Someone Likes me in the dojo....HELP!!!

[Shotokan-kez]

Yeah i like that idea to! I do see him more of a father figure and as i said before i look up to him and respect him because of his status, he is basically where i wanna be. I can feel him flirting and it is flattering but it's just a no go! He seems to be looking out for me a bit, i'm going for 1st kyu in two weeks and he has been helping me out before lessons, which again will make things awkward. I am going to take that advice and tell him before we go out and invite everyone else along. That will take away any tension and then it's up to him weather he comes along. Also if i invite everyone else he will realise i don't want to be with him.

Thank you!!!!!

[IcemanSK]

It sounds like you handled it in a good way. You want to keep it a professional/family type relationship & (thankfully) he understands & agrees.

I wish you all the success in your continued training. That conversation was not an easy one to have. You handled yourself very well.

[parkerlineage]

Hope everything works out for you!

I have no advice - in my short two-year dating record, I've been a miserable flop.

But, good luck!

[KarateK]

I would take the opportunity when he takes you home to do it your way - theres no point coming up with elaborate stories of gf's etc if you are not normally the type of person who lies. Depending on your relationship with him I think you will know the best way to let him down gently.

[Jiffy]

I think you need to remember here, you're not out there to hurt the guys feelings, just to decline any romance.

As someone said, you don't owe him anything either. Just because the guy is interested in you, there is no need to dis-respect him, it's a normal reaction.

If you want to go out with him, then go. Just make sure he understands that it is friends only. If he is still happy with that, then there is no problems in a couple of friends having some drinks. If he pushes again, politely decline and advise that you are not interested in romance or extra-curricular activities with him, but are more than happy to remain good friends. You can do that politely and still not need to give him any further reasons. As well, you can maintain your friendship because he maintains his dignity. Everyone wins.

[usc96]

If a girl told me she was into girls my ego wouldn't be bruised. I'd probably treat her like one of the guys (this is a good thing) from that point on.

[danbong]

You should not have to come up with a reason for why you don't want to go out with him, you should just have to tell him you are not interested in dating him.

[Shotokan-kez]

Cheers guys lots of good points. I haven't seen him yet, he wasn't in training in monday, but i've no doubt i will see him on friday, in the hope we are going out for a beer.

[Jiffy]

Good luck, and remember, if you both save your dignity, you can still be friends.

[Akaratechick]

There can be some serious testosterone flying around dojos, I remember when I first started getting asked out at every promotion, I finally married my instructor, I mean where else does a guy get to be a guy? but seriously, if you are pretty they will notice, regardless of how old they are, they are men. I would not go out for the drink but take him aside and let him know how flattered you are that he asked you, but you aren't interested. I think you will feel better if you nip it. You might save him some embarrasment as well. Egos sometimes bruise easily although the body may not.