Sibylla

Yes there is a difference between asking the student to show how much control and "try to hit me". My bad. But as such I'm not really a fan of either because it can turn out to be a lose-lose situation for the student. Too much control (as in being afraid to get close to the instructor) the student gets scolded. If the student gets too close/hits the instructor they get scolded as well. I once graced the nose of a 7th dan with an iaito during such a display because first he scolded me for not trying, and when I really tried he couldn't get out of the way fast enough. Not cool.

Imo if an instructor asks an advanced student to go for it, you'd expect them to try. And some will really try, and not be "polite". You can't blame them.

I agree. Having to instruct as a student, and at times being instructed by other students, with no monitoring, help or control was a large contributing factor in me leaving a school that I was a member of for five years. What happened was that the instructors just didn't show up, or sent me a text message an hour or so before class. And then I had to lead three hours of class, ranging from beginners to advanced. I've lost a lot of interest when it comes to doing anything for any club/instructor and currently mainly train in a commercial operation, where the instructors are paid professionals and as such would lose that job if they don't do it.

It's always disappointing to come to the conclusion that things aren't what you'd expected, but personally I believe that there are many things of value in MA besides the often false claim of character development. Also consider the alternative, many of the people in MA that speak the most about character development, have none. They are in fact often pretty bad people, who use "character development" to justify dojo abuse, etc.

I think an instructor shouldn't "go there". I trained under an instructor who dated several female students and eventually married one. Despite being married he never related to female students in a "normal" neutral way. A dojo is not a pub. If someone just must date, I'd say make arrangement so that they don't train at the same place. The instructor must have a policy on how to handle such situations before he gets into them and make it clear to the female student he might be dating. He is the leader and the person with the upper hand.

There are several Japanese styles who have much lower age requirements..I've trained with a 7th dan myself who was 36 years old.. imo if you're going to have some sort of technical tests it's silly to have age requirements much above 40. In general I think it's silly with age requirements, if you are looking for a leader award the highest ranks to those who excel in that area.

Imo the way many train weights doesn't help MA training. Quite a few of the strong guys I've trained with are all upper body and often have problems with connecting with their legs, footwork and coordination suffers. The skinny guys or small girls often end up having a better learning curve, because it's not natural for them to try to power trough everything using upper body strength.

Who tends to be the most technical fighters, and have best stamina? It's usually the lightweights. I'd rather sacrifice some power for that than haul excessive weight around.

Is the hilt made of metal? Well the reason it rusts is that it's carbon. The construction of the hilt plays an integral part when it comes to safety, it's not only the pegs. I really think you should read up on construction of swords and perhaps join a dojo that does Japanese sword arts before you start swinging your sword.

You bought a sword but don't know what it is? Be careful. It may break or loosen from the tsuka (hilt) just by swinging it. If you want to know more about swords you have to read and research. All real swords (beside practice swords for iaido) are made of carbon steel. But the way the sword is made will differ. The quality will wary. One thing is certain though is that a quality Japanese sword isn't cheap. Last time I looked a modern made in steel, useful for cutting practice would at least come in on 10 000 usd.

I was saying what I said with well established schools in mind. Imo it's a particularily bad sign if the school has been active for many years and have very few high ranks. Then there is something going on that makes the school lose students.

There are a number of factors, but personally I would look at the senior students. - How good are they? (It's natural that there are some variations due to age etc, but if the majority is unfit and clumsy, bad sign) - How many are there (if the school has tons of beginners but very few advanced students - bad sign) - What sort of group are they? (In some places the group can be very homogenous, for instance all the same age, gender, beliefs..not a good sign) - How do they act towards you? (Look for how they answer questions. Expect them to answer questions in an upfront and non arrogant way.) The same thing goes for the instructor. He should be able to answer your questions in a good way, and not give off a clique or elite vibe. Lineage is of course important, but the most important is the training environment, since that is what makes or breaks you.

I hope to train tomorrow and I'll ask them then. Regarding the religion question, I've been introduced to a pattern/form that was named after a Catholic saint that depicted that saint going against the devil. I'm not religious in any way myself, and if anything just found it interesting. Just as the Japanese arts touches on their spiritual beliefs and you get an deeper insight in the basis of what you do. I hope/believe that there is no underlying religious reqruitment going on here.

