From a McDojo to a real Dojo

[senseikellam]

DobbySky

I dish out pushups when a student has done wrong, and its amazing how many don't show up the next lesson because of this. Never mind, atleast I'm left with the best (or most idiotic or gluttens for punishment)

To the above, I would just like to say,

We have all heard the phrase, “Respect is earned, not given.” However true that may be strictly depends on what an individual's perception of respect is. You cannot learn to show respect until it is understood why it needs to be given. Giving respect goes beyond the ability to follow guidelines or rules; however important they may be, but it is the learned thought process that has to be trained to understand why respect should be given. Training someone starts with basic guidelines and understanding of rules necessary to make class go smoothly so everyone can benefit, and then broadens as their confidence and learning grows. Watching the gleam in your student's eyes as they start to build confidence and grow into a pattern of giving respect is one of the most awesome parts of our teaching experience.

Now, I wasn't their when the individual was hit, but I have been witness to similar circumstances. A friend of mine and I first started training at a dojo where the teacher favored certain students who could do no wrong and who often did not exercise any control. Now, we all expected get hit and to do some hitting when sparring. A mean, that is what sparring is about, but everyone was supposed to be aware of the rules and not to break them. One guy in the glass kept kicking in areas that would have gotten the rest of us in a lot of trouble. He always hit with full force even though we were taught to exercise some restraint in class (I mean class was for learning and not meant to be a life or death situation). We were taught to land the point in sparring, but, not go overboard like in bloodsport. This guy finally got to my friend and she stopped coming for a while and then we got together and decided that both the instructor and this guy needed a dose of their own medicine. So, she returned to class and one day when sparring, I got to spar with the instructor and she sparred with the favorite student and both of them got taken down. Things improved after that and the instructor stopped playing favorites and started making the guy follow the same rules. I am not proud of that, but, sometimes we all get pushed to far. Maybe that is what happened with this guy. Maybe he will give it another chance after a while.

[Liver Punch]

Someone once said "They're not (derogatory term for weak individuals), they're customers. Not sure how I feel about that.

The idea of pushups as a punitive measure is great for a kids class. I can't imagine it among my peers. We just tell people that if they act like a jerk, we'll throw them down the fire escape.

For whatever reason, singling out children for punishment seems to work well, but adults take offense. The odd part is that you can punish an adult class as a whole for an individual's mistake and it goes over much better.

Anyhow - congrats on finding a suitable school.

[Liver Punch]

DobbySky

I dish out pushups when a student has done wrong, and its amazing how many don't show up the next lesson because of this. Never mind, atleast I'm left with the best (or most idiotic or gluttens for punishment)

To the above, I would just like to say,

We have all heard the phrase, “Respect is earned, not given.” However true that may be strictly depends on what an individual's perception of respect is. You cannot learn to show respect until it is understood why it needs to be given. Giving respect goes beyond the ability to follow guidelines or rules; however important they may be, but it is the learned thought process that has to be trained to understand why respect should be given. Training someone starts with basic guidelines and understanding of rules necessary to make class go smoothly so everyone can benefit, and then broadens as their confidence and learning grows. Watching the gleam in your student's eyes as they start to build confidence and grow into a pattern of giving respect is one of the most awesome parts of our teaching experience.

Now, I wasn't their when the individual was hit, but I have been witness to similar circumstances. A friend of mine and I first started training at a dojo where the teacher favored certain students who could do no wrong and who often did not exercise any control. Now, we all expected get hit and to do some hitting when sparring. A mean, that is what sparring is about, but everyone was supposed to be aware of the rules and not to break them. One guy in the glass kept kicking in areas that would have gotten the rest of us in a lot of trouble. He always hit with full force even though we were taught to exercise some restraint in class (I mean class was for learning and not meant to be a life or death situation). We were taught to land the point in sparring, but, not go overboard like in bloodsport. This guy finally got to my friend and she stopped coming for a while and then we got together and decided that both the instructor and this guy needed a dose of their own medicine. So, she returned to class and one day when sparring, I got to spar with the instructor and she sparred with the favorite student and both of them got taken down. Things improved after that and the instructor stopped playing favorites and started making the guy follow the same rules. I am not proud of that, but, sometimes we all get pushed to far. Maybe that is what happened with this guy. Maybe he will give it another chance after a while.

This isn't terribly uncommon in MMA gyms. Respect is given by everyone who isn't a jerk, and the other non-jerks give it in return. There's a lot of guys who don't give respect, and as such you have to take it from them. It's one of those understood things that when a guy won't ease off, won't settle down when you tell him, and won't trow lighter with guys who don't want to be hit hard...an instructor, advanced student, or general "bruiser gets them for the next few rounds of sparring and explains to them the error of their ways while inflicting a fair amount of pain.

[Lee M]

Always teach using public priase private reprimand - never infront of a class this is small.

[bushido_man96]

Always teach using public priase private reprimand - never infront of a class this is small.

I agree with this, unless the student is doing something in front of the class on purpose. Then, I'm not too shy about a "public" reprimand.