Help! People dissing other dojos....

[Treebranch]

TKD came from Karate and is one of the most saturated MA's in the world. It's O.K. for him to be excited about his art, but to put yours down is ignorant. You seem like you have experience so don't let it bother you. See him as if he is a child, it shouldn't bother you. Just ignore him and keep training.

[italian_guy]

Anyhow if someone trains for the belt sooner or later he will end up in a belt factory.... that's because he will start to make calculations like the one made by jarretmeyer.... ok maybe he was just joking... but somebody else may not.

 

This isn't true. Some people will only appreciate a belt if they know how hard they had to work to get it - as a true symbol of everything they have achieved. What kind of kick would I get from my instructor handing me a new belt every week regardless of whether I try or not?

 

You can still train for the belt and not lose focus on what that belt symbolises.

I do not dislike the belt system and everything that the belt system means.

 

But if the belt color is your main focus, you will, sooner or later, optimize your training with that focus in mind and what jarrettmeyer said (as a joke as he's clarifing) becomes to be somehow logical. Why go to the dojo where with hard training I get a Black belt in 5 or more years, if I can go to another dojo where I can get the same black belt with less intense training in 2 years?

[jarrettmeyer]

Why go to the dojo where with hard training I get a Black belt in 5 or more years, if I can go to another dojo where I can get the same black belt with less intense training in 2 years?

 

The bigger point is that the only person that you have to answer to is yourself. What does that belt mean to you? Does really just keep your gi closed? Does it represent time, technique, progress, sweat, sometimes tears? I have earned a tip on my white belt. I am really proud of that. It means something to me.

 

When all is said and done, the only person you must ever answer to is yourself.

[italian_guy]

As I said, I do not dislike the belt system with all its meanings. I take belt tests just as many people here and I'm happy when I pass. But IMHO it should not be the main focus of my training otherwise it may create distortions...

[Treebranch]

So if someone told you it would take 20 years to get your black belt would you still train? What if they told you probably would get it in a year? Would you think that MA was any good? I'm an artist, I draw, I paint, I sculpt. I went to school and have my degree in fine art. Does that make me an expert? Should I assume I have no more to learn? Who cares about the belt. The real reason behind the belt is so your instructor know how far along you've come and you can help him instruct someone below you. Also so that your instructor doesn't teach you the same thing over and over. In drawing I saw improvement when I applied myself and my drawing got better and better. I still feel after all these years that I have a long way to go. That's how you should feel until you die. First learn your craft and then make art with your skills.

[KarateChick06]

Let him have any opinions he wants to.....heres the key question.....Are you happy with what you do ?....if so....thats all that matters....you train for you....no one else......in time, provided that his teachers are worth their salt so to speak....hell get more of an education aside from punches and kicks....he'll hopefully learn that his current attitude and behavior is out of line, and maybe he'll change....maybe he'll even offer you the apology that he should....then again....maybe not.....either way......let all of his babbling pass in one ear and out the other.....preserve your friendships at all costs, and just keep doing your thing at your dojo......when he goes off on his rants....ask him if you can come and see the differences that he so loudly boasts about.....not in a challenging or confrontational way......but in a way that shows a healthy curiousity for the possibility of learning something new......just go with the flow.....let him rant and rave about whatever.......so its annoying....whatever.....thats not the end of the world........

 

Exactly. Offer to visit his dojo and watch them do their thing, while inviting him to watch yours, as he's never watched. Maybe make an agreement to watch each others' classes, something to expose him to what you do. Also, Shane had a good point when he said that this guy needs to have respect for and an open mind to other styles, as most martail artists are taught.

 

Yes, I did watch his class......3 times. I also asked him to come watch my class, but he hasn't come.

[KarateChick06]

You seem like you have experience so don't let it bother you.

 

Thanks.

Let him know next time that martial arts are about bettering oneself rather it be for self-defense, fitness, self confidence whatever. What might work for you might not work for me, what you enjoy I might not. Let him know that your totally satisfied with your dojo and the training methods of your school and they fit you, and you dont really care if they fit him or not but you enjoy it. Let him know that his Instructors have their way of training and your Instructors of their own way of teaching.

 

That's a good idea. I might just do that....

 

 

because if you are happy there is no real reason for you to be annoyed but if you are unhappy the fact that what he said about your dojo annoys you is because you are insecure.

 

I seriously doubt its that he is bragging about his school and knocking yours.

 

No, I'm more than happy with my dojo, and I have plenty self-confidence. It is just like a kid saying "My dad can beat up your dad." I don't want to say the same thing back, but have you ever seen a kid respond by just ignoring him? It looks like he's agreeing with the first kid. Maybe that's it..... does he think I really do want to join TKD because I've never given him reason not to? Hmm....

"Belt hold up pants....get on mat and train".....

 

spar him in medium contact and show him what the martial arts are about.

 

Hahahahahahaha!!!!

 

Thanks for the advice everybody! I guess I'll just try to ignore him, and if I must say something to the effect of "So glad you like your place. I love mine, too." Thanks again.

 

PS Just curious, but how many of you have been in the same predicament?

[Luckykboxer]

I have only had one person ever tell me their style was better then mine.

 

It was a Shito Ru Black Belt.

 

His explanation was because his art had a longer history then my american kenpo.

 

After discussing the reasoning I invited him to a class, he said he still wasnt impressed so I asked what would impress him. He stated when we hit over 100 years old he would then start to give us credit.

 

Obviously someone like this is never going to be happy.

 

No skin off my back.

 

I find the biggest problem i run into is making sure that students of my art are not bad mouthing other styles.

 

unfortunately there are several schools that are a bit weaker in tournaments for various reasons, and sometimes its hard to explain to a kids between the ages of 6 - 18 that its just different not inferior

[pvwingchun]

IMO belts mean nothing except to those who hold it. We don't do belts. The problem is som many places are just belt factories anymore it is hard to judge.

 

As for the bad mouthing of other clubs and schools I simply will not tolerate it from my students and should I get wind of it then it is grounds for dismissal. Healthy debate and discussing the differences are one thing but to talk bad about another style is not in my rules and is not tolerated......

[Red J]

If a friend offends you once ignore it. If it happens repeatedly have enough respect for him to let him know. Wouldn't you want the same in return? He might think that he is being funny and that you are amused.

 

Or....Have him read this post.

 

I have always found it best to be honest with people that I call friends.