in distress with lots of problems

[distress]

hey,

I have a major problem which is most common on this site but i'm gonna post it anyways. I am 13 years of age and am 145-150 pounds and its a problem. I don't have friends and am called fat at school which is beginning to make me not come to school. I try running but as soon as my brother,uncle,mom,dad or someone comes down they laugh and i just feel terrible so i stop. I live with a indian family and they don't make salads and I am also a vegetarian. I eat lots of soy burgers and soy beans but i eat them with cheese, in bread and salad and tomato. In a month it's gonna be my uncles reception and i'm gonna do a dance for him but i wanna actually look resonable and not get all these taunts and crap later. I feel like breaking down but i'm trying to hold up. Plz help!

[Mr. Mike]

dude, I lived with your pain for years, so I know what you are going through...first off, you can't expect accomplish a complete body makeover in one month, so don't set yourself up for failure. Just do your best...your uncle isn't going to be thinking "haha that fat kid, what is he trying to do with that silly dance." Dude, your uncle is going to be extremely proud that you are dedicating something of value to him.

Just go and make your family proud.

After that...why a martial arts board with this question, or are you just covering your bases? Do you currently do any martial arts? If so, what kind?

I also skipped alot of school because I hated the kids bullying me. They called me fat hog, porky, gordo, fat boy, rolls, boy with boobs, and alot of other nasty things. You're right, it hurts. It stings and you want to avoid it like the flu. But you need to know that you shouldn't miss school because of it. Your education will define you as a person in your adult years. Make the most of it, and always make yourself proud with your knowledge, and love for learning.

People are always going to pick on you...don't bother with them. They are weaklings that have to make up for their own shortcomings by tearing others down. You don't need to take what they say seriously. They have no idea what it's like to be overweight...they are like they are, and they think that anybody less is inferior to them.

Being overweight most of my life has built HUGE character in me. I can brush off pretty much anything. You will too, but you must learn how. At your age, however, your peers are brutal. They rip on everybody for everything. Everybody has something about themselves that they don't like and these brutal little jerks take advantage of that.

Lemme guess what you are worried about at your age...people point and laugh, even a few call you names.

Girls don't look at you because you aren't in the popular crowd.

You don't get the coolest clothes bacause they are only for the skinny people(although that's changing these days).

You may think that people see you as lazy and sloppy and that all you do is eat junkfood and play videogames all day.

Guess what...who cares what people call you...they have issues themselves, which is why they pick on you, so you don't have a chance to do it to them first...one guy might have a dad that beats on him, or may come from a broken home with an alcoholic mother, or maybe he is a bedwetter...whatever the case is, just don't let it get to you.

As for the Girls...man, don't even let that worry you. When you get to high school, all that changes. You'll meet somebody and it'll work out. When I got to high school, I got dates, but I also had to find the courage to ask, which isn't easy.

As for the clothes, well lemme tell you what kind of scars are left by being a fat kid and the only kind of jeans that fit your have a huge label on the butt that reads HUSKY. That was heinous. Dude, I was a walking billboard for getting laughed at. But I've been to the stores these days, and you can get decent clothes in the larger sizes...ones that don't announce, "Hey, here comes HUSKY MIKE!"

As for the people who may think you are lazy and all you do is sit around and eat junkfood all day...you have the power to change that. Talk to your parents about your concerns with the food choices...if you want, give me their email, and I'll talk to them. They might not even know that you want fresh fruits and lean meats, and things like that. Also, and this is the biggest life changing choice here, get out and do things...it doesn't have to be running(and don't listen to the people laughing at you about that...I do it every morning, do I look graceful? No! not at 6'2" and 265lbs I don't, I look more like a bowl of jelly getting thrown at a plate glass window, but guess what, I'm able to go a bit farther each time before I stop. I'm also feeling better every day) you can walk the dog, or learn tennis...anything.

My parents didn't have alot of money when I was your age either, so I started by filling up empty milk jugs with water and lifting those, and doing squats, and jumping jacks, and jumping rope(it takes awhile to learn, but once you do, it's alot of fun). I also rode my skateboard alot. I walked home from school every afternoon, and that was about 3 miles. I also went out for football, and there was a decent amount of structured excercise with every daily practice, running, calisthenics, etc. Oh and guess who the cheerleaders date...the football players!

