advice needed on bad tempered instructor

[miyagi]

Hi, I'm new here but have been reading these forums for the last few weeks.

My kids aged 9 and 10 got into shukukai karate (not sure if its the correct spelling?) about 4 months ago. They had no previous martial arts training, but when they did their first lesson I could see they had talent. As white belts the were sparring against higher belt colours, and sometimes fought better than some of the green belts that were there.

Anyway, as the weeks went by my younger son started to lose concentration because the instructor does the same things in the same routine every lesson and I guess my son as much as he likes karate just found it as boring the way the instructor taught it.

When the instructor was off at a competition and had another instructor fill in for him. My sons loved it as he made the lesson more fun and they ended up really enjoying it and concentrating more.

Anyway when the original instructor came back and things returned as normal. I reminded my son to concentrate. (he struggles to concentrate, its not something he can help) I reminded him before each lesson to try and concentrate more and not to fidget. (he will play with his belt, or look around or if he's sat on the floor he'll keep changing position etc..)

So anyway, on the day of grading. Everyone was playing a warm up game of tag which the instructor usually lets happen most lessons. The instructor was sat at a desk and had his laptop there and a huge wire trailing across the floor to the socket. The wire was about 6 foot in length maybe more and he must of had to connect it to another wire at some point as there was a tiny table to support the box that was in the middle of it.

My son ended up running near to the wire while playing tag, but not near enough to cause any damage etc.. and he ended up yelling at him really loudly that he'd been told before not to run near the wire.

My poor son went red and was obviously humiliated as with it being grading there were 40 odd people there if not more.

My son hadn't even been warned not to run near the wire, the instructor had told him that he couldn't play dodgeball because of the computer he had not warned him about running.

I feel the instructor had humiliated my son. All he had to do was have a quiet word with him if he felt my son was in the wrong.

But to be fair the instructor let the tag game start and surely if he felt that protective off his computer why let them play the game.

My son is no angel. He is hyperactive, he has no concentration and will occasionally mess around (Although usually its me that notices this not the instructor)

I understand this.

But when my son was playing a game which the instructor allowed happen in every lesson then he humiliates my child by yelling at him and makes my son too embarrassed to go back. This is totally wrong.

He even graded my son a zero (for messing around) and announced it to the class. Luckily my sons score was high enough for him to grade to red belt anyway.

I just think he's rather bad tempered. The instructor even told my daughter to 'go away' and she was stood several feet away from the table watching him. Which made her alittle upset. He went on to explain to a parent how 'Students have got to understand I'm not their friend etc,,'

But yets has his favourites in the class and often books 'karate' holidays for his 'students'

Tbh, he acts like a fake. Pretends to be friendly but isn't really. Even on his facebook page he has 'please don't add me as a friend as I don't want any friends, sorry if I upset anyone. So don't ask.'

He also spends a lot of time chatting to parents in the lesson and makes black belts take over warming excersises.

He's told off my son for doing something they do every lesson by his instructions.

Then he's humiliated him instead of having a quiet word.

Any thoughts? Do I take them back? Am I over-reacting.?

There's no other places in my area that do the same style of karate. And they've just graded to red belt, so it would be a shame if they had to start from White belt again.

thanks in advance

[mal103]

Tricky....

Part of me wants to say, stop them training as if they can't take a bit of a shouting at then they maybe too fragile to train in a MA or have never had a raised voice before? If they are clumsy or slightly ignorant then they may need to toughen up.

Another part says go find another instructor that you will be happy with but you could end up being taught rubbish by a "friendly" Sensei.

Another part says stick with it if the Karate is good, if there are plenty of students who are keen then it's normally a good indicator. They don't have to be nice to you, most instructors are good at Karate and have to learn the people skills, some don't or can't be bothered with it but their Karate could be good enough...

If we are too friendly it's difficult to keep respect, students also need to think for themselves and be aware, just because someone hasn't said "don't run near me and my laptop as you risk tripping and sending £1000 worth of computer onto the floor", then trying to claim damages for a trip hazard. Most people will stay away from such an area, if not it's time to learn to be more aware.

Remember that we all have teaching Karate as a primary skill, we are not there to teach kids respect, discipline etc. They will get these type of life skills through Karate.

We often get students/kids in with issues and the parent(s) bring them along to try and get us to disipline them where they have failed. Quite happy to teach them Karate.....

