughter will suffer for it in the long run!! Why? I'm the CI...you're the parent/guardian; both of us should, at all times, know our roles; I know my role quite well. How so? Because I'm being paid to TEACH, and I don't EVER share the floor in any shape, way, and/or form.

Dad, while watching his son/daughter practice at home, offers some advice concerning what they're doing during practice. The Dad misunderstands what I'm taught during class. The Dad, therefore, offers his advice. The son/daughter listens to dad, and the next time they're in class, I immediately notice that my student isn't executing said technique properly, yet they were last time I observed them. After only one question, I then realize that Dad, with all good intentions, instructed his son/daughter on how it should be. Now, I've got to, for a lack of a better word, fix 'it'!!

A CI's job is to put out fires...all day/night long!! A well intended parents/guardian starts the fire, and now, I've got to extinguish it...again. No problem; that's one of my duties! After having a small reminder conversation with said parent/guardian, my student is good to go, until, and it happens again...and it will.

Not often, but, a new parent/guardian will shout out "Instructions" to their son/daughter, and "help me" teach...from where they're sitting comfortably on a chair. That's squashed immediately by a Sempai!!

The road of the Armchair Instructor is paved with good intentions!!

[Nidan Melbourne]

I placed this topic here because, imho, the topic is about as general as it can be...Armchair Instructors!!

All of us, no matter how long one's been on the floor, have witnessed their own fair share of good intentional people that seem to think that they know much more than your own Instructor(s)!!

It is funny because as an Instructor I hate (tbh) it when people try and help when they actually don't know what they are talking about. Even a lot a students that are inexperienced I have noticed try and do it to the instructors.

Although I admit that I do it, BUT only because I have many years experience teaching. But i listen to what they say and don't interrupt what they are saying. But chime in when information they are giving is actually incorrect or could be described in a way that more people understand. ALSO I do check with the instructor if it is ok if I do it, although I don't do this to sensei or a fill in head instructor (My sensei has been away on holidays in the US for the last few weeks)

[Hawkmoon]

oh man yeah!

I go along to my sons tournaments and watch and hear the instruction and my own experiences screams NNNOOOoo...but I bite my lip (bite hard sometimes) and let 'sensei' deal with his students.

Its like being a driver sitting in the passenger seat of a car being driven by someone else ... the foot brake on my side of the car is missing or broken!

[sensei8]

oh man yeah!

I go along to my sons tournaments and watch and hear the instruction and my own experiences screams NNNOOOoo...but I bite my lip (bite hard sometimes) and let 'sensei' deal with his students.

Its like being a driver sitting in the passenger seat of a car being driven by someone else ... the foot brake on my side of the car is missing or broken!

You're killing me!!

[IcemanSK]

I look at armchair instructors as not only family, friends etc., but also folks who do train who come with unsolicited opinions on what I'm doing.

In addition to training my main Art for more than 30 years, I trained in Western Boxing for more than 10 years. Boxing gyms tend to be magnets for guys who walk in off the street and who want to share their unsolicited views on your training. It seems to come with testerone to tell others how to do something (that the advice-giver cannot do) differently. The joke "Do you even spar, Bro?!" comes from listening to these folks say such things.

Back to my original point. Occasionally, I run across folks who train in my Art that want to tell me how their master (GM, etc.) does it better/differently than I do. The reality is, that this almost never comes from someone over the rank of 3rd Dan. Once one has spent enough time in an Art to reach a higher Dan rank, most tend to wait to asked before giving out advice.

I used to hear from my students when we'd go to tournaments. While directed at me, and not the student from another school, they'd say, "Sir, why does that student do 'X, y or z?'" that was very different and/or wrong by our standards. I said to one of my teen brown belts, "I don't know. Why don't ask his master. He's right over there." He wisely chose not to. The old Polish saying, "Not my circus. Not my monkeys" is my motto when I see others do some "wrong." If they ask my thoughts/help, I will give it.