Catmom

The reason I left the school, and the reason I gave, is because I just plain ran out of money. I haven't worked for almost eight months, and I ran out of savings and unemployment benefits, and everything that wasn't a strict necessity (like mortgage, electricity, food) had to go. But when (I'll be hopeful here and say "when") my circumstances get better, before going back or even making the decision whether or not to go back, I want to have a serious heart to heart with the guy. At that point, he's not my sensei, and I'm not his student. I'm a nonstudent trying to figure out whether to join the school. You're not ever supposed to ask about tests, belts, or your next rank, but I won't have anything to lose. I won't be a student then, and worse comes to worst, I won't become a student. But I want to know why I never progressed to my next rank (after YEARS), what was holding me back, and what I have to do to move forward. And I'm not going to accept the "it's not about the belts; belts are meaningless; blah blah blah." If the belts meant nothing, we wouldn't hand them out. It's like coming home on Halloween with an empty bag and being told "it's not about the candy; it's about the fun of Halloween." Yeah, then why do all the other kids have candy, and I don't? I'm also looking into a couple other things. I suspect the weight and fatigue might be a thyroid and adrenal problem, and I want to get that checked out. Also, I want to look into rejoining the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism) and getting back into archery and medieval fighting. I'm really a gentle, nonviolent person, but I guess fighting's just in my blood.

It really broke my heart to leave this school. I liked the school. I liked the Sensei. But it was getting plain embarrassing. I always had to dumb down the techniques I was using because I was only working with white belts. I'd watch Sensei demonstrating advanced techniques to the higher ranks, but I wouldn't be included, and I wouldn't learn them because I was with the white and yellow belts working on basic techniques over and over. My assumption is that he felt that I didn't deserve my rank and that I shouldn't be allowed to work with students that were 2-3 ranks below me because I wasn't as good as them. I felt humiliated, like I was the class joke. I spent several thousand dollars to stay at the same rank. I'd think that if you had a student who was trying to improve, kept asking how to improve, yet stayed at the same rank for YEARS, you owed that student the truth. If I really sucked that bad and could never become a martial artist, tell me so I can stop wasting my money going nowhere. Unless you don't want to lose the tuition money. And if that's the case, that's flat out wrong. And if you have a student who wants to improve, tell them how. Tell them where they're lacking and how specifically to improve it. I wanted to have a game plan. I wanted to know what to do. I didn't want to coast and just guess what I was doing wrong. I kept thinking that it was my fault, that I was doing something wrong, that I was making some kind of martial art faux pas that no one was going to tell me about, that I had to figure out on my own. But now that I've been away from the school for a month, I find myself getting angry. I have to admit this has left a bad taste in my mouth about martial arts. Yes, I wanted the black belt. This was an expensive school, and I went in with the expectation that I would be trained to eventually qualify for the black belt -- and beyond. I expected to be doing this for the rest of my life. And I resented being told "belts don't matter; belts are meaningless." If that's so, why do the other students get them, and I don't? It doesn't make sense, and once again I'm left feeling that I must be a joke, and everyone knew but me.

Has anyone had problems with hypothyroid or adrenal fatigue? Have you tried alternative treatments (acupuncture, acupressure, chiropracty, supplements, etc.)? What worked?

Is this a self-defense situation or sparring? If it's self-defense, I'd say knife hand block with your left hand, grab his punching arm to control it, then Immortal Man or spearhand strike into his throat with your right hand, or chicken wrist up to strike his chin and then tiger rake down his face. A leopard's paw into his throat would work as well. I haven't done a lot of grappling, but in a sparring situation, I might try a knife hand block and grab as before, then pull his right arm toward you as you palm strike his left shoulder with your right hand. This push-pull movement plus your own momentum might be able to push him onto his back so you'd bascially change places. But as I said, I'm not much of a grappler.

