Take these two thoughts into mind.

 

1. When you walk across an intersection half of the trucks say dodge on them the others don't give warning and just say RAM!

 

2. In pro is the opposite on con then the opposite of progress must be congress.

 

 

Nice use of play-on words, Shakespear.

 

If a butthead is a person talking out of their as$, then why can't they fart out of their mouth.

 

I must have alot of time on my hands to be typing this. Not really, I'm just good at procrastinating.

 

 

Maybe a burb with kimchee breath is something akin to emitting flatus with the mouth.

 

 

(smiling) I love kimchee. Offering kimchee: A good way to detour unwanted guest.

I read in a record book once that the shortest sentance in the English language is, "I am."

 

 

 

Could it be that "I go." is the longest?

 

The shortest poem is one called Fleas. It goes:

 

Adam

 

had 'em

My favorite short joke:

 

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch."

 

I tried for ten minutes to explain it to my grandma, but she just didn't get it.

If a particular medicine or drug has many side effects, why get other medicines or drugs to counter those side effects? Then those medicines or drugs have other side effects , why get .........

Why do we drive our cars on a parkway, but we park in a drive way?

 

Why are things sent by ship call cargo, but if they're sent sent by a truck they are call shipment? Shouldn't it be called a "truckment"?

 

A thermos can keep things hot and it can keep things cold, but how does it know when to do which?

 

And my personal favorite from Steven Wright: I you were going the speed of light of light in your car, and then you turned your lights on, would they do anything?