Disrespectful act

[Hawkmoon]

So today, things took a huge turn for the worse. Tonight, the Nidan that basically runs the operations of the club told me that "K" has been informing the parents of some of the students that she is being unfairly targeted. She claims that in her kumite for her test, she was hit intentionally and it caused a slight concussion (nevermind the 3 kicks to the Nidan's "man parts" that she dealt out prior to that). She approached our M.I. and informed him of this and basically said that she's thinking of filing charges against the Nidan. I'm not quite sure if it was an ultimatum to have him removed from his position of authority within the club, but the Nidan has resigned from his duties at the club for fear of having this person ruin the club. He will now train only as a student but will have no authority or voting power in the club. He feels that this is the only way to avoid giving the club a "black eye" for lack of a better term.

I was present at the test, and I was literally 6 feet away when that "hit" occurred. (I put "hit" in quotations because it wasn't a hard enough strike to hurt my 5 year old- they both attacked at the same time, and the Nidan's strike got there first- he tried to shorten the strike, but the student had committed forward, but was trying to lean back) The Nidan was wearing thick padded kumite gloves, and the hit occurred as the student was moving backwards and was done slow and with no power and certainly not intentionally. 10 minutes after that "hit", the student's daughter ran and fell head first into the wall of the same room, and she did not suffer a concussion! After the test, the Nidan actually offered positive encouragement and offered to help the student achieve the rank she desired. Which is why I am floored after hearing what I heard tonight.

I have no other words. I've never come across this kind of childish garbage in the martial arts.

GET RID OF HER IMMEDIATELY!! .....

who does she think she in 'Tony Stark?'

Sorry this is pathetic, direct her to the door, open it, hand here all her dues she may have paid, and a letter that simply repeats you saying:

"Thanks but no thanks."

"feel free to train else wheer you are no longer allowed or welcome here".

Blunt but more importantly open clear, and PUBLIC!

[ineluki]

I just meant that if she argues

Again, IMHO this is far beyond the point where you should be arguing about her grade. Just do not enter into that anymore, she has made it clear that she does not care about your oponions then she doesn't need your grade either.

[Nidan Melbourne]

I wasn't saying that I want to justify her rank. I just meant that if she argues that she should be a higher rank, I would have video evidence to show her why she has not achieved that rank. I'm putting together a list of "evidence" for when the issue comes to a head. She is actually going out of town for a full month, so we'll have time to get all ducks in a row before the meeting.

There should be no further arguments/discussions about rank, this person should no longer be a student at the school. Refund all dues not "used" and show her the door. Keep the video as evidence in case she considers suing.

Can someone call her now?

I totally get what your saying. It is not that hard to figure out how much to refund at all.

At my school we have multiple membership types, with the longest being an 18 month membership. If someone at my school gets expelled or quits they have the remaining time/lessons refunded.

If they have to take time off and they payed by time (say the 18 month plan) the owner of the school with freeze the payments and will contact the bank to not to do the direct debit that month. But if payed purely on a lesson based you just have to let the owner know, and you can return when you want.

This lady should be expelled for her behavior, and that she is threatening legal action is shocking! How does she not understand what Martial Arts involves physical contact?

I think she is of the belief that whatever rank her friends go for she should receive the same rank as well.

@Jaypo good plan to get all your ducks in a row prior to the meeting. Since you have video evidence of the grading you can easily prove that she wasn't up to the same standard.

Also @Jaypo what is your ranking system for adults & juniors and promotional criteria?

At my dojo we don't film the gradings because everyone is fully aware of how we do things and that no matter what you do we will treat everyone fairly.

[jaypo]

An update to the ongoing saga. And another twist to the story! The last update I had was that the student was threatening legal action because of the mild concussion that she sustained from a punch in kumite that she was being singled out in. What I found out last night is more disturbing. I've been posting on this forum about all the atrocities that I felt this lady has been putting us thru, and then I find out that the majority of it was fabricated. I mentioned that the student had sought out parents to black ball one of our Nidans, and that turned out to be flat out false. The parent that claimed to be "sought out in the parking lot" made the entire story up. She was having lunch with the lady on the Monday after the test. The student mentioned that her head hurt, and the parent said that it was probably from that punch she took in the test (she was there because her own daughter was testing). She then went to our M.I. and told him that the student was suffering from a concussion and she may need to press charges. She also informed the M.I. that she didn't want her daughter training with the Nidan because she didn't trust him.

I still don't condone her attitude about her rank, but I am very concerned with this parent. From the day I met them, they seemed a little strange. They have a weird desire for their petite 9 yr old daughter to be a "fighter"- they have her in karate and make her spar with her 17 yr old amateur boxer brother to "toughen her up". Nothing unusual about that. I just think they push her a little too far about it. The girl is as sweet as can be, but the parents seem to want her to be a killer. So it doesn't surprise me that the parent has been stirring the pot.

We'll meet tonight and figure out how to handle the situation from this point.

[mal103]

Exclude any liars...

I have experience of a certain family that were a pain in the backside, they also wanted their kids to train because they had problems or were just misfits, rather than bring them up properly they took them to us...

There were also bruises and a potential cover story by using karate as an excuse.

We put on black belts and stand as role models to teach MA to every day folk, some look up to us, some expect us to be near perfect but others will just try to play us for their means. We must stand above it so long as we are in the right. There is only one place for liars and troublemakers - the door!

[jaypo]

A sidenote that I forgot to include in my last post- the parent that was fabricating the story was apparently upset with the Nidan in question because during a class that her daughter was attending, he got "aggrivated" at their performance and "yelled" at the students. I asked one of the students that was there, and she informed me that the Nidan was a little frustrated, but he didn't even raise his voice. All he did was showed her the correct way to do the technique that he was demonstrating as he did with all of the students.

I'm now under the impression that the student "K" had previously voiced her displeasure with the Nidan's grading decisions, and this parent, who is a friend of the student, is perpetuating the problem and holding a grudge for her friend against the Nidan.

This really sucks because her daughter is a very good student with a lot of talent and drive. But they are the kind of people that will pull their daughter out of the school if THEY'RE not happy, even though it will hurt the daughter's training.

[mal103]

It's painfull losing a good student but you have to be clear - either make a complaint or be quiet.

If there is any truth in the complaint then approriate action should be taken like an apology, if there is not then they need to be told that their complaint is not justified, hint that if they continue to complain about staff/students then they risk exclusion.

[jaypo]

What's killing me is that the actual student is out of the country for another 2 weeks. She called in the other day to one of our students and said how happy she was with her current rank and how much she missed training. I won't have the opportunity to talk to her for another couple of weeks! I was actually looking forward to meeting with her, because she and I have had a good relationship in the dojo. I find that I can get thru to her a little better than the others (she made some comment to me once about having the most respect for me out of the others because of the way I interact with her). She seems to listen to me a little more because she doesn't have that friend chirping in her ear about me. I started the conversation after her test, but her daughter injured herself as we were speaking and she had to leave.

I'm curious to see what she has to say when she gets back.

[Nidan Melbourne]

I am interested to hear what she has to say. It is a good thing she respects you the most

[kensei]

oh the joy of being a teacher and running an organization!