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Crushed


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I agree to most of the things been said here.

 

Just remind failure is part of every human enterprise and in MA failure is not definive. You will have always a second chance so work hard for it and try to learn as much as you can from this hard lesson. It's just like when you lose in sparring, it hurts, but it gives you the opportunity to do better next time if you know what was wrong. So take a little rest (not too much) and start again.

 

Do not worry what the other will think about you. MA is a personal journey.

 

Yours in MA.

 

Italian_guy :karate:

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Zuluking,

 

There has been a lot of support going out to you on this thread, as you probably can see, and I think that is the greatest thing about this forum. I jsut have one question. Will you try again?

Sunrunner


"train until the art becomes an artless art, flowing from the unconscious."

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Thanks guys. I worked out last night for the first time since the test, and it felt good. I've already scheduled the next test on Friday the 13th! GULP! :o

That's the way to go :up:

 

13th of what?

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Good luck ZuluKing!

 

Don't give up hope - keep on persevereing. Hold your head high and give it your best attempt whilst taking the test. If you put every amount of effort and energy you have into it then you've already passed your own mental test.

 

:karate:

"Was it really worth it? Only time and death may ever tell..." The Beautiful South - The Rose of My Cologne


Sheffield Steelers!

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Good luck in advance. :)

~Erin


9th Kyu


"Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft."

~ Theodore Roosevelt

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whatever happens to you in this life...Get back up and go on!! It's ok to lose sometimes! We all do and it's a learning thing. S'ok man...cheer up!

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You have experienced a definate turning point in your training. At a point like this you re-evaluate how much you really want to continue. Those who have the heart of a black belt pick themselves up and keep going. And there are no maximum time limits to spend in any one grade. We all proceed at our own speed. I was a green belt for two years.

 

Many of us have reasons why it takes us longer to attain a grade or why we work so much harder than our classmates to get there. It is our heart that makes the difference.

I've been taking American Shotokan karate for 2 years. I work out hard 4-5 days a week, practice at home, and stay after class for extra training. Friday night I tested for my 1st degree Brown Belt. I failed.

 

According to my Shihan, my stances wern't deep enough, my techniques weren't smooth enough, my grappling sucked, and apparently I didn't spar hard enough. And yet, I gave 100 percent. I left everything on the mat. Its been over 30 hours since the test and I'm still sore as hell, tired as hell, and mentally drained. I haven't slept except for a 3 hour nap this afternoon. It's 2 in the morning, and I'm devestated. I've never failed at anything in my life.

 

I'm mad as hell. The test wasn't fair. My Sensai didn't train me correctly. I'm old, fat, un-athletic, and have no business practicing karate. All of these thoughts are running through my head.

 

I love martial arts. I love training and working up a lather. I love learning a new technique, that "lightbulb" moment when you "get it" and perform it just like you were taught.

 

I hate testing. Right now I just want to learn more karate and never bother with testing again. Brown belt, Black belt. Who cares? I'll show up for class, learn karate, and that'll be that.

 

I'm an emotional wreck. I fight back tears as I write this. My wife is worried about me. I told her I'd be okay, but I can tell she's worried. She knows me well enough that she's been keeping her distance.

 

I can't sleep. Everytime I lay down I re-play the test over and over in my mind. I'm wondering how I'm going to go to class Monday and not break down and cry when I see my classmates.

 

I'm going to try valium now. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep.

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