My son is having problems

[Shotokan-kez]

Yeah lots of good advice. I really don't want him to quit, and he doesn't want to either he just has little confidence and gets upset when he gets it wrong. I will let him grade this time, i think he will pass but by the skin of his teeth. I think i may have a word with sensei see about him maybe grading every six months instead of every three. It's going to get a lot harder for him now, even i'm finding mine difficult.

[Brandon Fisher]

The only question you need to ask yourself "Is he having fun". I believe for kids this is the greatest factor. Techniques will come. Stances will come. The key is to want him to keep with it and the only way that will happen is if he is having fun.

Very well said. I love teaching kids but pushing the stances and all to the point where its not fun for them will not keep them involved. My stances and technique came together when I was about 15 or 16 and I had a great role model I was training under. He didn't drill us he just sit the example. All the drills and kata practice he did with us.

[The Karate Kid]

I think you should let him do it on his own and if he fails his grading he will do one of 2 things, 1 is think ok i must try harder and next time he will give it his heart and soul or 2 he will think ok forget this and quit. i hope he does ok

[Shotokan-kez]

I think he will probably burst into tears if he fails because he keeps telling me how rubbish he is with karate, i have to keep telling him to stop putting himself down!!

[lilkarate75]

there r 2 things he needs: focus and discipline.

[lilkarate75]

show him wat would happen if u do a sloppy stance. tell him 2 do a front stance and correct it or push him 2 show him how unstable his stances r.

[Brandon Fisher]

Are you sure he understands how to perform the stances?

[CheekyMusician]

I can understand what everyone is saying about making it fun for him, but at 9 and half-way through his Kyu grades I think that is is more or less beyond the stage of being 'fun'.

I think you should take him aside and point out to him that from this point on things are going to keep getting harder, but that you'll be proud of him if you see him TRYING, not flying through belts. Again, give him the chance to leave karate, but stress how disappointed you'd be if he chose to quit just because things were becoming difficult, but that you could understand him quitting if he was only involved in martial arts because it was what you wanted and not what he wanted.

I think at 9 he's starting to reach that age where he can begin to become responsible for his own actions, and at 9 he's also old enough to start learning about perseverance and self-discipline. It can still be fun. He can spar with his dear old dad, or as someone else mentioned play games of testing his stances by pushing him over and getting him to do the same for you, but I also think at the age of 9 its about time that the mollycoddling kiddy karate is phased out and you start to introduce 'proper' martial arts.

[Killer Miller]

I use to teach a lot of kids.

1st, their attention span at that age is only about 15 minutes, 30 minutes max. I think too much is being expected from him. If you can't teach it to him/her in the first 30 minutes, they are not going to get it no matter what you do...

2. Only expect them to learn the outside movements.

3. Focus primarily on breathing aspect of karate. If they truly understand the breathing aspect, and learn to develop the inside feeling of muscle contraction, expansion, etc., all of the outside movements will rapidly fall into place naturally.

- Killer -

[Kieran-Lilith]

The boy is nine years old. Kids that age can focus for more than half an hour. I'm not going to say I have the most experience teaching, because I don't. I do know that kids can do a lot more than you give them credit for if you set a higher standard. At nine, he should probably understand that what he learns can hurt people and he is responsible for his own actions. He should be expected to focus for longer because of the fact that he could unintenionally hurt someone.

Regardless, though, if the kid doesn't really enjoy it, it's probably better for him if he stops rather than forces himself to keep going. People who force themselves to keep going have this nasty tendancy of developing a deep dislike of martial arts. I know several people like that, actually.