Kicked out of the dojo!!!

[mal103]

I do feel for you and am kind of on your side of thinking, BUT in your signature you have "Sliver? Loser!" - this may be the way you think or find it funny but it is not in keeping with a good humble MAist...

That aside, go to the wedding, smile and say hello to everyone you know, if they ignore you then it is their problem.

A good Sensei and/or instructors should see it as part of their job to help people to progress and better themselves, if there is an issue then they should do their best to resolve it.

The biggest challenge here is for you to keep training and if you are happier with your new Dojo/Instructors then best of luck for the future.

[The Greatest Disciple]

OP: You seem to be sensitive with strong emotional responses to situations that don't necessarily require them. There is nothing wrong with that, however, being able to control your emotions is a large part of martial arts. Keeping it cool in a bad situation is paramount, no matter what kind of crap you get shoved on you.

As far as quitting, if you walk out of my dojo you don't come back. I have no time for that kind of behavior. I find it disrespectful and rude. ALWAYS talk to your sensei before walking out. You made yourself the bad guy. Who is he going to believe? His trusted black belt or a kyu belt?

[conrad665]

I do feel for you and am kind of on your side of thinking, BUT in your signature you have "Sliver? Loser!" - this may be the way you think or find it funny but it is not in keeping with a good humble MAist...

Thanks for your good wishes, mal103. I hope my signature didn't make me look like a freak that studies karate only for competitions, medals, etc. These are not my intentions, on the contrary, I don't care even a bit about such things. In my new dojo, I told the sensei that I will not compete, but study karate only. That was a quote from the cartoon 'Penguins of Madagascar' and I found it funny, nothing else. I've removed it for further misunderstandings

The Greatest Disciple, I think you are right. I should've talked to the sensei, but this does not mean that he could treat me this way. He must have been the wise one in such a case. And he naturally stood by the side of his co-worker.

Anyways, karate is always karate. And I'm continuing to learn this magnificent art.

[mal103]

.......Anyways, karate is always karate. And I'm continuing to learn this magnificent art.

That's the most important thing....

Karate is not just Karate, it's an enormous subject that will always have more for you to learn and maybe even share.

Maybe one day you can talk again with your old Sensei and have no hard feelings.

[CredoTe]

Not every black belt can teach!! There's tons of more involved in just knowing the techniques and the like, for example, being able to interact with their students in a professional manner.

The BB doesn't give the instructor any right beyond the cause.

So true! Couldn't agree with you more!

Too many MA instructors in my neck of the woods have the attitude "you will respect my belt, no matter how well I teach or treat my students"... Our approach is, yes, we observe traditional ranking hierarchy with kyu students showing proper respect to yudansha. However, that doesn't give us freedom to treat them like dirt; they're still human beings. If we, as instructors / yudansha, don't show them respect as humans, not only is this unethical, it's bad for business (they'll leave, we lose money, won't be able to keep dojo running...)

On the other hand, as many here pointed out, it's Karate class. We do our best to conduct our training in a safe manner, but, as bassaiguy said, injuries come with the territory... I'm not saying to simply ignore a fractured foot; only that as soon as you're able to train again after healing, TRAIN... TRAIN LIKE YOU MEAN IT

As for communication issues, as others have mentioned, you should have notified your sensei as soon as an issue arose. Any good instructor with a decent sense of professionalism and respect will listen to a student's concerns. Any issues will be resolved by said instructors, however, you might not receive the exact resolution you're looking for

For example, we had a new adult student join class last year that was a fairly timid person and had never really done any sort of hard physical fitness. This adult student found our workouts / training very difficult and needed a lot of encouragement. We did; we always give positive encouragement. However, this student's means of dealing with adverse, daunting exercises was to goof off during class. Since our adult classes range from fairly hardcore to extremely hardcore, this student was always goofing off. At first, we talked to this student alone, after or before class when no one else was around, about the goofiness because we know for some people this is a normal response to something stressful. We worked out a plan with this student to improve this behavior.

After 3 months of working through this student's goofiness, there was no improvement. So, we discussed it with this student again (after class, no one else present), and this student didn't have a legitimate excuse. We told this student politely, but firmly, to knock it off; it's a distraction and disrespectful to everyone. We let it go another 3 months (maybe too long?)...

During class one day, we told this student, again politely but firmly, that this student needed to take things more seriously. This student immediately became all huffy and stormed off the deck (no bowing off or such) and left in a hurry. We don't feel sorry for this student's actions, only a little sad that this student wasn't able to overcome self even with our help and a plan. We found out a week later that this student was even more angry at us because we didn't immediately chase after to stop this student from leaving...

I apologize I'm so wordy...lol

I'm glad to see that you found another dojo and continue your training. Karate / MA is meant to be a lifelong journey...

[conrad665]

Not every black belt can teach!! There's tons of more involved in just knowing the techniques and the like, for example, being able to interact with their students in a professional manner.

The BB doesn't give the instructor any right beyond the cause.

So true! Couldn't agree with you more!

Too many MA instructors in my neck of the woods have the attitude "you will respect my belt, no matter how well I teach or treat my students"... Our approach is, yes, we observe traditional ranking hierarchy with kyu students showing proper respect to yudansha. However, that doesn't give us freedom to treat them like dirt; they're still human beings. If we, as instructors / yudansha, don't show them respect as humans, not only is this unethical, it's bad for business (they'll leave, we lose money, won't be able to keep dojo running...)

