What's Wrong With Me?!

[sensei8]

I hate to beat-up this topic, but, others within the Shindokan Hombu's hierarchy, have officially submitted me to a hearing to discuss my refusal of wearing my awarded Kudan by our Hombu.

I told those concerned that, while I thank them all for my Kudan, I don't consider myself a Kudan; I'm Hachidan, nothing more!! I'll wear the rank only during official occasions that demand it of me per our By-Laws and the like, no other times warrant it, imho.

I'm not Kudan because Dai-Soke didn't promote me to this, and I still feel unworthy of it unless it had come from him. I went through all of their red tape and through all of their hoops, but, imho, that's where it ends and that's where it needs to end.

I don't depend on outwardly identifiers because Shindokan is in my heart; through and through. Politics make me sick!!

So, I ask...

What's wrong with me?? What's my problem??

Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

[CredoTe]

Ah... dojo politics. I haven't had nearly the experience with dojo politics as you and many others here have, but I can't stand them, either.

IMHO, not sure how much it counts since I'm nowhere near a Hachidan or Kudan, the fact that you consider yourself a Hachidan in your heart because that's the latest rank you were promoted to by your Dai-Soke shows incredible respect for your master, his spirit, his legacy, the art that he wanted passed on.

You mentioned that you don the "Kudan" for official, organizational occasions and for nothing else. IMHO, that shows you're trying to meet them halfway while trying to remain true to your Dai-Soke's memory. It's a fine line to walk, but I think it should suffice, at least in the spirit of the situation (I am totally ignorant of said By-Laws).

On the other hand, maybe the hierarchy sees you are worthy of said Kudan? Maybe they believe the spirit of your Dai-Soke, as well, and believe that he would have ranked you to Kudan? I don't know... I'm just a guy from afar, you know the workings of your organization intimately; but I like to think, that even in the face of politics, people try to see the goodness and worthiness in people. Maybe they're seeing these in you?

[mal103]

What's wrong with me?? What's my problem??

Nothing.

People enjoy parading around in their new coloured belts when they are Kyu grades - and rightly so.

I don't ever see myself as being awarded or given my Black belt, or more recently my Nidan, I see it as becoming a black belt - the Nidan was just recognition for my continued learning but now that i've come down from the high of getting it I certainly don't brag about it, sometimes I don't think I deserve it yet.

I just have to remember if people are all bowing to me or we are all bowing to a Sandan when we line up, it does feel good but I don't get exited about it.

I just take a deeper bow and get on with the training.

If it bothers you that much then give it back, sounds like others are more hooked up on the whole thing.

[Nidan Melbourne]

I'm not trying to have a go at you mate but life has to move on when people die. So does life in the Martial Arts world.

So you refusing to grade because your dai-soke wasn't there to promote you, shows that your really refusing to move on and accept that he has moved on to the afterlife.

So they wanted to promote you to the rank of kudan and that you had deserved the rank of it and no longer the rank of hachidan.

Although i do have to agree with you that you don't have to wear the new belt awarded to you. You have a choice of which belt to wear - either your black belt that you have worn for years or the new one. So there is nothing wrong with you.

Sometimes there are by-laws in schools that say that you have to wear your new belt in all classes etc.

I often travel between Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney (I live in Australia), and my sensei up in Sydney is an 8th Dan so he is wearing the Red + white segmented belt. But often he will just wear his regular black belt in classes. Also my sensei up in Brisbane (who is also a good friend of mine) that is a 3rd Dan will often wear a blue or red belt (he is a competitor so he wears those two coloured belts for competitions) other than his black belt.

[bushido_man96]

Good points made here so far for both sides of the argument.

So, you've been submitted to a hearing. What does this entail, Bob? Are they going to remove you from your position? Will they pull your newly awarded rank? What can they do? I'm curious as to what is within their power to do and not do.

