shortyafter

It sounds like you and I are at a similar point in our respective journeys. So I'll share some of my own musings, to see if you can relate. Very often, rather than being a super tough martial artist, I actually feel like an aching old man that's always working around some niggling minor injury or other. In training, because it is hour upon hour, month after month of same training, you don't always notice the gradual improvement. Exactly like you don't always notice you're getting older until one day you realise your hair has stopped growing When I first went back to training (consider it starting again as it had been years since I'd last trained), the student that had to take time out due to exhaustion or faintness or a sprain was usually me. In fact it was pretty much always me. Then one, out of respect for the feelings of others, I kept eyes forward as someone else wobbled out of the hall with assistance to be cooled down and checked over by the first aiders. Then it happened other times. Then one day I realised the student that bails out first is no longer usually me. The training hadn't become particularly more intense. The students hadn't become less fit. The only remaining explanation is that I'd become more fit. By the same token, I suddenly realised that I don't seem to always have a pulled muscle somewhere, and I hardly ever fall over these days in kick drill. If I take a decent knock, I don't seem to hurt as much as I used to after just a light knock. In sparring, I used to burn out because of firing off a rapid volley of kicks and punches way before I was even in range. Now I find myself completely at ease and conserving my energy and applying just the right techniques at the right moment. Sure I still get walloped, but I suddenly fund that between fluid movement and increased resilience I can very often just absorb it without panicking (disclaimer, we only use light contact, about 50% force max). But then I see footage of real thugs fighting. Sometimes I see it for real. Less so now I'm getting older and don't go out to nightclubs anymore but still I see it occasionally. Look up footage of an untrained thug fighting. If ever you need reminding that people are just bald monkeys that have evolved into weaklings, just watch the average drunkard fight. Sure it's still dangerous and scary. But think about the speed and power and accuracy of your moves compared to the untrained thug. I still don't feel like a hard case. But if martial arts teaches us anything, surely it teaches us to see the truth. Mostly about ourselves. That truth is usually I guess that we're not some legendary warrior. The truth is we are just people. But the truth is also that we train a lot harder than many, and we endure a lot more. And we are everything we used to be, but with more added on. If we have to fight a drunken thug, there no guarantee we'd come off best. That's true whether you've got at least a year til black belt, or if you're 10th Dan in everything. But you know more about yourself and your own abilities than before. You know exactly how fast you can move, how much you can take, how well you move etc. Oh and if you're anything like me, then despite your best efforts, you may be still compare yourself against your peers. Except nowadays your peers are all martial artists. You're not comparing yourself to the untrained drunken idiot that wants to start a fight for no good reason. You're comparing yourself against people who have trained and fought with a clear mind and stone cold logic for years. Agree with RW. This was a good post. Made me feel good about my (sometimes slow) progress. Thank you.

Went in to training tonight tired and ready to just "get it over with". I guess it's a fine line between "Let it happen" and "yeah but you have to put it in the work". I was not happy with my spirit tonight but finally said - "why are you choosing to flounder? Just do the exercises correctly". Not saying I executed great, especially my kicks, but a switch flipped on and I felt like I was doing real karate again. Got out of my head and into my body. The teens meanwhile in the class were very lackluster. Instructor gave them a good stern talking to. Honestly I think he had had a bad day. I know that when an instructor is angry it doesn't automatically mean he had a bad day, but I think today that was indeed the case. Beyond that the teens needed a good talking to, anyway. The energy isn't there and a lot of times isn't. I felt good because I knew he wasn't calling me out tonight. I knew I had performed well. Not perfect, not amazing, but I gave it my all. So I walked away feeling proud. But I also felt bad for my instructor, and I wasn't sure what to do besides be there to listen to him vent. That, plus knowing that I'm doing my best, are the kinds of things that make me feel really good on a deep level. I posted awhile back about how my old Kyokushin school kind of kept me in the dark about a trip they were taking to Japan. They finally let me know but by that time I had already decided it wasn't going to be worth my time/money. Well today they went. And you know what? I'm glad I didn't go, at least not with them. I'm happy with the way my karate, and life, are playing out. Thank you folks for playing a part. Thank you again for your wise advice and encouragement, MatsuShinshii. Osu.