[Nidan Melbourne]

I feel the instructor is partially in the wrong for cracking it at your child and humiliating them.

What he (the instructor) should have done was tape the wires down to the ground so no one could trip or pull on the wires. which would have caused an injury or a busted computer. Which any good school would be aware of and actually doing it (covering it).

Personally i would rather a busted computer over an injured student. Injured Student caused by computer wires not properly covered (taped down etc)= lawsuit unless insured by school.

But since your child had gone no where near the wire, he should have just had a quiet word to your kid or even just told him to watch out for the wires whilst he is running around. And sounds strange for him to crack it at your child for him following the instructions of the instructor

It is wrong of the instructor to give him a 0 because he was messing around. Especially if it wasn't during the grading itself (or was the game during the warm up of the grading?)

This is why at my school, we don't use computers or use electronics (or even us sitting at a table) during the grading. We use good old fashioned pen/pencil and paper to write down our notes, and we use an ipad for the senior belt gradings (Purple Belt and up) for pre-arranged sparring a kata. But often for the junior belt gradings (White to green belts) we will use the ipad for kata. Which is only for the review process for my sensei, and is deleted after the grading review is complete (unless ALL the parents of the children at the grading give consent for the grading to be kept on record).

In terms of his facebook page and not wanting to accept friend requests is a fair enough call. As I am an instructor myself i don't want students being able to see my page. Although i have now many former students that train with me and i have them on mine . I teach the adults before my class (as i train primarily in the advanced class, but on ocassion will train in the class i teach) and have many friends in that as i train with them.

Is he the head instructor at your dojo? as mine will often have the other instructors do the warm up and have the 2IC (2nd in charge) will split the class up into groups and have my sensei look after certain students. As they alternate between classes of who does the warm up and splits the groups up. But my sensei usually spends 15-20 minutes of each class dealing with parents and students from the class before or during that one.

And in terms of your child being hyperactive and fidgeting, he will learn to focus on what to do and what not to do. especially since he is young he is still learning how to behave in class.

[Harkon72]

We teach Shukokai, but we NEVER let children spar with one another, not until they are teenagers. This shows the lack of realism this instructor may have. If you are not happy, go else where. Please, Karate is a discipline, taught by example and respect, at all ages and experience. Don't let your children be hurt or emotionally bullied. There are plenty of other schools, and cheaper doesn't always mean poorer. Good Luck.

[DWx]

I somewhat agree with mal103. Yes he probably should have taped down the wire for safety reasons but spacial awareness is part of Martial Arts. I would also say a 10 year old is old enough to make the connection between expensive laptop = stay away from it.

Grading days are especially stressful for instructors as they have a large number of students to organize and examine. They're usually accompanied by a whole load of paperwork to fill out and it is actually quite a big thing to sit there and ensure you examine people thoroughly. So I'm not saying it is right that he shouted at your child but he was probably already pretty stressed anyway.

Besides which, instructors do not have to be your friend; they just need to be good at teaching. Do you expect his school teachers to all be friends with your child? TBH looking back on my own school teachers I'd say the best one's were the one's who didn't care if I liked them or not but cared that I paid attention and did as I was told. You do have to draw a line between professional life (Karate teacher) and personal life.

[sensei8]

That instructor was wrong in the manner of which he choose to address said situation(s). I would've removed the instructor from the floor and had a serious conversation, and if that instructor refused to apologise and take ownership of his inappropriate actions, well, off the floor, especially during any testing cycle other than his own. Yelling at someone out of anger, frustration, or whatever, is purely uncalled for. Address the situation and not the person(s), and do it in private at all times.

We're the instructors and this instructors actions put shame on every instructor because of the manner it was addressed. Students, kids and adults alike, are not our property to address in any way that we choose. They're people that make mistakes.

Can't handle the stresses of a testing cycle, well, then don't conduct one nor be on any panel nor offer any assistance during said testing cycle.

[bushido_man96]

I'm not going to excuse what he did and how he handled it, but he may have been having a bad day. It happens to everyone.

Still, he should be in control of his emotions and the way he addresses people.

With that said, I don't think this is really something that you should let bother you too much. If you have a problem with the way he teaches, then its always possible to go elsewhere. If the training is good, then perhaps staying with him and putting up with some differences is worth it.

You could approach the instructor about his actions privately, and find out why he acted the way he did. He may not offer much info, but you can always approach him about it. He may not change, but it may help you understand better.