I really think that perhaps they are seeking a figurehead for the Shindokan, and they want you to be that figurehead, and therefore, this could be why they press you to wear the new rank. But, its just a guess on my part, as I dislike the politics as much as you do, and don't care to concern myself with them.

But, as we tend to notice, we can't really avoid the politics as much as we would like. Its everywhere, no matter how much we avoid it.

Please, let me know more about this hearing. I'm very curious.

[Rez]

I would think your teacher would be offended that a student of theirs earned and deserved a rank that they refused to wear.

Master of masters pride. It's yours, wear it, dedicate it to your Master.

[Harlan]

For a guy that's supposedly trained as long as you have, seems like it's a rhetorical question.

You took the rank, you play by the 'rules'. I doubt you publicly refuted the rank, as that would stir an even bigger hornet's nest...

I hate to beat-up this topic, but, others within the Shindokan Hombu's hierarchy, have officially submitted me to a hearing to discuss my refusal of wearing my awarded Kudan by our Hombu.

I told those concerned that, while I thank them all for my Kudan, I don't consider myself a Kudan; I'm Hachidan, nothing more!! I'll wear the rank only during official occasions that demand it of me per our By-Laws and the like, no other times warrant it, imho.

I'm not Kudan because Dai-Soke didn't promote me to this, and I still feel unworthy of it unless it had come from him. I went through all of their red tape and through all of their hoops, but, imho, that's where it ends and that's where it needs to end.

I don't depend on outwardly identifiers because Shindokan is in my heart; through and through. Politics make me sick!!

So, I ask...

What's wrong with me?? What's my problem??

Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

[sensei8]

So, you've been submitted to a hearing. What does this entail, Bob? Are they going to remove you from your position? Will they pull your newly awarded rank? What can they do? I'm curious as to what is within their power to do and not do.

The hearing is more of a Q&A session. No, they're not going to remove me; I'll still be Kaicho. No, their not even considering that at all. I suppose that there's nothing they can do. Why? The By-Laws protect everyone, and I'm part of everyone. They just want to know what can they do to understand my reasons, and I've told them that they might never understand my reasons because the journey I'm on is mine and mine alone to take.

I really think that perhaps they are seeking a figurehead for the Shindokan, and they want you to be that figurehead, and therefore, this could be why they press you to wear the new rank. But, its just a guess on my part, as I dislike the politics as much as you do, and don't care to concern myself with them.

I am that figurehead; I'm Kaicho of the Shindokan Karate and Kobudo Association, and in that, I'm Kaicho over the Shindokan Hombu. In that, I'm Kaicho over the entire student body. My title warrants that!! I WILL wear said Kudan, for now, only during official occasions!!

[sensei8]

For a guy that's supposedly trained as long as you have, seems like it's a rhetorical question.

You took the rank, you play by the 'rules'. I doubt you publicly refuted the rank, as that would stir an even bigger hornet's nest...

I hate to beat-up this topic, but, others within the Shindokan Hombu's hierarchy, have officially submitted me to a hearing to discuss my refusal of wearing my awarded Kudan by our Hombu.

I told those concerned that, while I thank them all for my Kudan, I don't consider myself a Kudan; I'm Hachidan, nothing more!! I'll wear the rank only during official occasions that demand it of me per our By-Laws and the like, no other times warrant it, imho.

I'm not Kudan because Dai-Soke didn't promote me to this, and I still feel unworthy of it unless it had come from him. I went through all of their red tape and through all of their hoops, but, imho, that's where it ends and that's where it needs to end.

I don't depend on outwardly identifiers because Shindokan is in my heart; through and through. Politics make me sick!!

So, I ask...

What's wrong with me?? What's my problem??

Aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

A bigger hornets nest than one could even imagine!!

[sensei8]

I would think your teacher would be offended that a student of theirs earned and deserved a rank that they refused to wear.

Master of masters pride. It's yours, wear it, dedicate it to your Master.

No, my Dai-Soke would've understood because he knows me. He asks once, and then he asks no more!!