loyalty to my Instructor/husband

[Akaratechick]

I will be testing for black belt soon and will start teaching with the other Intstructors one of whom my husband, who is a sixth degree black belt and very resistant to change. Our class is a mixed age class and I feel like the adults need to be separated from the children at least under 12. We have many different views regarding teaching, marketing, styles and so forth. I feel obligated to the the organization to teach in this class but am wondering if a year or two is enough to teach before branching out to try to teach on my own. I realize I owe loyalty to the class especially because he is my husband but it will be hard to teach in a class where I am not in agreement with the way things are done. hmm, should have thought about that before I got married, I was a green belt then and hadn't really thought this far down the line. Any advice or insight would be appreciated.

[parkerlineage]

In my humble and inexperienced opinion, I would say that if it comes down to MA loyalties and your hustband, the decision should be obvious. Is there any way to just not teach in the class, or possibly talk him into seeing things the way you do, without causing unneccessary stress and conflict?

[Jiffy]

I face this situation on a daily basis. I am becoming the principle when it comes do business, but the final say still belongs to our chief instructor... my father. Him and I have some very different views on how things should be done...

For most things, we meet in the middle. We sit and discuss things and try to find some common ground. We go over them and write the pros and cons of each way, then we make a decision on them. Sometimes I get my way, sometimes we do it his way. It's a compramise.

I too am at that point now where I need to decide, am I going to do things for myself or continue to work together. I think we'd probably be better working together, but I need to monitor that. For me, it appears that the most logical solution is what I've pretty much decided I'm going to do as of next year. We will still run the club together as one club, but I will be opening classes in a completely different area. That will allow us to get a wider market and also allow a little more freedom in what we do while still maintaining the financial and organisational benefits of working together.

Hope this helps, if not, PM me.

[glockmeister]

I agree wholeheartedly, Children and adult should be seperated. I have seen schools where they are not and I think it makes it harder on both parties to learn. At least if we are talkign practical self defense and overall combatives. However, a husband and wife's loyalty should be to each other first and foremost at least in my own opinion. That is one of the tough things about a school where a couple trains and teach together, it can soemtimes cause a strain.

[Akaratechick]

you are right about my loyalty being to my husband first, it can get really tricky sometimes. The Instructors need to be on the same page regarding most things though. I am going to make sure I support him first and if he asks my opionin will give it to him. It is hard because I see so many things that would improve the classes.

[patusai]

I agree with Jiffy. The Chief Instructor is in charge and has the say. These ideas can be presented to the Chief instructor if there is a forum for such a thing.

[Shotokan-kez]

you are right about my loyalty being to my husband first, it can get really tricky sometimes. The Instructors need to be on the same page regarding most things though. I am going to make sure I support him first and if he asks my opionin will give it to him. It is hard because I see so many things that would improve the classes.

This seems to be a good idea, if you just give him your opinion, he may like it and maybe you could talk about...if not make him sleep on the sofa No seriously i can see where your coming from. We have kids and adults mixed classes and i hate it but there aren't enough students to split us all up. Good luck!

[alsey]

i hate it when adults and children are taught together, it just doesn't work in my experience. jiffy mentioned writing out pros and cons of various options; maybe you and your husband should do that and try and work something out.

i wouldn't consider teaching on your own yet if you're only just testing for black belt. my advice would be to stay at the current school for a year or two and see how things go. maybe sometime in the future you could start teaching somewhere on your own in addition to the current place with your husband.

[bushido_man96]

I think you should sit down and talk about this as well. Maybe you can come up with a compromise. There may also be a method to his madness, so to speak.

As far as talking about branching out, I would wait until you are at least a 2nd dan; the experience will be helpful. Also, the higher the rank you are, the more credibility prospective students will attach to you as a teacher.

Express your feelings privately first, and then talk about instructor meetings where you can all brainstorm ideas.

[KamasandSais]

every one agrees with jiffy