Afraid to spar.

[TheGrim123321]

Today at Karate class we were working on parrying the going into chokes, arm bars, take downs, knees, and elbows. My sensei told us to go light but the girl I was sparing with(Higher belt) "accidently" hit me in the balls. My sensei told me I could get pay back. So I parried and kneeded her in the ribs I thought i did it light I didnt carry through and there was no yell. Im afraid that I cant controll my strength.

[TheGrim123321]

Forgot to add this but she was on the ground for 5 minutes crying.

[Nidan Melbourne]

It is a difficult thing to do straight off the bat. But you will learn to control techniques the more you do it. What grade are you and what grade was she?

Strange that your sensei said that you could get payback. Since you got her in the ribs and she was down on the ground crying does show that you did get her too hard.

Take into account that she should also have more control since she is ranked higher than you. For future reference if your going to knee your partner in the ribs during sparring go into the belly and not ribs. But if you are going to go into the ribs do it really light, since you can cause serious damage.

I am a dan graded black belt and sometimes i will do exactly what you did with my partner and i misjudged how hard i did it. I apologized and told her that it was accidental and meant no harm. She got me back with exactly what i did to her so we were even.

So don't be afraid to spar, because you will get better at it the more you do it. You will learn from this experience, everyone does.

[TheGrim123321]

Im white belt and shes one above me (Yellow)

[Nidan Melbourne]

Im white belt and shes one above me (Yellow)

OK that makes sense. Since your both inexperienced mistakes would occur.

Please tell me you were wearing a groin guard!!

[TheGrim123321]

I wasnt though she didn't hit it extremely hard she was aiming above but she hit the tip of my. well you know.

[Nidan Melbourne]

Well you (Honestly) made the mistake of not wearing a groin guard (at my dojo males MUST wear one, otherwise no kumite). i know very well even if it is barely hit it will really hurt.

I see by your styles that you have done some MA that you will become used to kicking/striking very hard so i think it is just what used to using to hit with.

[mazzybear]

Not having "man parts" myself, I don't know what it's like to be hit there. But I do know it really doesn't take much to hurt the ribs and they can take a very long time to recover. My instructor used me to demonstrate a knee technique once, as he was doing it he warned the class to go lightly, when the knee struck I felt a pop in my ribs. I wasn't immediately in agony and was able to carry on with the class, but the next morning if I laughed or moved too much it was very sore, if I sneezed, the pain was unbelievable. It took around six weeks before I was completely pain free. So for this girl to be on the floor crying for 5 minutes it must've been pretty bad. Just take it easy with the knees next time. With both of you being lower grades your instructor maybe shouldn't have told you to "get her back" Accidents happen at any grade but with the lower grades they tend to be more frequent, so best thing to do is just apologise and move on.

M.

[Wastelander]

To me, it sounds as though her kick to the groin was accidental, and caused you some discomfort. Your knee to the ribs was purposeful, and caused significant pain. Sparring is not a contest of toughness, nor is it a tournament--you are supposed to be learning and practicing techniques you have drilled in a more live setting. If you feel the need to "get her back" after an accidental kick to the groin, when you weren't even wearing the proper gear, then you aren't ready to spar, in my opinion. If you do spar, I think you should only be sparring with brown and black belts. People who are new to sparring are the most dangerous, and need to be taught how to spar by sparring with more experienced students. Letting beginners go at it is a recipe for disaster. As you said, you are afraid you can't control your power. That's because you can't, which is totally normal! It takes time to develop that control, and once you have, it will be safe for you to spar other beginners, and smaller people.

[Hawkmoon]

To me, it sounds as though her kick to the groin was accidental, and caused you some discomfort. Your knee to the ribs was purposeful, and caused significant pain. Sparring is not a contest of toughness, nor is it a tournament--you are supposed to be learning and practicing techniques you have drilled in a more live setting. If you feel the need to "get her back" after an accidental kick to the groin, when you weren't even wearing the proper gear, then you aren't ready to spar, in my opinion. If you do spar, I think you should only be sparring with brown and black belts. People who are new to sparring are the most dangerous, and need to be taught how to spar by sparring with more experienced students. Letting beginners go at it is a recipe for disaster. As you said, you are afraid you can't control your power. That's because you can't, which is totally normal! It takes time to develop that control, and once you have, it will be safe for you to spar other beginners, and smaller people.

Sometimes things happen they are called accidents, react accordingly in a word ... Humility.

Your partner is only one rank above beginner, above you, it does not make them an expert or a person to trust as a 'teacher', that is your teachers job.

I wonder if your teacher in saying to you you can get your own back if he actually meant for you to 'respond' in kind, as a vengeful action, or if he meant the comment to lighten the mood, a little diversion a joke/laugh?

Don't be afraid to spar, and certainly do not be afraid to apologies open to them or your teacher.

I don't mean prostrate yourself upon a torture rack or something, just be open honest and genuine about the incident and with your apology and seek to move on!

Humility.