Am I being bullied??? Please help.

[bushido_man96]

Lots of good posts, but really, he needs to develop a better system for accepting attendance and payment. Are you training there also? Martial Arts is a great way to develop self confidence, self respect, etc... If you aren't training, you should start. I bet you would love it.

I would usually agree with you here, that she should start training, but in this case it sounds like she would be diving into a fairly hostile environment.

I hate to say this, but at this point, is it really worth it? You aren't training there. The people involved treat you poorly. This whole conflict is causing friction between you and your boyfriend at home. I have to say, if you aren't getting anything out of it, do something else with your time. It doesnt sound worth the stress you are going through, and I doubt anything will change, even if they are FORCED to apologize. They don't mean it and they don't care.

You make a very good point, here, Jaymac. It comes to the point that you should maybe cut your losses. One thing that would concern me is if your boyfriend is going to continue to be un-supportive in this way, with any other things that you may go through. It is a good question to ask yourself.

[shukokai2000]

Just have a heart to heart with him... Time to lay all cards on the table now, as it MAY get worse

[lordtariel]

If you really want to annoy someone who is being nasty, be really nice to them...

One of my favorite quotes... Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more.

[baronbvp]

So what happened? How is it going now? Hopefully you'll have a new attitude from the students and parents working in there after the holidays. At least clear out the dead wood.

[Philosophical One]

Well, one set of parents is nice to me now - they still make me feel a bit uncomfortable but they seem to be really nice and genuinely friendly which I really appreciate. They were the ones I had a confrontation with at the end of last year.

The other 2 mother's are still the same...

Two of the girls are still the same...

BUT the ringleader has improved out of sight and is almost likeable - if I didn't have issues from previous rudeness I'd say she was the typical nice student...

She (the ringleader) achieved her Blackbelt last year - I WAS NOT HAPPY - but hey I was in no position to block her - no Blackbelt no vote.

I'm trying to improve myself and I am still looking for answers as to why all this has happened to me. I am planning to assist one of the instructors in teaching this year and I'm pursuing more friendships outside of Karate.

So there are slight improvements but it's not 100% by any means hopefully things will continue to improve thoughout the year.

[bushido_man96]

I am glad to hear that things are improving, if only a little. It sounds like you are on the right track, and I hope things continue to improve for you.

[Shotokan-kez]

Yeah it's goof things are improving for you, best of luck, it does seem like you are on the right track.

[baronbvp]

Congrats on an improving situation. Everything happens for a reason. Look for the lessons in any adversity, and take any hidden gifts you find to make yourself a better person. Sounds like you have done just that.

[Philosophical One]

The ringleader girl was expelled from the club a few months ago.

I was really surprised - believe it or not.

Things (I thought) had calmed down a lot and I was moving on... but my partner (head instructor) was still not happy with her training or her behaviour.

Apparently she was having a negative effect on one of the other girls who was going for her Blackbelt.

Also, both she and her mother kept on questioning my partners decisions regarding assistant and junior instructors... because they wanted control over which classes she worked at and who with... Big mistake.

After he got angry with them for questioning him, they approached another instructor (a long-time friend) - asking to train with him.

Well that instructor - out of respect- told my partner and asked if he minded.

My partner said "Sure take them - but demote the girl to White belt, and beware - she and her mother are both trouble makers"

He was (at that time) unsure if they began training with the other instructor but he got an email informing him that said girl was "Taking a break from Karate"

After several months of her 'break' he terminated her membership, for failure to show loyalty, amoung other things.

[WudangDragon]

I just read through this thread and caught myself up with your story from start to finish, and I think that given the girl's decorum in the dojo (rudeness should not be tolerated, especially not to someone with a position of authority), the punishment, her expulsion, is the best thing that could have happened.

Rudeness, questioning the Sensei, disloyalty to the club; it's a laundry list of martial crimes if you ask me. She got her just desserts. Good on the sensei for taking action (albeit somewhat delayed).