Accepting back past students to the dojo?

[alsey]

We had a new little fella in on wednesday. The little guy was shy, nervous and a little scared. The warm-up took much longer because sensei was talking through every single exercise, telling him how it should be done, why and showing him how to do it in detail. The higher grades go along with this whole-heartedly because we all know we were there once, we all supported him and smiled at him ect. This is how it should be i think.

i think so too, though my sensei once told me i'm too nice to the beginners its always great though when you get the shy type person starting, and you see their confidence and strength build as they train.

[ps1]

Is your son still having trouble coping in the newer school? I've had similar problems with other schools. Don't worry about the other instructor as much, he has his motives (right or wrong) and you can not change that. Simply focus on your son and talk to him. Make sure he's not there because thats what he thinks you want.

[Shotokan-kez]

Is your son still having trouble coping in the newer school? I've had similar problems with other schools. Don't worry about the other instructor as much, he has his motives (right or wrong) and you can not change that. Simply focus on your son and talk to him. Make sure he's not there because thats what he thinks you want.

He didn't go to the newer school in the end because the instructor wouldn't take him back. He stayed where he was with me, we agreed that he just train once a week and see how he goes with it. He seems to be doing okay and enjoying it more. Sometimes though if he's playing outside with his friends he doesn't want to come, i don't force the issue and let him stay home if thats what he wants. You hit the nail on the head there, i think he does only do it to please me so i never force him to train if he doesnt want to.

[bushido_man96]

Good for you, Shotokan-kez. Forcing the issue just causes burnout faster. And as he matures, he may start to take a liking to it, and he could take off.

[ninjanurse]

Letting them (kids) be in control is a double edged sword. Kids have to learn self-discipline and comittment from somewhere and letting them not go to class sets a bad example and can hinder their growth as a martial artist. On the other hand, kids may learn to hate the martial arts and resent their parents (if they don't already) and you could lose a potentially great student if you force it. I have encountered both situations and have never found an easy solution. In many cases sitting down and talking about the kids goals, not the parents, helps open up communication about the whole thing and compromises can be made. In my own kids cases I made it well known from the beginning that they were making a committment to their goal (Black Belt and beyond) and I would do everything possible to help them achieve it-including taking them to class when they didn't want to go. They still love me too!

[eat_my_fudge]

You have every right to be annoyed, I mean all it shows is that that instructor loves his business more than his MA.

[Jiffy]

Ninjanurse, you hit the nail on the head. It's hard to find the balance between promoting self discipline/MA and allowing them freedom.

All you can do is help them to see why they should go to training, but if they really don't want to, I don't think you should force them.

[Shotokan-kez]

Letting them (kids) be in control is a double edged sword. Kids have to learn self-discipline and comittment from somewhere and letting them not go to class sets a bad example and can hinder their growth as a martial artist. On the other hand, kids may learn to hate the martial arts and resent their parents (if they don't already) and you could lose a potentially great student if you force it. I have encountered both situations and have never found an easy solution. In many cases sitting down and talking about the kids goals, not the parents, helps open up communication about the whole thing and compromises can be made. In my own kids cases I made it well known from the beginning that they were making a committment to their goal (Black Belt and beyond) and I would do everything possible to help them achieve it-including taking them to class when they didn't want to go. They still love me too!

I'm not going to make him go to class if he doesn't want to go, some people (child or adult) are meant for MA and some aren't. Whats the point in making our kids unhappy by forcing them to do something they don't want to do? I would love my son more than anything to be an exceptional martial artist and gain his black belt and much more, but thats for my own selfish reasons and not his own. I know in my heart it's something he likes but doesn't take seriously and if he wants to stay home and play with his friends then i support him.

[bushido_man96]

Letting them (kids) be in control is a double edged sword. Kids have to learn self-discipline and comittment from somewhere and letting them not go to class sets a bad example and can hinder their growth as a martial artist. On the other hand, kids may learn to hate the martial arts and resent their parents (if they don't already) and you could lose a potentially great student if you force it. I have encountered both situations and have never found an easy solution. In many cases sitting down and talking about the kids goals, not the parents, helps open up communication about the whole thing and compromises can be made. In my own kids cases I made it well known from the beginning that they were making a committment to their goal (Black Belt and beyond) and I would do everything possible to help them achieve it-including taking them to class when they didn't want to go. They still love me too!

I'm not going to make him go to class if he doesn't want to go, some people (child or adult) are meant for MA and some aren't. Whats the point in making our kids unhappy by forcing them to do something they don't want to do? I would love my son more than anything to be an exceptional martial artist and gain his black belt and much more, but thats for my own selfish reasons and not his own. I know in my heart it's something he likes but doesn't take seriously and if he wants to stay home and play with his friends then i support him.

This is something I have to deal with myself as well with my son. I want him to get into MA, and to do it with me, and have the chance to teach my own son.....you know, like a traditional family thing. But if he decides he doesn't want to, then I have to respect that, and support him in whatever it is he does. I also have a 10 year old daughter who did TDK for a while, but she doesn't anymore, but I am ok with it.

As much as we want them to follow in our own footsteps, we can only provide a guide, showing them different options. Eventually, they choose their own paths. We can't expect them to always share the same one as us, even though we want it. If they feel pressured to do something like this, they do it to make us (parents) happy, and not themselves. In the end, they don't enjoy it, and it isn't worthwhile to them. Not fair to them.