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Shojiko

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My wife, Linda, quit after earning her yellow belt; I was her instructor. I wasn't sad or glad or mad or anything. I treated her like I would treat any student that wants to quit...I DON'T CARE IF YOU STAY OR LEAVE; IT"S YOUR CHOICE!!

I told her..."If you think because we're married that I owe you something on the floor, you're sadly mistaken; no favors!! Get off my floor, and get off it now!" That was some 20 years ago, and we're still madly in love with each other, and we're still together...still married!!

I've never trained in a hobby before. In a MA?...yes, that I have been doing for some time.

:)

**Proof is on the floor!!!

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My wife has no interest in it, whatsoever. Every now and then, she'll want to hit something, or she'll ask me about a specific self defense scenario. That's the best I can ever get :P

Kishimoto-Di | 2014-Present | Sensei: Ulf Karlsson

Shorin-Ryu/Shinkoten Karate | 2010-Present: Yondan, Renshi | Sensei: Richard Poage (RIP), Jeff Allred (RIP)

Shuri-Ryu | 2006-2010: Sankyu | Sensei: Joey Johnston, Joe Walker (RIP)

Judo | 2007-2010: Gokyu | Sensei: Joe Walker (RIP), Ramon Rivera (RIP), Adrian Rivera

Illinois Practical Karate | International Neoclassical Karate Kobudo Society

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I can only speak from a boyfriend or husband point of view and here is my opinion:

Getting a spouse or girlfriend to join martial arts practise is only possible if the woman shares your interest in the first place. Getting her to keep it up and become as involved and dedicated as you might be is an entirely different can of worms.

My theory on this is that women are generally intimidated by activities that appear to involve physical contact and a possible risk of injury. This is especially true of martial arts. Women will generally shy away and even cringe at the mere mention of these because that is the culturally acceptable construct ingrained into their minds since birth.

Little girls are always told implicitly and explicitly that they must be nice, and cute and delicate. Being rough, strong and tough is more expected and encouraged of boys. The more physically rough an activity is, the less female interest it will generate. Of course there will be exceptions but they will be few and fewer still will become remarkable. Unfortunately those women and girls are considered odd by their peers because they enjoy so-called masculine or Macho activities.

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My husband likes martial arts, but he was training muay thai for a while with a buddy who's an instructor. He really enjoyed it, and it's more his thing than karate. So no luck there. But my son and I both do karate, and my daughter is interested - she already has highland dance on her plate though, which requires an hour a day practice already, so I don't want to overwhelm her at such a young age. She has come for camps and other days that family can join in, though.

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I've tried and failed to get my wife to take classes. Since both sons and I are enrolled she can enroll for free, but even that won't get her to try it.

Our school has started a women's self defense class that she is taking so I'm hoping she will transition from that to the karate classes.

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I would never try to get my boyfriend to join. He wouldn't appreciate it in the least bit. He's a huge guy who concealed carries and, even unarmed, is big enough that every fight he's been in he's simply Hulk Smashed and destroyed and it's worked just fine for him. There's no way he would respect doing hours of kata and kihon with just a few partner drills a class and due to that fact, I don't want him there.

As for getting a significant other to join in general-- I'd say don't get your hopes up. Martial Arts is really something you have to personally be drawn to in order to really get into it. If they go just for you, they won't put in the effort or they'll resent it and it'll end up driving a wedge more than bringing you together. I'd say suggest trying a few classes-- maybe tout the exercise benefits or see if she'd be interested in a woman's self-defense class or something. But if she isn't interested or, if after giving it a try she decides it's not for her, you'd both be much happier looking for some other pastime you can share.

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