I didn't realize I came off so harshly. I apologize. I can tend to be matter of fact and fairly outspoken. It sounds like you took the advice in the spirit is was intended though. Nothing wrong with being a perfectionist. However you must also be a realist. No "master" of any art or trade got there over night. Keep your goals high but keep your feet on the ground. You'll get there. In time all things are possible. Keep training. To be honest I'm not sure if it was you or maybe just the way I took it. No worries. I really do appreciate the advice and it has been positive for me. Jazzkicker - Disagree that self-evaluation is a problem for me. It's really something I can't help, and I do my best to use it constructively and to enjoy it. I think it is one of my biggest advantages in karate. It gives me the ability to realize when something feels "off" and when something feels like "a-ha! This is karate!" The latter have been the moments that make the whole journey worth it. That said, totally agree that I am too hard on myself. That's something that with time I hope to be able to let go. Thanks.

MatsuShinshii - I did a lot of reflecting on what you said to me. In a way it stung but that's my ego speaking, and that has no place in my MA journey or in my journey to live a fulfilling life. I think you really nailed it. I have a tendency to get so caught up in little, unimportant, and unrealistic details that I totally forget the big picture. I was a kid who got picked last for dodgeball, and I really carried that wound around with me for a long time. The whole reason I got into karate in the first place was to show myself that I could do it - with a bit of heart, patience, and effort. The fact that I am consistently succeeding, not always, but consistently, in the dojo, is really an amazing thing. That's what I should be focused on, not the little minute details and imperfections. IMHO learning to focus on the big picture instead of nit-picking and being perfectionistic is an integral part of my karate training. Thank you again for the post. It opened up my eyes quite a bit. Also thanks to sensei8 for his encouragement. Sometimes I need the honest truth, and sometimes I just need someone in my corner cheering me on. Thank you both.

Thank you MatsuShinshii. I will take you experience to heart. Osu

MatsuShinshii - Yes, you caught me in a bit of a dark place with that one. But it's a place that has a tendency to come up with me. Although, nowadays less and less. As you said, I am only human. I think you are on to something when you say to give myself a break. This is advice I keep getting from good friends. To relax and not work so tense is advice I have consisently gotten from my instructors. And finally you all on these forums have kept reminding me that it's a journey, not a race. I see what you mean about things coming together. I too have thought that the strength to get up 8 times after falling 7 is, in some ways, the most important strength of all. And also, when I'm in a good space of head and spirit, all those little things I worried about just seem so unimportant. Because they are. I understand you there. Thank you for your honest input and for the encouragement.

Hi sensei8! I remember you mentioned Shu Ha Ri. That makes a lot of sense to me. Shugyo, I like it. And as for 7 times down, 8 times up... my body doesn't always do what I want it to, and definitely not always on command... my mind and heart are human and often stray. But I know that all I have to do is keep pushing forward, even if it feels like a mere inch at a time. 7 times down, 8 times up. It's what I always do, and ultimately only I can choose to get up off the floor. Nobody can make that choice for me. But I will say, it certainly helps to have good people there to encourage me. Thank you, sensei8.

Been working on that yoko-geri at home. After a bad training the other night I thought "OMG I'm completely off track and I have to start all over again and this is gonna take so much work and maybe I can't do it!" Which was all crap and luckily I saw through it. Tonight we did a bit of yoko-geri. Kihon training felt good. Then we did a bit in pairs to actually fire the kicks on a partner. My left was poor but I fired a right-legged yoko-geri kekome and my teacher said "ah yeah, that's a nice, powerful kick!" So there it is folks. Still gotta work on it but I can do it and I will do it.

