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Thanks, Aodhan. I appreciate your reply. This is about where I'm at now. I'm trying to bat all of the excuses out of my way, like lack of knowledge (on how to train solo, find a training partner), etc. But it already feels really good just to be doing something. I like what you said about college, too; I've noticed that this sort of attitude spills over into all the areas of your life, not just martial arts, for example. Thanks again.

Thanks for the tip, I will definitely read up on it. Well, I was looking for more specific help. I don't want to belittle CloudDragon in any way. I just can't count the number of people I've met who are willing to tell anyone to "hang in there and just do it!" Also, I imagine that, working as a mental health professional, it's probably frustrating to see the same problems over and over, when the solution seems so simple. Probably makes you want to scream. I understand that, but I have learned through hours of therapy, introspection, and service that each must find his/her own path, and that can rarely be condensed into a few phrases. In fact, I have completed 7 journals since my college years, and I still recover a lot of wisdom just paging through them. Sounds like you had some good friends to help you through things, and a really good coach. Thanks for the advice. I should definitely find someone to train with now that I've moved to a new area. To tell the truth, just posting my problem here helped me to put things in much better perspective. I think my strategy will be to look back at the way I was thinking when things were going well, try to find the thoughts that tripped me up (nervous breakdown), discard them, and adapt the rest. This is going to take a lot of work but this is how I learn.

Thank you for the reply. Right, that's the idea. Okay, that's fine, I'll give you that, because it's true. But it sounds like you have a personality that is 180 degrees away from mine, if you can just think those things and then do them. That amazes me, and I respect it, but if I try to run my life on your advice, it won't work. I've tried it. That's what I call "brute-forcing". I'm really wanting to hear from anyone who has been in a situation similar to mine, and if they have any advice. I would like to know how other people with similar feelings got out of this situation. It's only a negative attitude if you're not doing anything to change it. Otherwise, it's a candid statement of your personal feelings at a given moment. I know I'll be fine, but I *would* like some help.

Hi, I'm new here. This seems like a pretty friendly board, so I'm hoping I can get some help with a problem that has been bugging me for a while: When I was in college (this was at least 4 years ago), I did Kung Fu for a little over two years. It put me in the best shape I've ever been in, and I don't think I've ever worked harder physically. I'm not sure what style it was, so I didn't fill out that part of the registration form, but I learned stuff like "chi blocks," "poisonhand," "eagle claw," "crane beak," "tiger claw," "cupped hand blasts," etc. Most of it was just really hard workouts, lots of boxing-type stuff, walking on our hands, max pushups and situps, trying to kick back as far as your own shoulder line, etc. We had no real uniforms, just those black baggy pants with the low crotch and tight elastic ankles, and our T-shirts and training shoes. We would always warm up by kicking a badminton birdie around the room for a while. Anyway, like I was saying, I really worked *hard.* The problem with this is, I was kind of surprised that I could get in that good of shape. I think I was pretty in awe of my accomplishments. I'm a very bad perfectionist, and I stopped training when I could no longer commit myself 100%. In fact, I went from Kung Fu training into psychotherapy, since I got in a car accident, had a close family member die, and had a nervous breakdown all in a two-month period. Then I got married, and had to focus on other things. Now that it's been a while, I'm frustrated that I am doing absolutely *nothing* with all that I learned during that period in college. I struggle to exercise more than twice a week for a few minutes. I have these fears, such as: I will never be able to get back in that good of shape, I will not find the time to get that sort of workout in, I will look silly doing Kung Fu workouts now that I'm out of shape (6'2", 245lbs), if I take 5 minutes out right now to work out, that's not worth doing, etc. A lot of it is just negative thought. Is there anybody else here who has felt like this? I really want to learn some "thought strategies" that will help me put things in proper perspective again. I know that for me, trying to "brute force" it just doesn't work. I want to go about this honestly so I can set myself up for long-term success. I would like to learn how to be positive about my future again. My sincere thanks in advance for any advice.