Embarassed

[bitestones]

I think i am bad at Kyokushin Karate. About three years ago i made 10 Kyu(orange/red belt). I haven't advanced so far. I struggle with depression and low self esteem and slight paranoia. I have hard time learning the japanese words and Kihon and Kata. Sometimes i don't want to learn at all so i just quit, but i keep coming back. Should i quit Karate because i feel like the worst karateka in the whole world? I don't want to quit, i like the workout. Am i wrong if i want to keep going to the dojo while being a very slow learner? I wonder if my Sensei thinks i am a disgrace in his dojo. Also others have made friends with one another while i'm still a loner. I have Schizotypal Personality Disorder with Avoidant traits.

[Lupin1]

Everyone is different. Everyone learns at his or her own pace and faces his or her own challenges. I'm sure your sensei understands that. If you like doing it, keep it up. Don't worry about how fast you're learning or making friends or anything like that. Go for the workout and enjoy the time. Just do your best and set your own small goals (which some days may only be "show up"). Forget what everyone else is doing. Karate is an individual journey and each individual experiences it differently.

[Archimoto]

I think you should stick with it and I can't imagine your instructor thinks your effort a disgrace. With regard to your disorder, I hope that your consulting a professional and make sure that the karate training does not interfere with your therapy if there is any. Otherwise, even slow progress is good progress. There are techniques I've been working on for years that need improvement - it's the notion of not giving up that makes it interesting in my opinion. Rather than focus on the negative, why not set a goal for each month that is achievable - and focus on meeting that goal. And I strongly believe the first goal should be easy and then they can increase in difficulty over time. For instance, if last month you attended, say 6 classes, perhaps next month the objective is to attend 8? Let's say that you can do 10 push ups, the goal for next month might be to work your way up to 12 push ups? I would make the goals realistic, and for starters make them about conditioning, and then about technique. You can really do this in a variety of ways but the idea is to make the goals about YOU, and not anyone else. I hope this helps and I do hope you'll report back. Would be cool to hear how you're doing.

[Archimoto]

Everyone is different. Everyone learns at his or her own pace and faces his or her own challenges. I'm sure your sensei understands that. If you like doing it, keep it up. Don't worry about how fast you're learning or making friends or anything like that. Go for the workout and enjoy the time. Just do your best and set your own small goals (which some days may only be "show up"). Forget what everyone else is doing. Karate is an individual journey and each individual experiences it differently.

Great minds think alike !!!

I was delayed while typing but saw this reply when mine posted. Obviously I totally agree !!!

[bitestones]

Arigato for your replies!

I'll be starting Kyokushin Karate again in September. This august i'm re-learning my 10Kyu because i have forgotten stuff so in september i can start training for 9 Kyu. Belt exams are in Spring. I was amazed with myself when i attended 10 Kyu exam, i didn't think i'd make it. I was slower with Kata than others, Sensei told it's fine as long as i don't interrupt my Kata to keep up.

With pushups.. So far i can do 30 regular push ups. 15-20 Seiken push ups. And one five-finger pushup on knees.

[andym]

Arigato for your replies!

I'll be starting Kyokushin Karate again in September. This august i'm re-learning my 10Kyu because i have forgotten stuff so in september i can start training for 9 Kyu. Belt exams are in Spring. I was amazed with myself when i attended 10 Kyu exam, i didn't think i'd make it. I was slower with Kata than others, Sensei told it's fine as long as i don't interrupt my Kata to keep up.

With pushups.. So far i can do 30 regular push ups. 15-20 Seiken push ups. And one five-finger pushup on knees.

Well done bitestone for persevering.

I wonder if my Sensei thinks i am a disgrace in his dojo.

It's obvious your Sensei doesn't think so. We all struggle with the martial arts, it's just the scale that differs. Well come back and keep up the good work.

[Wastelander]

There are points in every martial artist's journey where they feel embarrassed by their perceived lack of skills/talent/fitness/etc. Many people quit when they reach these points, and those of us that keep going are the ones who benefit from our training the most, I believe.

Don't worry about your belt rank, competition, or comparison to other karateka--just train and focus on yourself. Right now, you're still a beginner, and no one expects you to be an expert. All you have to do, at this point, is try to be better than you were the last time you were on the mat. Sometimes, you'll have a bad day and feel like you're slipping backward. Just get back on the mat the next day and get back to work. It's this constant chipping away that reveals that karateka within you. Lupin1 and Archimoto had excellent advise with regard to setting small, achievable, short-term goals to keep you motivated. Those are what you need right now, in my opinion.

[Archimoto]

All you have to do, at this point, is try to be better than you were the last time you were on the mat. Sometimes, you'll have a bad day and feel like you're slipping backward. Just get back on the mat the next day and get back to work. It's this constant chipping away that reveals that karateka within you.

Excellent post !!! So true !!!

[Karate4Life]

OSU!

The above answers contain excellent advice. After reading your initial question, bitestones, I was wondering the following: What do you get out of Karate? Does it give you something that helps you through the day? If it does, and I'm sure that it does, then by all means stick to it. The only person you have to compare yourself to today is your yesterday's self. And don't you worry about being a disgrace - Karate is your individual journey.

I know people who suffer from severe depression and also really bad social phobia, and all these people have told me that Karate makes their lives better. Me personally I cannot think of anything better than my Karate to get me through a hard day.

You know, and when it comes to low self esteem, I believe that every Karateka can relate to this. Me personally, whenever I record some of my practice in order to see how I was doing, I'm always like "Geeh! That's me? Man! I'm a black belt, I SHOULD DO BETTER THAN THIS!!". So, you're not alone with this, I can assure you.

All the best,

OSU!

[Nidan Melbourne]

Don't give up on your training. I have suffered from severe depression for many years and i've had many of the same feelings as you have.

But I pushed through it and worked hard.

Being a slow learner is ok! You will make a great karateka one day as you have taken your time on the curriculum.

I am relatively slow learner but i spend ages to look at everything and karate is all i can think about. That is how i have been helping myself progress