What an up and down journey this is. I had a really bad couple of days, followed by a good week, and all in the context of me generally feeling good about karate. Tonight's class was very disheartening. Somehow I ended up being the only one in class which sucks for some reasons but it's cool because I got 1 on 1 with my teacher. We looked at some basics for my exam and I felt that went decently well. Then we looked at the yoko-geri which was very disheartening. I posted in here awhile back that I had finally gotten it but it looks like I wasn't quite right. We spent about 20-30 minutes looking at the kick and doing various stretches to try to get me to do it correctly. My instructor thinks it's a flexibility issue. I'm not immediately ruling that out but I honestly think it's because I haven't gotten the knack of it yet. Like, I see him do it and it makes sense. But then I do it and I can't replicate it. I just don't know what it's supposed to feel like! Another thing making me think it's not flexibility is because at one point he said I did execute it correctly when I posted a few months back. Which makes me think I can do it, it's just a matter of figuring out the way to do it consistently. Disheartening because all these thoughts race into my head of "I can't do it, I'll never be able to do it, I'm no good"... Yeah. I know it's non-sense but that's the kind of stuff that comes up for me. The good news? Beneath all that negative mind chatter I'm confident that with patience and perseverance I can do this. A bit down folks, but certainly not out. Osu.

I was having a rough time with karate and just about everything last time I posted here. But I came to a realization and since then things have been going great. I was very happy with my karate on Wednesday and on Friday. It looked and felt strong. I wasn't just nit picking little things... somehow I was grasping the major concepts and it was all starting to come together for me like it never had before. When we do bunkai I was always so focused on doing it "correctly". And of course, that is a must. But today I was mostly focused on doing something that would actually work, using all the knowledge my teacher and other people have given me. The difference was night and day. It's like it all came together magically. I was speaking to my teacher about some of the spiritual concepts of karate I had been learning about and examining. He definitely has heart in his karate, and emphasizes that, but it doesn't go much beyond that for him. For me, as I said above, it is a way of life. And you know what I realized as I spoke to him this evening after class? My way is just as good as his way. In fact, I even have things I think I could offer to him. My first teacher told me outperforming your Senpais is also a form of budo karate. And I agree. I'm not saying I'm better than my teacher at karate, by any means. I'm not saying I don't need him to guide me along, because I do and he's a great teacher. I'm not saying I don't respect him. Because I do, a lot. I'm just saying, I'm learning to trust my karate journey. After all, the name of this thread is one guy's karate journey, not two or three or any of the rest of the world. Thanks folks for being here.

Karate for me is a sort of way of life. This way of life was something I had already begun practicing before getting into karate, and karate was sort of the natural result of applying that attitude in all of my affairs. I've been changing a lot recently, for the better, and I have my attitude and also my karate to thank for this growth. Today, however, was a difficult day and I was not totally happy with the way I "performed" at work today. Without going into specifics, I'm not exactly talking about how productive I was but rather my relationship with myself and with my workmates/students. Before work, I was already feeling a bit discouraged. If you scroll back to the last page, you'll see I posted a bit about an anecdote from Funakoshi's "Karate Do: My Way of Life". He tells the tale of a karate practitioner that realized that what we normally conceive of as life is nothing more than vanity - we are just clumps of matter, just mere blades of grass, in this vastness that is the universe. Weakness is inherent, inevitable. Well, that is how I'm feeling today. Weak and discouraged. But, now with the help of a close friend, I've come again to the same realization as the practitioner in the anecdote - that this weakness is nothing to be ashamed of, for it is the very nature of life itself. It is impossible for me to expect that I be the best at work, or at karate. In fact, it may even be unreasonable for me to expect that I be good at karate/life, at least not every single day. And definitely not as good as any of the masters. I am simply a layman, a beginner, a guy who practices barely 3 times a week. And even if I wracked up my training a lot, I would still run into the limitations of being a human being. So it's not necessarily about adjusting my performance or anything like that. Because that's not always within my control. But what is within in my control, always, is my attitude towards my circumstances, towards my journey, towards my weakness. My attitude is something that I can always chose. And just like the practitioner in Funakoshi's anecdote, from that realization comes the ultimate strength, the strength that is beyond life and death itself. Sometimes I really doubt my technique, both in karate and in life, and I have real doubts about if I will ever make it. But all I know how to do is to keep moving forward, and to trust that, life will indeed guide me where I need to go. Alas, I have already been given so much. And for that I am grateful. Thank you to all of you. Osu!

