Haven't been able to put in my best

[Shotokan-kez]

Hey guys. This isn't so much a question, i just needed to vent off to you all..(since your all good listeners) I went to karate on monday and just felt like i couldn't put in any effort. There is a kyu grade coming up soon so sensei was putting the younger grades through their paces. When we were asked to do heian kata's i couldn't believe i had forgotton parts of them! It was like a complete mental block. Sensei said to me "well i can't tell the lower grades off for getting it wrong now can i?". I was pretty ashamed as im 1st kyu and i shouldn't be getting wrong. I often find that when there is only a few of us in the class the lower grades tend to follow me in kata but this time i was doing it wrong i felt bad.

After that i just couldn't put in any effort, i had no power or spirit, and i'm ashamed to say had a 'can't be bothered attitude'. Sensei said to me at the end "If you do that for your dan grading i will fail you". Of course that made me feel worse, and should have really hit home. The same was tonight in training (wednesday). I couldn't concentrate on it and again i was showing no spirit, kia's weak, techniques not half as powerful and good as i would usually do.

I don't know whats wrong with me, i have been 1st kyu for three months and in 8 months time i can grade for black belt so i should be really working towards that and trying really hard...maybe actually looking like im interested in karate! I am terrified of my dan grading, even tho it's 8 months away i'm very scared and i'm wondering if it's that fear that's causing me to be sloppy in my training.

Maybe i'm going through a phase and i need something to give me a kick to get back into it again. I'm not saying i'm losing interest in my karate because i can honestly say i would never live without it. I just feel like i'm stuck in a rut. Anyway i just needed to get that out.

Thanks for listening guys!

Kez

[username8517]

We all go through this phase at one point where you just feel like you're going through the motions of it all. Just hang with it and eventually you'll pull yourself through.

Now in regards to the "can't be bothered" attitude--I would say don't worry about it too much. We all have our off day(s). As an instructor I've had days where I begin doing one kata and then halfway through switch midstream to another and not noticed. We've all had days were we had a bad day at work/school/home, wherever and then have to head to class. Basically when our mind is not where it should be, we can easily get confused or just run through the motions with general apathy. Remember, we're all human. We're all going to make mistakes. It's just part of life.

I will say I don't agree with the statement your sensei made about not being able to correct lower ranks when you're screwing up. It's not like you've always made those mistakes. Otherwise you wouldn't be where you're at now. It's always possible your sensei was having an off day and took it out on you with criticism and harsh words.

My advice would be take next week off. Don't worry about martial arts. Just relax and recharge your batteries. Talk to you instructor before hand. Let him know how you feel and why you're going to take a short break.

Oh, and in closing, don't worry about your black belt test. It's a ways off and odds are your sensei won't let you test if he/she doesn't think you'll pass.

[KamasandSais]

some times when I feel like im in a rut i ask my Instructor to punch me in the gut so hard, I know what I had for lunch...just kidding. maybe try to learn your new form (if you have one) (or make up a form)), before you test, so you can learn something new, so you can leap out of the rut. then try to go back to your forms. If it doesn't work, try what I mentioned before.

[Simo]

yeah mate, happens, cant do much about it, but practice! we all do it..

Good luck

Simo

[Brandon Fisher]

I agree we all have off days, we are human it happens. But for your sensei to make those comments to you in my opinion was dead wrong. Sensei is supposed to push you hard, work you to your breaking point and then beyond. However not deamean you like that. Sensei is also supposed to help encourage you when you have off days. Well he did just the opposite. My guess is he set something off in your mind that you are not worthy of your rank. Well been in those shoes before and its no place to be. Shame on your sensei for his attitude and approach to this. I am sure he has made plenty of mistakes himself. Maybe he needs to make some more and learn some humility.

[bushido_man96]

Hey, Kez. Sorry to hear that. But hey, you know what? We all have bad days. It will pass in time, and things will be back to normal.

One thing that may help you out is to take a week off. Get some things caught up at home, take the kids out for a dinner or movie, or just take it easy. I think if you do this, you will be ready, willing, and able to get right back to where you want to be in your training.

[bushido_man96]

My advice would be take next week off. Don't worry about martial arts. Just relax and recharge your batteries. Talk to you instructor before hand. Let him know how you feel and why you're going to take a short break.

Hey, great minds think alike, huh? And I didn't even see the other posts before I replied!

[Shotokan-kez]

Thanks guys. When i started the thread at 10pm last night i went straight to bed, so this morning it was nice to see the replies.

Brandon i see what your saying, sensei is hard to understand sometimes and sometimes we are not sure how to take him. I do like him though and i do look up to him. A young girl (around 9) just got her black belt last sunday. When she took the grading she performed really well and well deserved the belt but when she's in class she fools around. I know she's just a kid and they do that but it does annoy me a little.

It also annoys me that it's mixed classes and i find it difficult when i have no-one suitable to pair up with because they are all being silly and small people! I think this is interfering with my training too.

I'm going to take your advice and take monday off, then see how i feel for the wednesday session. I think what it boils down to is failing the black belt grading. Yes it is down to sensei's discretion but there are a lot of 1st kyu's at the moment in our club waiting to grade and i don't want to be left behind, because then i will feel i wasn't good enough.

This is just so immensly important to me, it takes over sometimes so much that i have karate dreams every night

Again thanks for listening and your replies guys, i appreciate it heaps!

Kez

[bushido_man96]

I can understand how you feel about the mixed classes, Kez. Ours are mixed now a well, and in class tonight there were 2 adults, including me, and 3 kids; and it was sparring/kicking class. The important thing is to find creative ways to still learn and improve from working with the younger ones.

As for your instructor's comments, they are kind of out of line, but sometimes with instructors, it comes down to tough love. Don't let it discourage you; isn't that what studying the arts is about? Preservering and overcoming yourself. You NEVER fail until you STOP trying.

[Shotokan-kez]

thanks Bushido, i do totally see where your coming from. And it's funny because i have said similar things to people on the forums, then i find myself in the same situation, surreal really. But i guess we do all go through it.