On the other hand, as many here pointed out, it's Karate class. We do our best to conduct our training in a safe manner, but, as bassaiguy said, injuries come with the territory... I'm not saying to simply ignore a fractured foot; only that as soon as you're able to train again after healing, TRAIN... TRAIN LIKE YOU MEAN IT

As for communication issues, as others have mentioned, you should have notified your sensei as soon as an issue arose. Any good instructor with a decent sense of professionalism and respect will listen to a student's concerns. Any issues will be resolved by said instructors, however, you might not receive the exact resolution you're looking for

For example, we had a new adult student join class last year that was a fairly timid person and had never really done any sort of hard physical fitness. This adult student found our workouts / training very difficult and needed a lot of encouragement. We did; we always give positive encouragement. However, this student's means of dealing with adverse, daunting exercises was to goof off during class. Since our adult classes range from fairly hardcore to extremely hardcore, this student was always goofing off. At first, we talked to this student alone, after or before class when no one else was around, about the goofiness because we know for some people this is a normal response to something stressful. We worked out a plan with this student to improve this behavior.

After 3 months of working through this student's goofiness, there was no improvement. So, we discussed it with this student again (after class, no one else present), and this student didn't have a legitimate excuse. We told this student politely, but firmly, to knock it off; it's a distraction and disrespectful to everyone. We let it go another 3 months (maybe too long?)...

During class one day, we told this student, again politely but firmly, that this student needed to take things more seriously. This student immediately became all huffy and stormed off the deck (no bowing off or such) and left in a hurry. We don't feel sorry for this student's actions, only a little sad that this student wasn't able to overcome self even with our help and a plan. We found out a week later that this student was even more angry at us because we didn't immediately chase after to stop this student from leaving...

I apologize I'm so wordy...lol

I'm glad to see that you found another dojo and continue your training. Karate / MA is meant to be a lifelong journey...

Thanks for your ideas, CredoTe, I totally concur Having a higher belt or being sensei/senpai shouldn't make one forget that we are all humans and we see each other outside of the dojo, too.

The sensei's reaction was the most heart breaking part. I studied with him for 4 years and I rarely missed trainings. My attendance rate was higher than that of all of my instructors And I was never disrespectful to them. Even after these events, I never said rude words or left in a huff as you told about the case in your dojo. I simply thanked my sensei, bowed and left since there was nothing else to do. 'A decent sense of professionalism and respect' is just what they need, I think. They are just too full of their own egos, which a karateka should have been able to overcome after 20 years of training.

My new dojo is more competition oriented, and this requires more strength and more developed reflexes. I will not compete unless the sensei forces me to do so, but training with national team members and more experienced students showed me how I lagged behind in speed and power. I learned that my stances are also too high and I had thought they were good. I feel like I'm learning everything from scratch, especially in kumite(I'm still scared of kumite a little, but I'm trying hard to get over with it). Incredible! When I look back, I think that my expulsion was even fortunate. Otherwise, I may have deceived myself for years, thinking I was studying karate.

As you said, karate is a lifelong journey, and I'm determined to stick to it all my life. I hope I will live till my 80s

[CredoTe]

Thanks for your ideas, CredoTe, I totally concur Having a higher belt or being sensei/senpai shouldn't make one forget that we are all humans and we see each other outside of the dojo, too.

The sensei's reaction was the most heart breaking part. I studied with him for 4 years and I rarely missed trainings. My attendance rate was higher than that of all of my instructors And I was never disrespectful to them. Even after these events, I never said rude words or left in a huff as you told about the case in your dojo. I simply thanked my sensei, bowed and left since there was nothing else to do. 'A decent sense of professionalism and respect' is just what they need, I think. They are just too full of their own egos, which a karateka should have been able to overcome after 20 years of training.

My new dojo is more competition oriented, and this requires more strength and more developed reflexes. I will not compete unless the sensei forces me to do so, but training with national team members and more experienced students showed me how I lagged behind in speed and power. I learned that my stances are also too high and I had thought they were good. I feel like I'm learning everything from scratch, especially in kumite(I'm still scared of kumite a little, but I'm trying hard to get over with it). Incredible! When I look back, I think that my expulsion was even fortunate. Otherwise, I may have deceived myself for years, thinking I was studying karate.

As you said, karate is a lifelong journey, and I'm determined to stick to it all my life. I hope I will live till my 80s

Oops... Forgive me I didn't mean to implicate you leaving in a rude or huff... Only that was the most relevant example from my experience that I could share with you. If the student from my example had left in a manner similar to your situation, the outcome may have been better...

BUT...

It could have been better had we / I found a better solution, as well. Whenever something like this happens, which is not too often fortunately, I always ask myself, "Is there something I could have done differently?" I'm definitely not saying that I (or we as instructors / yudansha) am responsible for anyone's behavior (only my own and my kids')... Rather, I ask that question of myself to learn from the situation so I can improve myself as a person and as an instructor / yudansha.

You are quite right about a lot of instructors that are way too full of their own excrement / ego. As you progress in your training, and truly find the humbleness that MA is supposed to impart (seems like you're on your way to humbleness), you'll be able to quickly sense / pick out the instructors that are way too full of themselves. When you meet them, the best way to handle them is to just smile, shake their hand and / or bow (whatever greeting suits the situation), and "see ya!"...lol

Sounds like your new school is a good fit and that you're looking for the positive things that happened because of your situation. The best 2 cents I can offer about a new school (or any school, for that matter) is ask yourself a simple question from time to time during your training: "Is this school giving me the training I am looking for?" In other words, what are you looking for in your Karate / MA journey? Your answer to that question may (most likely will) change over time as you take different paths on your journey.

Good luck in your new school

[Nidan Melbourne]

I can understand where you come from, as one of my old sensei's was much like that even if you became injured in class.

But it is a good thing you went to a new school that would treat you fairer.