Yes, thanks for chiming in! Your thread was a bit of an inspiration for me to make my own. Good luck to you.

This. Also, even something seemingly unrelated like running laps around the Dojo can help with self-defense if taught correctly and with the right mindset... because self-defense is also a mental and spiritual question. The benefit of karate versus street fighting or whatever is karate emphasizes mental clarity and spiritual toughness... I think people tend to forget this. Not to mention, in the case of running laps around the Dojo, that also teaches you to just book it out of there if you're facing a bigger guy. I adhere to the teaching that I'm not learning karate to fight, I'm learning karate so that I don't have to.

It's Spring Break here and my parents have come to visit me. We did a bit of tourism in the big city here. There was class one day this week but because we were out of town I missed it. I was happy, however, because I found cool little ways to do my karate... stretching in the morning, kihon at night, some pushups before bed. It felt good, like karate was supposed to feel I think. Today I had some time at home to do about 30 minutes of kihon, kata and stretching. It also felt good. I feel good about my karate. Thank you folks for listening to me and supporting me.

As I said the other day, I had a great class on Friday. Today my instructor was telling some teen students when they would be examining for their next belt. A couple of blue belts that earned it last December. Well, they will be taking their exam next December for brown or blue/brown. I said to myself, I feel like I will be prepared for my blue belt by then as well. Well, another lower rank student will be taking his exam in June. Then my instructor turned to me and said, you will have your exam in December. Which felt good. Because my gut feeling aligned with what my instructor's telling me. I was reading over the recent post about "what does your black belt mean to you?" Good post with lots of interesting stuff. Well, obviously I can't answer that question but I can answer what the pursuit of black belt means for me. For me it's about showing myself that yes, with hard-work, effort and patience I can achieve it, and achieve anything. Especially for me as a kid who got made fun of for being chubby and unathletic when I was in school. Showing myself that I'm just as capable as anybody else, physically, mentally and spiritually, is a big deal for me. I know the belt doesn't necessarily indicate that, and progress is something that happens independently of the belt. But there's just something about having that visual reference that gives me confidence, strength and hope. However, I'm not in a hurry to get my black belt. Yes, I will do my best to work towards it. But for me it's about earning it the right way, because like I said, that's what really counts. I'm also fortunate enough to train with a very good instructor, and I know he won't rush me through the belts unless I've truly earned them. So I'm feeling good about my karate, and I'm looking forward to improving every day, but also to having that tangible milestone for next December. Thanks folks. Edit - PS, I'm a teacher, and advancing through the karate ranks is a good way for me to say to myself and to others - "If I can do it, anyone can". Yes, it was. And I agree about Funakoshi. Thank you.

Since sort of cutting ties with my Kyokusnin school I've been a bit confused about what karate means to me. Well, today I arrived early to class and I was alone in the waiting room. I was reading Funakoshi's 20 precepts. There are many that stuck out to me, more than they have in the past, but one I really liked was "you can use the forces of nature in your karate" or something along those lines. Think of the rivers, think of the mountains, and act like them. I was already feeling a lot of clarity from the week, because I had been reading part of Funakoshi's "Karate-do: My Way of Life". He talked about how a guy was able to defeat an opponent first with his gaze and then with a simple ki-ai. Why? Because he realized, in a sense, it didn't really matter. He was nothing more than a blade of grass, in this infinite universe of ours, and he was completely ready to die. So he was calm, and still, and that stillness utterly petrified his opponent. Tonight my instructor was using me, as he often does, because he knows I'm tough, as a model for the rest of the class. We were practicing kumite techniques. He was really going at me hard. But I thought of the nature precept, and thought - "what does a mountain have to fear?" I was the mountain. And I took his blows with no fear. He was hitting me hard in the stomach, for sure. But as I watched him attack me, with that stillness of mind and heart, it looked as if he was a mere dwarf of something. The whole thing was almost laughable. Mind you, I absolutely respect this man and his karate and he is a great instructor. But I really felt that nothing could touch "the mountain". I was simply a blade of glass in this infinite universe of ours, and I had (and have) nothing to fear. My technique has a long way to go, as does my spirit. But I understand Funakoshi when he says - "spirit comes first". This is true strength, and I have karate, my instructors, and the universe to thank for my progress. I also want to thank all of you guys for being here for me, listening to me, and supporting me. Thank you.