For myself I choose Justice - D.A.N.C.E (just to cheer me up)

[quote name="GeoGiant Yeah' date=' we sorta moved away from the point of the thread. I couldn't think of any song that described a late 30's something male that was constantly hurting himself [/quote] Walk Like An Egyptian? (kidding..)

In the dojo mentioned above, with the hyper passive-aggressive head instructor, there was some violent sempai that kept beating on people. In other places I've trained people have been expelled for good for such actions. So imo there is a choice, how do you want to behave, and what do you want to be a part of...?

Agreed. Especially in adult years and in the workplace. These are the people who press and press always hoping you'll lash out at them so they can say, "I don't know what happened; he (or she) just flew off the handle at me, and all I was trying to do was show her how to do this or that." For instance, I know a woman at work who is a bully. She's also the most gregarious and social person on the unit. Everyone loves her. And yet, she talks about everyone who loves her behind their back. She plots and schemes, and she can be hugging someone and smiling with them one minute, and as soon as they leave the room turn to another and say, "Don't ever trust that person. They do this and this, and they've done it with everyone in the hosptial, and they...on and on." Yet she was just hugging them and smiling at them and pretending to be their best friend. And you can't talk bad about her because she's been there so long and is friends with all the managers. To say anything would mean it getting back to her, and her in turn trying to ruin you in the eyes of the supervisors and coworkers. I have been fortunate to see all this ahead of time and sidestep her for the most part. I also happen to be good at my job, get along well with others, and I have no problem working on nights with an old nurse who no one else wants to work with (I think she's fine once you take the time to get to know her.). So, I'm in like cement. But I can't help thinking it would be really good to see the downfall of this most evil type of workplace bully. But, truth be known, she's moved to another shift, the people she's attacked the most have moved on or away, and so it's not really my affair anymore--it never actually was. But I am fortunate to have seen it so I can understand it. Is there such a thing as mental martial arts? I trained with a (highly) passive-agressive head instructor for years. First I was confused but then due to what was happening again and again I came to a realization about what it was. And then a final realization about what I could do about it..nothing and get out of there. So I set a final leave date, and before that date I tried to get as many seminars and competions in as I could. I loved the art but I had a limit to as long I could continue to take what I was getting.

Daniel is a true passive-aggressive. And they can be bullies themselves, if not physically, by their other behavior.

I don't believe in such solutions. In a dojo setting students copy instructor behavior and if you do that, the students will "punish" lower ranked students as a result, and you have a horde of bullies on your hands.

Not sure that it's legal to ask about religion here either (Scandinavia). I think the form may have to do with the style being from the Phillipines, the cultural background, but still what happens if they don't like the answers? I'll keep you updated.

I think the best advice when it comes to bullies, is to not be around them. If the bullying involves kids, schools here only do so much (as in not enough). It's not easy to solve for parents either because it means that you as a parent asks the other family to deal with what causes their kid to be a bully. For adults that gets bullied in the workplace, dojo etc..don't engage or remove yourself from the situation. Imo bullying of adults is often a result of bad leadership, a culture that is allowed to grow. And that's not easy for one person to change. "Setting a bully straight" by some well chosen words or other action, is from what I've seen, more based on fantasy than reality. It's what Dilbert says "Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down and beat you with experience". My outlook may sound bleak but I think it's important to choose who we spend energy on. Give it to the good people.

I've been out from training for a while due to illness, and I got this in the email from the instructor. I'll ask when I return.

I even have to fill out religion and birthplace. I understand instructors want to know things about the student, but that takes place in a conversation.. I'm a bit at a loss now, I want to train there but if I fill out that form it gives me a sense of uncertainty.

I was recently asked to fill out an info form for one of the styles I train in. The form contained name, adress etc..but then they also wanted info on every other style I've trained in, how long, with who, rank attained, their adress etc. Plus they wanted a pic of me. I'm not sure if I like it..what do you think?

If you feel tired, maybe need a break. Despite how much we like what we do some times it can be too much and we need a mental rest. Personally I think that gradings should be predictable in their form, as in testing what the student has been training. The result should also be fairly easy to predict. If it isn't, the grading is about something else than your training. So if you feel good about where you are, but can't get that confirmation from your teacher before the grading, my take on the grading would be that it's out of your hands, you can and should try as hard as you can, but the end result is still uncertain. And if it's so, why get worked up about it?