Assaulted and Knocked out!

[Shotokan-kez]

Hey everyone, i'm not sure if this is in the right place...Patrick feel free to move it. javascript:emoticon(':D')

Saturday night we all went on a night out for a friends 30th birthday. There was a good crowd of us and it was a lovely evening. We went for a meal at Franky and Benny's and then on to a club. By the time we left the club i was quite tipsy from the alcohol, (as we all were), but we were going for a taxi home anyway.

When myself and my best friend got outside, i saw my best friends brother and sister having trouble from three men. I went over to try and sort it out the next thing i know im waking up on the pavement after being knocked unconcious. One of the men (i am a small woman) had struck me at the side of my head and knocked me down, as i went down the back of my head 'bounced' off the pavement, i heard the crack and felt searing pain, then i was gone.

I came round to see my best friends brother on the floor covered in blood and their sister sprawled on the road, assaulted by the same men! I tried to concentrate and call an ambulance on my mobile phone but every time i tried to dial 999 my fingers couldn't press the buttons. I was in deep shock but eventually made the call. Because i was around 20 miles from home i couldn't tell the emergency services where we were.

We were taken to the hospital in the ambulance, at this point i was shaking like a leaf and i didnt know i had been struck at the side of my head. It was the next day when i woke that i couldn't yawn, cough, eat or smile. My neck was badly bruised and swollen, as was the bone at the side of my right ear. I didnt even realise this had happened, all i remember is the back of my head hitting the floor.

I went to see my GP and she sent me straight to the hospital for an x-ray on the bone near my ear, luckily its just badly bruised but the man who struck me has perforated my ear drum. I'm in lots of pain now, my head hurts, although my neck is better. I just don't know what they did to me for me to sustain these injuries, weather they grabbed my throat or i had whiplash because of the blow.

I'm now trying to move on but having difficulties forgetting....i just keep asking myself why why why?? Why us and im trying to piece things together because i couldn't defend myself or my friends...this i am finding very hard to deal with because i feel ashamed and don't feel like i deserve to wear my GI or have the grade of shodan.

I feel so rubbish, i am a sufferer of anxiety as it is and now i am a nervous wreck, i am even struggling to take my little boy to school. I'm not sleeping and can't get myself to class. I have a Dan grading next month but now feel like i just can't go for it, i have lost all confidence and motivation...plus i don't deserve it! Just thought i would share guys, i'm feeling so lousy. Would have told u all sooner but i have had no internet until now.

Thanks for listening.

[JusticeZero]

It was an issue with awareness and tactical positioning, not skill, that allowed your injury; your skills are not in question as they didn't have a chance to be tested. Certainly if you do not feel comfortable grading yet, you shouldn't have to, but review what you might be able to drill in terms of situational awareness, situational drills, and the like. Do some research into how LEO's train for these kinds of thing. You did everything you were able to do; use the experience as motivation to enrich what you have studied. Now you know the importance of always knowing where everyone is and the like, and you can help the others at your school to be prepared.

Books to get - Meditations on Violence, On Combat. Both discuss the sort of things you're dealing with right now. And see about finding a psych to talk to, because you're going through some understandable and normal stress from this.

[tallgeese]

You're at a normal place right now for what happend, for sure.

Speaking from experiance, Kez, this is the point where you decide either to move out of the realm of studying violence altogether, or you use it to learn and push on with a renew sense of urgency to your training.

The first step, is to stop looking it as a personal thing. You are a student of violence, look at it professionally or academically. Reviewing what happened, as it comes to you, as well as the lead up, can reveal training points or tactical considerations for the future. The key is to not dwell on it as a beat on yourself fest. It's a post action breakdown to identify strengths and weakness of the performance, that's all. This will help you formulate a response in the future.

I won't speak to actions you may or may not have taken, too much like Monday mornging quaterbacking, but you need to look at them with a critical eye. Again, not to beat on yourself, but to sharpen your game.

We do this in cop work after almost every signifigant use of force incident, within our group, to isolate what happend, what was supposed to happen, and what caused the difference. This lets up fine tune details for next time.

Talk to others that were then and witnessed the altercation. Perhaps they can shed light on what exactly happend. You can look at what you need to re-tool, emphsise or back off of in training, if anything, after that.

Lastly, and this is so elementary that it really dosn't need said, but you'd be suprised how often it's overlooked, this is not an action on your part that hurt your friends. Nor any act of omission on your part. It's purely, as far as I can tell, the actions of those who you walked up to. It's on them, not you. As you're doing your own de-breif on the incident remember that.

[Shotokan-kez]

Thanks justice for the advice. My doctor suggested i go back on medication, i was on medication for years. My karate has always kept me going and is a real passion in my life, but now it seems fruitless

I need to get a grip!

[Shotokan-kez]

Thanks tallgeese. I'm thinking IF i ever go on a night out again it will definately be alcohol free, obviously this has effected the outcome of the night.

I'm dragging myself to training tonight, but i don't know how i'm going to face my Sensei.

[tallgeese]

Remember, Kez, you didn't start it. Period. After that, it's on them. And don't think for a second that you're the first black belt to end up on the wrong end of a confrontation. It's happened, plenty.

If you do this long enough, it will happen. We always hope it's in training. But that's a perfect world, and it's not. If you're having serious trouble moving on mentally, talk to someone. I've seen people pretty effected have some signifigant releif once a good debreif is done. It really is helpful.

I'll also second Grossman's On Combat. He as some good PTSD studies cited in there and some great mental readiness stuff that will be helpful for perperation in the future.

[Truestar]

I would learn from the entire confrontation than anything.

As a Martial Artist maybe it would have been better to watch the alcohol intake?

If I'm not mistaken your ability to hold alcohol without the effects hitting as hard is something that can be improved. Maybe spend a night at home once a week slowly increasing that intake to a "bar social" level without any problems? If you can get to that level an maintain equivalent skills in the dojo I'd say that's a good balance.

I'm 17, I'm never drank alcohol other than a sip of grandpa's wine once and awhile so I'm speaking purely from a "childs" (if you must) perspective.

Drinking with some friends isn't something we should feel we can't do as Martial Artists. There's nothing like sitting with the guys a little buzzed laughing and having a good time. It's our condition afterwards and what we feel we're responsible for.

A) They were your friends, and a woman was involved. Not to be sexist but generally speaking a gentleman looks out for a woman, whether or not they can defend themselves, it's just chivalry. So making the inital approach wasn't a mistake.

B) As a Martial Artist you had an understanding that a confrontation was on the horizon and could have easily arrived. With that in mind you also stepped in. Nothing wrong with that either.

So whether alcohol resistance is what should be worked on, or maybe cutting out a majority of alcohol I don't know. This is just my opinion and due to my lack of experience in the world may not be the most valid.

[Shotokan-kez]

Truestar...thanks for your input...yes a woman was involved...me! Two women were assaulted that night, myself and my friend. Just wanted to clarify that.

[DWx]

Sorry to hear that Kez, hope you're ok. You can't blame yourself for what happened. Just because you are a blackbelt and you are a martial artist doesn't mean theat you develop superhuman powers and the ability to defend yourself from all the world's big ugly thugs. Sometimes these things happen. Its up to you how you learn from the experience.

[Truestar]

Definitely quite the scenario then. Once again, not to bring sex as a factor but any group of guys willing to outright hit one woman, let alone two or three are serious thugs as already stated.

The way of your recovery is up to you. You can fully recover if you let yourself.