That's interesting. We did a lot more Taikyoku in my Kyokushin dojo than we ever have done with my Shotokan instructor. The Heian katas do seem to be the meat and potatoes, at least for beginners, at my Shotokan school. Not really sure why, either.

Hi JR. That's a great point, and one I had indeed thought about. I too heard that the Heian/Taikyoku katas were added later as a sort of beginner's thing to get new students into the groove. Spending a year on Heian Shodan is probably a bit extreme. That said, I do think the idea of moving slowly and perfecting the basics is a good one. That's what I'm trying to get at here. Thank you.

Hi there sensei8. I was taught the Taikyoku series first, but we rarely if ever actually practice Nidan or Sandan. They were basically presented to me as slight modifications of Shodan, which is exactly what they are. Usually in class we start work with the Heian series and go from there, but it wouldn't be odd for us to train Taikyoku Shodan every now and then. I think it would be easy to say that "Heian Shodan and Taikyoku Shodan are basically the same kata", which is what you said would be perhaps a layperson's perspective. The reason I feel than Heian Shodan is more advanced is obviously because there's more to it. The upper blocks I have quite a good handle on. But I would be lieing if I said my shuto and back stance, as well as rotating in back stance, felt natural to me. I need to work on those few pointers. Once I have those more or less "mastered", they also appear in Heian Nidan, plus a slew of new things for me to work on. I've heard people say the Japanese would traditionally spend months or even years on one kata. I can see why - and I can see the natural progression of Taikyoku 1-3 -> Heian 1-5. For me rote memorization is not enough, I want to be sure I am executing these kata correctly. And to make sure of that I have to start with my base, first. I wasn't aware that there was another way of teaching it. Thanks for the input.

Was raining tonight so I stayed home and trained here. Tonight was kata night so that's what I did here. My focus? Taikyoku Shodan, and time allowing, Heian Shodan. Why? The other day one of the teens asked my instructor which kata was the most advanced. He responded Kanku Dai or something like that, I don't totally remember which. But in my head I was thinking - "Taikyoku Shodan!" I didn't say anything because I didn't want to look cheeky or sarcastic. But I don't think any of these kids are anywhere near the point of thinking about Kanku Dai. At least in my case I know I really need to focus on the basics. So that's what I did. I watched some videos online and got some clarification about the footwork on the turns. In Kyokushin it was explained pretty clearly to me but Shotokan not quite. I also got good advice here on these forums - don't nitpick too much about exact foot placement, everyone is different. And that's also what I saw in the various videos. But I did sort of figure it out and now my turns are much snappier and cleaner. Nice. Punches also are snappier - waiting til the point of impact to fully rotate the fist makes a big difference. Next was Heian Shodan which looked pretty good, except for that last bit with back stance. I will need to work on that. Which is why I suppose we start with Taikyoku 1 then move up from there! My instructor told me the other day something cool - he said, a lot of these students just don't put their heart in it! And, it's very rare that he says anything along those lines, about the "metaphysical" aspect of karate. His technique is really good, and he is the 4th dan, not me. But I'm the type of person who could talk for days about the metaphysical stuff. Maybe it's a good pairing, then. But I mean - it was a simple line - "put your heart in it" - but coming from an instructor who doesn't tend to use that type of language, it actually meant a lot. And that's what I feel like I did tonight. I was less focused on doing everything perfect. Instead I focused on, doing everything with grace. It's not really something I can put into words but I think grace is a good word for it. The "art" side of "martial arts", if you will. And my kata looked and felt really, really good. I'm on to something here. I am happy with my karate and doing my best to enjoy it. Thanks folks.

