Training down the pan...feeling low

[Shotokan-kez]

Hey everyone i didnt know where to put this, please feel free to move it.

I have been very ill lately and my training has completely stopped. For those who know me, they would know i gained my 2nd dan in May. Since late August i have been out of training...and i miss it terribly, i haven't been to one single lesson and i just cant bring myself to go.

In September i was admitted to the psychiatric unit, after suffering a mental breakdown. I was there for three weeks and diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety and OCD. I was released and was making a brilliant recovery. But then at the beginning of this month i relapsed and was admitted to hospital again for another 2 weeks.

I am back in work now and doing really really great. My medication is working well and home life is good....but there is something missing...

MY KARATE! I miss it so much. During these past months of being ill its all i have i have thought about...It's crazy because every single night i have dreams about karate and my dojo. Karate is my life, next to my kids so why cant i go back? I am desperate to go back but i just cant...i often take my gi from my wardrobe and think.

Now things are going very well for me i just need this last thing back. Has anyone ever been through a similar thing? What can i do to myself back in the dojo? I even miss my teaching of the kids class, and i believe they have been asking about the missing sensei. It's very sweet of them. Please advise guys!

Kez xx

[joesteph]

I am back in work now and doing really really great. My medication is working well and home life is good....but there is something missing...

MY KARATE! I miss it so much. . . . I am desperate to go back but i just cant...i often take my gi from my wardrobe and think.

Now things are going very well for me i just need this last thing back.

I'm glad you're able to work and that your family life is good, Kez. I believe society's become more enlightened that an illness doesn't have to be physical in order to seriously affect a person.

I'm a strong believer in the buddy system. Is there someone at the dojo you're close enough to, and of course it could be your sensei, that you could visit the dojo when it isn't normally open to students? That's a major first step. You could bring your gi and feel no pressure as you work with a friend, or your best karate friend, your sensei. It takes a series of small steps to recover from the effects of emotional illness/distress, and something as simple as just entering the dojo can be the first of these.

Give it a thought, Kez. After all, you deserve to return. You earned it. And your heart's in the right place.

[RichardZ]

Kez. If you are taking anti-depression medicine, careful, as this could do more harm than good.

We all are faced with the trials and tribulation associated with life. We must do what we have to do and make adjustments along the way. The path of martial arts is never hidden or lost. We may have to get off the path, but it is always there, waiting, in most cases, where we left.

Some believe, like other hobbies, etc., martial arts have a value far past its physical and fighting aspects. It is to be a area to focus and channel much, even thus going into the disciplines of the mind.

Martial arts, and becoming a father, has made me appreciate many things, and pull out of many stressful situations-problems.

I wish you all the best, and whenever you ready to get back into martial arts, it will come to you. Meanwhile, do not get so concerned and/or upset about not training. Perhaps, a good break is what you had needed.

[algernon]

I'm a strong believer in the buddy system.

I returned to my training this August after a one-and-a-half-year absence. I had been meaning to go to go back since May, but, for whatever reason, it just felt weird to go back. At the end of summer I ran into one of my old karate friends, who mentioned that he had just returned to the school after having been away for several years. We talked about the "old days," and I told him that I would practice with him the following week. That was what got me back. It was partly the familiar face to work out with, and partly having someone in a similar position, but mostly I just needed some outside motivation.

Ask a friend to make sure you go. If someone is expecting you, it will be harder to put it off. After you get back into the habit of training, keeping it up should come naturally!

Good luck!

[bushido_man96]

I think Joe and algernon have good advise. Just take little steps that get you back to training, and having a support system to help will go a long ways.

[mr_obvious]

Maybe your recovery won't be complete until you return to the dojo...

That said, you'll know when the time is right. Even if it means training on your own for a while, working on Kata...maybe having a couple friends work with you.

[Shotokan-kez]

Richard...i am taking anti-depressant meds...why would this do more harm than good?

On a positive note i managed a class on monday evening. Everyone was very nice and really pleased to have me back. Some knew i had been in hospital but asked no questions, which was great because i find it hard to talk about.

I had played squash in the morning for an hour and then went to class for an hour so today (tuesday) i am in a lot of aches and pains in my whole body.

I am really pleased with it and i am going again on Wednesday. Thank you everyone for listening to me and answering my post.

Kez xx

[mr_obvious]

Maximum coolness! The benefits of Martial Arts training are diverse and many.

[KarateGeorge]

Kudos! Just take it one day at a time.

Glad to hear you enjoyed getting back to a class!

[bushido_man96]

Good to hear, Kez.