So, due in part to these tough economic times, my dojang is on the hunt for new students. As such, I put out a note to all my work friends asking if any of them would be interested. Several responded, one of whom is a guy in his mid-20s, fit, smart, interested in learning new things who happens to be gay.

I am a very, very liberal-minded person and as such, I see no problem with having gay male (or female, for that matter) martial arts students, but it's been my experience that though MA takes all kinds, some of those kinds can be very, very conservative on these (and other) topics, even within really liberal communities like mine (North Side, Chicago). I've only been going to this school for a few months, so I don't know everyone well enough to just know how they would react, and I would never, EVER want to put my friend in a situation that could make him uncomfortable, or worse.

What do you think? Have him try it out? Ask an instructor for an opinion beforehand?

Oh, BTW, he is in a relationship and is not prone to flirting inappropriately or anything ridiculous like that but he's very obviously gay.

Also, please note that while I respect all opinions, I'm not really looking for any religious or politically motivated responses which address the morality of his life rather than the situation at hand. Thank you.

IMHO it's entirely his decision. I'm sure he has dealt with prejudice before. He's his own man, and as such I don't think its your place to say one way or the other. If he wants to train in MA I don't think his sexual orientation should have anything to do with it.

Who the man has a romantic relationship with has zero relevance to a place where he goes to learn a skill which has no direct bearing on his romantic life. He is there to learn a skill.

I'll second both above. Justice is right, it should have no bearing to him or anyone else.

I agree. Hopefully, he wouldn't encounter any problems at the school. If he is obvious and open about it, then it is also natural to assume that it might make some members nervous. So, be ready for that.

In the end, though, I would think that all involved would be able to handle this in a mature manner.

I say go for it

Thanks, everyone. Perhaps I was being too sensitive about the issue...it's just tough to think of the possibility of his being an outsider when community can be so important in MA. But, if he wants to do it, I shouldn't dissuade him. And who knows, maybe no one will care at all!

I agree with all that was said above. He should go for it.

well, talk to him and your instructor about that... If they both agree he should give it a try, then let him... But if your instructor is against that, then I dont think its a good idea

If he is "obviously" gay as you say, then maybe it's best to have a word to the instructor to relieve any "is he trying to be funny or is he actually gay?" tension that might occur. However, I don't see any reason not to train. As long as everyone behaves like an adult there should be no problem. I would have no problem training with a gay guy and I can't imagine anyone I train with would either, and I grapple