Been a little bit since my last update. I came down with a sorta bad cold, and then another even worse one or just a rebound of the first. Not sure. I've been keeping up with stretching and as much karate as I could, but I have had to miss 2 classes already. Add that to one I missed in January for a flight delay and I'm missing a lot more class than I like to. I don't have a car and my karate class is about 10 minutes by bike. Tonight was raining pretty decently. I thought about making an effort to go, but then I thought, no. On Mondays I have to show up late anyway so basically it would be 30~ minutes of class for 20 minutes of getting drenched both ways. I bagged it. Instead I came straight home from work and did my karate at home. Some good stretching, some kihon and even followed along on a JKA video just to keep up with some pointers. They're calling for rain all week which sucks, and I already hate missing so much class. But I'm learning a new way, I think. I believe my persistence is admirable, very much so, but I'm learning that perhaps it was a bit misguided. More and more effort is not necessarily the solution. Torturing myself is not necessarily the solution. You all here have done a great job of pointing this out to me - it's not a race. I am starting to take that to heart. Funnily enough, I was happy with my kihon tonight and it was nice to get a solid review of the basics in. Maybe I'm on to something here. Thanks folks.

bushido_man96 - That's a good point. Thanks. Sensei8 - Also a good point. You're right, this is my journey. And I have to do what's best for me. My instructor offers me the tools, but only I truly know what I want and need at any given moment. Thanks.

JR, thanks much for your thoughtful post. That's a good point about exercise... I felt like I could just power through but because my health only seems to be getting worse I think I may have been mistaken. I just went for a very relaxed walk just to get out of the house a bit, and now I'm going to do some very relaxed stretching just to keep the flexibility going. As for life obligations... that is so true also. For me karate is about living a healthier and happier life... so as soon as karate starts getting in the way of that, I should know that I'm doing it wrong. Whether that be because of family obligations, health obligations, or just taking time to go do something fun every once in a blue moon. Finally - "it's not a race". I needed to hear that. Thanks, mate.

I will pose this question to my karate friends: When is it OK to miss class? I'm not really sure if that's my question, to be honest, but I'm really having a hard time "stopping" in general. Not this Tuesday but the previous one, I came down with a semi-bad cold, but since I'm young and healthy I was able to power through all my obligations (work, exercise, healthy eating, etc.) I only missed 1 night of karate, because I have to go to class on my bike in the cold weather, and figured the better option was to stay home and stretch and do kata at my house. We had a 4 day weekend, where I also didn't really take time to rest, and I thought I was better but come this Tuesday my throat starts killing me. Since then I've been getting progressively worse with minor fluctuations. I texted my instructor this morning to let him know he shouldn't expect me in class today. Honestly, it was hard for me, because I hate missing class. One of the things I'm proudest of is my persistence - I have near perfect attendance and it's because I know the value of persistence. I don't stay home because "I don't feel like it today". But these last 2 months I've already missed 3 classes (one because I missed a flight, and 2 now because of being sick). Let me be clear, I'm not puking up or anything. I could definitely make the effort and go. But I feel like, part of the reason I haven't cured completely is because I'm pushing myself too hard. In all areas, including my karate. It all goes back to respecting the process, I think. What do you think folks? Should I feel guilty? My heart tells me that, of course not, but my mind seems to think that if I miss class it means I'm going to fall behind and my karate is going to fall apart! So please, give me your honest feedback and thoughts. Thank you.

Age uke I'm not so sure about, but like the answers others have given. As for Gedan barai, I definitely see use for it against kicks and possibly punches too, depending on the scenario.