My son is having problems

[P.A.L]

show him wat would happen if u do a sloppy stance. tell him 2 do a front stance and correct it or push him 2 show him how unstable his stances r.

this is a 9 years old kid, what you guys expect from him, in our dojo some times i stop by kids class from 7-12 and i have seen every single of them crying after sparring, everything about them is sloppy but they have another 10 years ahead of them to their act together.

[getawaytkd]

i dont think sensei's expect much from younger students

[Rateh]

Kids are perfectly capable of good technique. I agree many senseis dont expect as much as they should from their children.

As far as the son, let him go at his own pace, test when HE is ready, not when time is up. Theres nothing wrong with taking your time through the ranks, in fact its much better to do taht then advance when you are having trouble with ur basic material.

[Brandon Fisher]

I look at the student and don't generalize it. Some 9 year olds can simply out perform some 15 year olds but not not all the time.

[KarateK]

WOW

You guys can be harsh!!

At 9 years old and having the pressure of having a mum in the same club is tough enough, having her be a higher grade then him is even tougher. Then to be struggling yourself with basic stances etc must be awful for the poor lad.

I think that this is a problem with a lot of MA clubs. Too much pressure is put on children when they are at a time in their lives when they should be doing things for the fun of it. They have plenty of years ahead of them where they have to work for things - why can't we just let kids be kids??

[Sohan]

WOW

You guys can be harsh!!

At 9 years old and having the pressure of having a mum in the same club is tough enough, having her be a higher grade then him is even tougher. Then to be struggling yourself with basic stances etc must be awful for the poor lad.

I think that this is a problem with a lot of MA clubs. Too much pressure is put on children when they are at a time in their lives when they should be doing things for the fun of it. They have plenty of years ahead of them where they have to work for things - why can't we just let kids be kids??

KarateK, I completely agree with you for the most part--you certainly would have a keen perspective on this. Doesn't your mom teach at your school?

But I do think that our expectations ought to be somewhat different in karate than in other sports for kids. Parents bring their kids to karate for reasons other than just fitness and self-defense; many bring them because of the discipline and self-esteem they derive from regular MA practice. I think that depending on our approach with the children, these goals can be achieved, but we need some patience and understanding. MA requires more discipline than many other sports like soccer or baseball and children of that age typically don't possess it in sufficient amounts--though they usually respond well to the right instruction.

With respect,

Sohan

[KarateK]

Yes Sohan she does

I understand what you are getting at - from personal experience though I started karate at 7. My dad actually started me going as I was getting picked on at school. They forced me to go, and when I couldnt quite get it I soon really started to hate karate. To my disadvantage I quit. Only started again about 2 years ago and absolutely love it now. My point simply being that there are better ways to give your children more self esteem than learning an MA

[jay46]

WOW

You guys can be harsh!!

At 9 years old and having the pressure of having a mum in the same club is tough enough, having her be a higher grade then him is even tougher. Then to be struggling yourself with basic stances etc must be awful for the poor lad.

I think that this is a problem with a lot of MA clubs. Too much pressure is put on children when they are at a time in their lives when they should be doing things for the fun of it. They have plenty of years ahead of them where they have to work for things - why can't we just let kids be kids??

How about if your 9 year old soon-to-be nikyu is in the same dojo as his older sister, mom and dad? My kids are one rank above us. I'm sure it helps that the wife and I are kohei.

Most times his stances are sloppy. Sometimes his kata is ragged. Nevertheless, he almost always shows spirt, intensity and focus when executing. His technique might be wanting but he tries. He seems to enjoy being there and that is what is important.

During the kids class in our dojo the serious stuff has some fun and games is interspersed with it. Remember that play is an important part of learning grown up tasks. Like in kata there are hidden messages in some of games we play.

OP, just remember your son is only 9. He might not be able to perfectly translate what he sees and what he knows into what he does. If he's not enjoying himself at all then try finding out why. The pressure to grade may be a bit much on him. You should talk to your sensei privately about the situation. It's tough coaching 3rd graders and even tougher when the athlete is your own kid. Remember at 9 they think they know everything.

[KarateK]

Lol my daughter is 7 and KNOWS she knows everything!!!

[patusai]

He may be trying too hard to please you, and feels it's not worthwhile if he can't meet your standards. Remember, children sometimes need to learn at their own pace. They also need to experience the inevitable consequences of their efforts when they don't give 100%. Let your child make his own experience and don't protect or coddle him, and he will likely thrive. This is how I approach my 7 yr old, who is also a yellow belt and is soon to test for orange.

With respect,

Sohan

Very well put. Your son is 9 years old. Here's wishing both of you the best of luck.