Former training partner was attacked

[Wastelander]

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine (we'll call him V) that I used to train with when he was a teenager, back when I lived in Illinois, and he informed me that just within the past year he had to use his karate training in self defense. He stopped training shortly after I moved away, so he knows his skills have degraded quite a bit, but he still occasionally practices on his own, and works out with weights to maintain his strength. Those couple years of training came back to him well enough to defend himself, and I imagine his occasional practice and weight lifting probably helped.

V told me that his closest female friend (outside of his girlfriend) had been in an abusive relationship for quite some time, and he had been counseling her and being her shoulder to cry on. She was being beaten and emotionally abused regularly, and he had been trying to get her to leave her abuser but she was afraid of what he would do if she did. It sounded as though he had nearly beaten her to death in the past.

Apparently, the abuser found out that his girlfriend had been talking to some guy who was trying to get her to leave him. I imagine you can see where this is going. The abuser tracked his girlfriend down, and she happened to be talking with my friend at the time. He walked up to V, yelling and cursing, and got up in his face. An instant later, he sucker punched V in the jaw. The punch apparently hurt quite a bit (not a surprise) but didn't daze V, who returned fire with a single punch to the jaw before trapping the abuser's punching arm and locking it with a standing armbar, holding him down until police arrived.

The abuser went to the hospital with a broken jaw and dislocated elbow, and has since been put on trial and sentenced to 10 years in prison for a combination of his domestic abuse and his attack on V. My friend went home with ice on his jaw and hand, but otherwise unscathed, and his female friend is now free from her abuser. V credits his successful response to our old instructor, but the fact that he let the first punch land seems to have gotten to him, and he wants to start training again.

All-in-all, his story ended up being a good one. He may not have reacted perfectly, but rarely does any self defense situation go perfectly. I just thought I would share this story with you all--I was quite proud of him for his ability to respond to a real threat, make a traditional technique work under pressure, and restrain himself from doing any more damage than necessary.

[MasterPain]

The girl needs to start seeing a professional therapist if possible, both to deal with the effects of abuse and to try to deal with any issues that could lead to future abusive relationships. Otherwise, this did no good. Hope everything gets better for her.

[Wastelander]

The girl needs to start seeing a professional therapist if possible, both to deal with the effects of abuse and to try to deal with any issues that could lead to future abusive relationships. Otherwise, this did no good. Hope everything gets better for her.

She is currently seeing a therapist, if I remember correctly, for that very reason. My friend said she has had abusive relationships in the past, so he was worried about the same thing.

[JusticeZero]

Avoiding a sucker punch is somewhere between unreasonably difficult to impossible, and i'd peg it far closer to impossible. I wouldn't be alarmed by not being able to defend against something like that with physical techniques. The only defense there is awareness and psychology to try to read the intent being decided on, because once it flies it is too late.

[pittbullJudoka]

Sounds like his small amount of training was all he needed in this situation. As one of my instructors once told me when I got aggravated for doing the wrong defense to a give attack as long as I react to the action and am not getting the short end of the stick my reaction is correct. Those sucker punches get you every time. I'm glad everything is working out for your friends. V sound like a very good man, not many will help out friends of the opposite sex if they aren't in a relationship. He may have very well saved her life.

[bushido_man96]

Avoiding a sucker punch is somewhere between unreasonably difficult to impossible, and i'd peg it far closer to impossible. I wouldn't be alarmed by not being able to defend against something like that with physical techniques. The only defense there is awareness and psychology to try to read the intent being decided on, because once it flies it is too late.

I think he could have justified a pre-emptive strike in this case. Someone gets in your space like that, there is a reason. Many times, its for intimidation, but also this sucker punch. A pre-emptive strike and he probably would feel better about the situation.

All in all, it sounds like his training served him well, and he did a good thing to help a friend, and put a bad guy where he belonged. Two out of three ain't bad.

[ShotokanGage]

You never know when you're going to need it. I hope I never use my training. But I also hope that if somebody tries to get in my space, I make sure I have room between us to ready myself for an attack. If he continues to move into my space whilst I'm moving back, I strike, before he can.

OP your friend sounds like a good guy; top respect for him, for looking out for his friend.

[CredoTe]

A "perfect" self-defense situation is one that you walk away from (whether before things got physical via deescalation or after the physical altercation with your life).

I think he could have justified a pre-emptive strike in this case. Someone gets in your space like that, there is a reason. Many times, its for intimidation, but also this sucker punch. A pre-emptive strike and he probably would feel better about the situation.

All in all, it sounds like his training served him well, and he did a good thing to help a friend, and put a bad guy where he belonged. Two out of three ain't bad.

I agree; if someone comes within arms length of me without my permission with questionable or obvious intent, I own them. However, I still think Wastelander's friend "V" got a "3 out of 3".

The girl needs to start seeing a professional therapist if possible, both to deal with the effects of abuse and to try to deal with any issues that could lead to future abusive relationships. Otherwise, this did no good. Hope everything gets better for her.

She is currently seeing a therapist, if I remember correctly, for that very reason. My friend said she has had abusive relationships in the past, so he was worried about the same thing.

...and this completes the Good Samaritan deed, hopefully with psychological / emotional improvement and healing for her...

Only question, Wastelander...

Did "V" walk off into the sunset a hero?

[Nidan Melbourne]

Has she gone to see someone to be able to talk things out?

I know if she has been abused bad enough she will be suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) there will be things that need to be talked out with a psychologist and also she might need an outlet to take her physical angression out on (A punching bag is always a good idea).

My girlfriend suffers from PTSD and often when she has an episode she'll freak out and want to fight somebody. But instead a punching bag takes all the physical punishment of it. Also it helps her greatly to speak to somebody that won't judge her on what has happened.

So it is good to hear that she is rid of the abuser and the abuser got jail time