You might also want to look into the wrestling team...it's a great discipline to learn, I wish I had.

The point is, you might feel down about yourself, but don't. Life gets better, but you have to make it that way. Do I sometimes feel bad about myself and eat a couple of bowls of ice cream and a bag of doritos? Sure do, we all slip every now and then, but oh well, it just makes me try harder next time.

I guess I got a bit longwinded, but I feel for you. I keep saying "when I was your age" but don't think I'm all that old...I'm barely more than twice your age. When I was 13, I was 5'9 and weighed 230 lbs. I've been there, and it isn't easy, but you're on your way to betterness just by asking for some help and suggestions. I hope all goes well for you and you get something from this.

If you keep your face to the sunshine, you will not see the shadows.

Godspeed.

[bruceflea]

hey,

I have a major problem which is most common on this site but i'm gonna post it anyways. I am 13 years of age and am 145-150 pounds and its a problem. I don't have friends and am called fat at school which is beginning to make me not come to school. I try running but as soon as my brother,uncle,mom,dad or someone comes down they laugh and i just feel terrible so i stop. I live with a indian family and they don't make salads and I am also a vegetarian. I eat lots of soy burgers and soy beans but i eat them with cheese, in bread and salad and tomato. In a month it's gonna be my uncles reception and i'm gonna do a dance for him but i wanna actually look resonable and not get all these taunts and crap later. I feel like breaking down but i'm trying to hold up. Plz help!

Its a difficult one. Firs,t your 13 so your still growing, i know it sounds corny but you may be carrying alot of puppy fat. Try with your diet but dont become obsessed. Your apperance will change and mature as you get older, natrually.

Try to do some push ups and shadow boxing. And listen, screw those who laugh...they dont have it in them and those who mock usaully have big insecurities with themselves.Keep jogging. I know its hard but just keep going.

Remeber it is a gradual process, dont expect superhuman results otherwise you'll become bored with trying. Exercise and LIFE is fun. Stay positive and on track man.

P.s...when you shadow box, try to get up to 3minute rounds...a real burner!!

[bruceflea]

hey,

I have a major problem which is most common on this site but i'm gonna post it anyways. I am 13 years of age and am 145-150 pounds and its a problem. I don't have friends and am called fat at school which is beginning to make me not come to school. I try running but as soon as my brother,uncle,mom,dad or someone comes down they laugh and i just feel terrible so i stop. I live with a indian family and they don't make salads and I am also a vegetarian. I eat lots of soy burgers and soy beans but i eat them with cheese, in bread and salad and tomato. In a month it's gonna be my uncles reception and i'm gonna do a dance for him but i wanna actually look resonable and not get all these taunts and crap later. I feel like breaking down but i'm trying to hold up. Plz help!

Its a difficult one. Firs,t your 13 so your still growing, i know it sounds corny but you may be carrying alot of puppy fat. Try with your diet but dont become obsessed. Your apperance will change and mature as you get older, natrually.

Try to do some push ups and shadow boxing. And listen, screw those who laugh...they dont have it in them and those who mock usaully have big insecurities with themselves.Keep jogging. I know its hard but just keep going.

Remeber it is a gradual process, dont expect superhuman results otherwise you'll become bored with trying. Exercise and LIFE is fun. Stay positive and on track man.

P.s...when you shadow box, try to get up to 3minute rounds...a real burner!!

I hope you spell better than me!!!

[distress]

Thanks alot! it helped and now i'll just ignore those guys. Thanks oh and I wanted to sign up for karate but i was afraid i would get laughed at thanks!

[bruceflea]

Thanks alot! it helped and now i'll just ignore those guys. Thanks oh and I wanted to sign up for karate but i was afraid i would get laughed at thanks!

No worries...joining a class in ANY style, karate, boxing etc...is great for health, fitness and confidence!! Also a great way to meet like minded-people , make friends and have fun.

Good luck to you!

[distress]

Thanks for the help and confidence. I am going to go sign up for karate and hopefully raise my confidence more. Thanks again u guys!