Accepting back past students to the dojo?

[Shotokan-kez]

I hope he does Patusai. In a way im kinda glad that he can't go back, because that would mean switching styles and i think that would just confuse him. I had no intention of going back myself and would have preffered it if we both did the same style anyway so we can train together and i can help him more.

[ninjanurse]

No child should be "punished" because the instructor has a problem with the parent-period. This is EGO and nothing more..and illustrates a complete lack of humility.

Yes, you have struck a nerve here!

[Shotokan-kez]

Ninjanurse he always seemed to have a big ego, i dont want to diss him too much but he was a bit big headed and had lots of money and stuff.

[RichardHangHong]

Sounds like the instructor was being very petty indeed. There would be certain circumstances where it would be perfectly valid to refuse re-entry but given what you've said about the whole situation I don't think there's any good reason at all.

I had a situation a couple of years ago where a father and son who trained with me were getting along just fine in training, but the son put little effort in and the father was extremely stiff. Both of them were 7th kyus and were both very eager to get their next belts. The son knew the basic pattern for his grade kata but put no effort into doing it properly and the father didn't know all of it and/or kept forgetting bits/making mistakes. Anyway, they'd been 7th kyus for a few months and then they disappeared. I was still in touch with them and the father had said they were having some family troubles so could not train for a while but would be back as soon as they could. I thought fair enough and left them to it, but still kept in contact as they were nice people.

I found out that they had both snuck off to go to another club similar in style to ours. When I asked him about it he said straight to my face that he wasn't training anywhere even though I said I didn't mind if he was. Also at this other club, the son was instantly given his 6th kyu and the father given 5th kyu. I was very shocked, for two reasons, 1) that they told me a bold faced lie about them going off to another club and 2) That the other club gave out 2 belts to a couple of students who obviously didn't know what they were doing and were nowhere near the standards required.

The dad popped into my dojo a while ago to say hello, his son had quit training because he was bored and the dad couldn't train because of an injured ankle. How much of that is actually true I don't know or really care, but needless to say, if they ever walk back into my dojo again wanting to train they'll be promptly asked to leave.

[RichardHangHong]

I've got a student who has been off for a few years and he came back for a month last year as a white belt then stopped again.

He still keeps in touch either by phone or on our website forum and is trying to get back into training but finds it very difficult as he suffers from depression (bi-polar or something similar). He knows we're all looking forward to seeing him in the dojo again.

[bushido_man96]

Sounds like the instructor was being very petty indeed. There would be certain circumstances where it would be perfectly valid to refuse re-entry but given what you've said about the whole situation I don't think there's any good reason at all.

I had a situation a couple of years ago where a father and son who trained with me were getting along just fine in training, but the son put little effort in and the father was extremely stiff. Both of them were 7th kyus and were both very eager to get their next belts. The son knew the basic pattern for his grade kata but put no effort into doing it properly and the father didn't know all of it and/or kept forgetting bits/making mistakes. Anyway, they'd been 7th kyus for a few months and then they disappeared. I was still in touch with them and the father had said they were having some family troubles so could not train for a while but would be back as soon as they could. I thought fair enough and left them to it, but still kept in contact as they were nice people.

I found out that they had both snuck off to go to another club similar in style to ours. When I asked him about it he said straight to my face that he wasn't training anywhere even though I said I didn't mind if he was. Also at this other club, the son was instantly given his 6th kyu and the father given 5th kyu. I was very shocked, for two reasons, 1) that they told me a bold faced lie about them going off to another club and 2) That the other club gave out 2 belts to a couple of students who obviously didn't know what they were doing and were nowhere near the standards required.

The dad popped into my dojo a while ago to say hello, his son had quit training because he was bored and the dad couldn't train because of an injured ankle. How much of that is actually true I don't know or really care, but needless to say, if they ever walk back into my dojo again wanting to train they'll be promptly asked to leave.

It is sad that it seems these students were looking for an easy way out. It is admirable that you said that you did not care that they were working out somewhere else, as well. I don't know many instructors like this.

[RichardHangHong]

I like people to be straight forward. If they just said that they were going to try out some other clubs for a little while I would have been fine with it. It's the whole cloak and dagger stuff that bugs me. If someone is honest with me, even if I don't like it, I'll respect them for being straight with me. But lying to my face or avoiding and hiding stuff loses my trust straight away and they find it very hard to regain my trust again for a long time.

[bushido_man96]

I like people to be straight forward. If they just said that they were going to try out some other clubs for a little while I would have been fine with it. It's the whole cloak and dagger stuff that bugs me. If someone is honest with me, even if I don't like it, I'll respect them for being straight with me. But lying to my face or avoiding and hiding stuff loses my trust straight away and they find it very hard to regain my trust again for a long time.

The value of integrity.

[RichardHangHong]

It is sad that it seems these students were looking for an easy way out. It is admirable that you said that you did not care that they were working out somewhere else, as well. I don't know many instructors like this.

It's called the Freedom of Association Act. I can't stop people from training elsewhere if they want to. A lot of clubs out there are so paranoid or insecure that they think if they let their students go and train in other places they'll quit and go over to that other club. Just look at GKR as a prime example. To stop their instructors (whatever low grade they may be) from leaving for a better club, they're not allowed to train with any other clubs. I think they even have to sign a contract to that fact too, but I can't be 100% sure.

I'm confident in letting my students train elsewhere. I even encourage it, from brown belt onwards only though. This is because I want the students to at least get some sort of solid foundation before they start mixing it up.

[Shotokan-kez]

Richard i completely see where your coming from. I had done shotokan for a long time when joining his shukokai club. The main reason i left there was because i wasn't reaching my full potential and rather than him checking out my skills and maybe doing an assessment i had to start from white belt again, this annoyed me a little because he didnt seem interested that i had many years of martial arts training in the past.

When we left i was very honest with him and told he exactly how i was feeling and why i was leaving the club. Even to the point of telling him that i was returing back to my old shotokan club. He never spoke to me again!

But i think he is being very petty taking it out on my son by not letting him return to train. Having said that Ryan came training with me on monday and did very well so i think he can stay where he is now anyway.

So yes i do totally understand where your coming from, this guy told you a bare faced lie which also shows disrespect. The only rule in our dojo that we train elsewhere is that we ask permission from sensei.