Grrr...what should i have done?

[Shotokan-kez]

Me and my son Ryan arrive at karate tonight and go off to get changed. He was ready first and i said i would see him in the dojo. As i walked in i heard someone shout.."OI GET THE HELL DOWN OFF THERE". I looked up and realised it was some guy shouting at Ryan!

I was mortified. This guy's tone of voice was aggresive and i felt he had no right to speak to my son like that. Ryan was naughty though, he was sitting on one of the long radiators that go around the room.

This guy thinks he's ahead of everyone else, he bosses other students about, shouts at the kids and basically thinks he's brilliant....now as i see it he makes mistakes in his kata's and he also recently failed his black belt grading for making too many mistakes on basics and kata.

I didnt say anything right away, when he saw me walk to Ryan, and Ryan was a little upset in the corner i made a point of saying "are you ok mate". The guy then walked over and said to Ryan "you could have got your foot stuck behind the radiator". Basically he didnt realise he was my son and when he did he was worried by the looks i gave him.

All the kids sit on them. I'm not saying it's right but this guy just likes to make himself look big by shouting and showing authority. He is 1st kyu by the way.

All the way through the lesson i was angry, i had to partner with him and i resented him trying to tell me i was going wrong especially with me being the same grade...i wasn't doing it wrong at all he was! At the end of the class i told him what i thought about him shouting at my son like that and said if he had any kind of problem with him again to speak to me first before shooting his mouth off. He apologised saying that he was just concerned...but personally i don't buy that! What do you guys think? Am i over reacting? I have a serious issue with this guy!

Kez

[Pacificshore]

Maybe a lil over reacting. After all he was looking out for the best interest of your son. Perhaps his method in doing so was on the brash side, but he did apologize when you spoke to him about it. As for his training or understanding for his level, I say ignore him in that respect and go about your development, and when you pass your BB test, he will not have much room to speak

[bushido_man96]

Well, I think the initial overreaction came about when he took the tone that he did with your son. I have to get on kids at class at time as well, but I never use that heavy of a tone, and I try to choose my words carefully.

I can understand that you were angry. You could mention to the instructor the kind of actions this individual has been taking in and around class, if you are bothered about them. At the least, you may not have to partner with him again.

[Shotokan-kez]

yeah i suppose after sleeping on it i might be over reacting a little. I will be keeping an eye on this guy though.

[jaymac]

Actually, I thought you handled it quite well. I mean you could have raised your voice and swore at him as he did your son, but you didn't, you confronted him privately and quitely after class. In our dojo, we are not permitted to use any profanity. I know he only said "hell" but it was directed at a child who by the way was only sitting on a radiator. Ignore his imperfect technique and ignore his correcting you in class. You obviously are a more humble first kyu than him.

[RichardHangHong]

I think the guy had the right intentions (the safety of your son), but just went about it the wrong way. You certainly did the right thing in talking to him privately afterwards. If you feel so strongly about him it might be worth having a private word with your sensei. I'm sure the instructor is aware of his behaviour/attitude but it may help if someone speaks up about it.

[lordtariel]

I wouldn't be too concerned about him yelling, but I would have asked him to watch his language around children. Some people don't have an issue with using the word hell, but some do, and it's not for him to decide who does and who doesn't, especially in the dojo. If kids sitting on the radiators is an issue, maybe something needs to be done to either keep the kids from getting on them or making them aware of the dangers of getting on them.

[hurricane]

I can certainly understand how you reacted as far as your son is concerned. After all, you are a parent and being protective of your children is a good thing. Also I think it's really good that you approached him after class about it and didn't yell back.

About facing him in class: I've had to deal with situations like that before too. And I have come to the conclusion that I could use this for my training. Meaning: When you face him, try to get over about your dislike or the issues you have with him but focus on him as an opponent. Just like any other opponent. Because if you let your dislike take over, you might feel the urge to "teach him a lesson" which (at least for me) backfires a lot, just because I get so tense that I can't react fast enough any more. This works for scary opponents too, by the way.

[P.A.L]

yeah i suppose after sleeping on it i might be over reacting a little. I will be keeping an eye on this guy though.

is this the same guy you pulled his pants down?

[PlasmaShock]

I would talk to the sensei to straiten everything out.