Walking the fine line

[parkerlineage]

Well, here I am in big, scary, Washington DC...

I come from a rather small town with an even smaller town mentality, where I lead a ridiculously sheltered life, in comparison with the general population of big cities.

After my incident with the crazy guy in Home Depot (thread- http://karateforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=27223), I realized that I needed to change my mentality on when to fight back. I let people go too far, and if they were really going to hit me, they may have been able to hit me before I could respond.

Especially since DC has a high crime rate (from what I hear), and because I'm here with my best friend (a 5', feisty but tiny girl), I decided I needed to be prepared to do whatever I thought necessary to maintain control of threatening situations - even more so because her mom gave me the mandate to be her daughter's "bodyguard."

Anywho, we were getting on the bus, and there was this drunk guy rambling at these two other guys, who finally got him to go away. I had just happened to turn my head, and unfortunately made eye contact with him, and sure enough, he started heading over toward the two of us. I gave my friend a little nudge to move her a step toward the bus, and stepped between her and this guy. She got on, and I started to get on, thanking my lucky stars that he hadn't reached us in time. And then, as my foot hit the first step, he grabbed my arm.

I tell you, it was going to be absolutely beautiful. I leaned my weight forward and jerked my arm from his grip, my head whipped around, my leg raised up and chambered, my hips torqued, and if he had stayed for half a second longer, my heel-hook to the temple - which is dojo renowned for leaving throbbing headaches when pulled - would have left him unconscious on the sidewalk. Lucky for him, the doors of the bus shut behind me, nearly pinning my leg in them, but I pulled back in time.

I had the adrenaline surge again, but this time, it was more controlled, like I knew it was coming, and was ready to handle it. Would it have been right, to lay out some drunk who mistakenly grabbed someone he shouldn't have? I don't know (that's kind of my question). Would I have felt remorse - I doubt it. Chivalry is something I try to keep in the forefront of my training, and if somebody threatens to hurt my friends, let alone my girl friends, let alone my best friend - you bet they're going down.

Is this the right state of my to be in, or am I paranoid? Would it have been okay if I had leveled him, or at least stunned him, with a kick like that? What do you guys think...

[alsey]

i see it like this. if someone invades my personal space, they've given up their right for me to respect them. invading my personal space means grabbing me, poking me, pushing me or just stepping up into my face. basically if someone does one of those things to me, they're getting a whack across the jaw and a kick in the knee. i don't care whether they intended to injure me or not, grabbing me or whatever is an aggressive action and if someone does that, they should be prepared to suffer the consequences. i will always try to avoid a fight if i can (and i've gotten quite good at it), but once aggressive physical contact is made, i teach them a lesson.

if he grabbed you, and if you had kicked him in the head and killed him, i would say that's ok. he shouldn't have grabbed you. for all you know, as soon as he's grabbed you he could have put a knife through you. of course, you have to decide what your own ethics are.

you should decide on a 'line' which no one will cross. for me the line is invading my personal space as i described above. once someone crosses your line, you lay down the law!

[parkerlineage]

^Harsh, but logical.

you should decide on a 'line' which no one will cross. for me the line is invading my personal space as i described above. once someone crosses your line, you lay down the law!

I like it! I will certainly do that, and stick to it. In fact, do you mind if I pretty much quote that verbatim in the classes I teach?

[bushido_man96]

I think your reaction was appropriate. Good to stay on your toes.

[Shotokan-kez]

You had good reactions. I am useless in situations like that, i don't have much confidence and tend to freeze. I think you handled it very well, at the end of the day you felt threatend and you were protecting yourself and of course your best friend...i wish i had a best friend like that i can tell you. Good for you hun!

[alsey]

you should decide on a 'line' which no one will cross. for me the line is invading my personal space as i described above. once someone crosses your line, you lay down the law!

I like it! I will certainly do that, and stick to it. In fact, do you mind if I pretty much quote that verbatim in the classes I teach?

yeah sure, as long as your line is reasonable. something like 'as soon as someone looks at me, i pull out the ninja skills!' clearly wouldn't be appropriate

[cathal]

Aside from what has been said so far, take a look at your own actions leading up to this. Did you make eye contact because you wanted to? Subconciously, you wanted to test yourself, perhaps to see how aware and how quick to react you can be?

It's OK to feel pumped after something like this, it's natural. It's also OK to have a boost in self confidence because you felt prepared and ready to react. In the end of a situation like this where no violence occured the thing to do now is reflect not on what happened during the altercation but in just before it occurred.

[BLueDevil]

Sounds like the right course of action, BTW I read your Home Depot story, I used to work at HD and let me tell you people like that are normal. I got it almost on a weekly sometimes more basis.

Getting back to the topic, like I said I agree with what you did, there was NO reason to grab you in that situation. I have somewhat of a temper in that situation so I would have found myself off the bus pounding someone(probably not but you never know) So you did good

[Shui Tora]

In my view, if someone invades my space, then I tell then to get out of my way/space, and if they still don't listen then it is a quick kick to the chin and a tate-zuki in the collar bone.

I give people one chance, if they don't get the hint; then that is what happens. However, I use diplomacy first, and then violence; it isn't always the answer to everything...

[Red J]

I think your reaction was appropriate. Good to stay on your toes.

I'll go with this answer.

Taking him out would have more legal consequences than you would really want to deal with. The real point to this story is that maybe the guy did you a favor. Its another little test that you passed, this time with more control. The fact that you know that you could have protected yourself is a better proposition than you having to explain to the police why you kicked some guy in the temple who may have tripped getting on the bus (he could say that).

Chalk it up as part of your ongoing training.