The way I see it, wearing something with the dojo logo is free advertising for the school. I've had people see my shirt and come up to me and talk to me about it and want to know what school I'm with and what it's like. Generally, though I wear my tee shirt and gi pants only on class days. I do have some MA tees that aren't dojo related. For the most part they're subtle, and I wear them because I like the design or the saying on them. I've never been challenged when I'm wearing any kind of karate gear, but then, I would probably remind any challenger of their mom, and they might assume that it was my kid taking karate classes instead of me. In short, nothing wrong with it, IMO, unless you're strutting around bragging about what a great fighter you are because you take karate.

I'm an overweight, middle-aged woman, and I've been practicing martial arts for several years. Pardon me for jumping into this without waiting and letting people get to know me first. I hope this isn't a social faux pas. The weight I think is mainly a thyroid/adrenal problem, which needs to be addressed, but that's not my question. I loved my school, and I had a lot of fun. I was obviously not too old or in too bad a shape to exercise. I did well at first and advanced through the belts at a reasonable pace, considering my age and level of physical fitness. Then I plateaued, or rather, my progress did. Everything ground to a dead stop. I didn't feel that I was doing that poorly. I saw where there was improvement. And I knew everything I needed to for my next rank. But I was never asked to test. I reached green belt and stalled out. People who came in as white belts when I was a green belt now outrank me, and I'm still a green belt. You're not supposed to ask about or talk about your next test, although this rule is often broken. I would ask Sensei why I wasn't advancing, what I was doing wrong, how I could improve, and I'd basically be told that belts aren't important. 1. That wasn't my issue. I can buy a black belt on ebay if I want one that bad. But it was obvious that I wasn't progressing. That says to me that there's a problem there. Makes sense to me to find out what the problem is so I can address it, resolve it, and then move on in my martial arts practice. And I can't help but wonder that if you have a student who studies diligently, is gradually improving, but is constantly held back, that it may be a problem with the teaching. I'm supposed to be training as a martial artist yet apparently I'm not actually being taught what I need to know to advance to my next rank. I'm left to flounder around guessing and worrying about what it is I'm doing wrong, or not doing right. Am I too old? Too fat? Is it because I'm female? Have I done some faux pas that I was never told about, and now I will never be allowed to test? Is it simply personal dislike on the part of the instructors? Do I just so totally suck at this that I'm a laughing stock, and it's obvious to everyone (but me) that I'll never be a real martial artist? Another problem that I noticed is that when we train, we pair up basically by rank, higher belts with higher, lower belts with lower. That makes sense. I would expect to pair with someone who's blue to brown belt, roughly the same rank. But Sensei would switch me around and have me train with a white belt or yellow belt. There would be a group of higher ranks on one side of the dojo, and a group of lower belts -- and me -- on the other side. Higher ranks would be practicing roundhouse kicks, spinning back kicks, triple combinations, and take downs, and I would be practicing my front ball kicks over and over and over. So I wouldn't really be able to improve my techniques or learn anything new because it wouldn't be taught to me. 2. That's not even true. The belts themselves are bits of cloth. They themselves don't matter. It's what they symbolize that matters. They're the measure of progress that we use in this school. They're given out so students know where they stand in their study of martial arts, how they're doing, and what they need to practice next. They are meaningful and useful in that way. The fact that I haven't tested in several years means something, obviously, but no one's telling me what. I had to quit the dojo because I lost my job, and I'm seriously wondering if I should go back, or if I should quit martial arts forever. If I'm simply too fat, too old, or just too plain dorky to be a martial artist, perhaps I should take up scrapbooking or find a senior walking club instead. I loved it. It was fun. But it became steadily more heartbreaking as time went on. Please don't yell at me. And I apologize if I've broken any rules or commited any faux pas. This is an issue that bothers me, obviously, and I'd like to figure out how to resolve it and move on. If I were yelling and complaining about my next test two months into a new rank, that's one thing. But after several years of no testing and no guidance about it, don't I deserve to know what I'm doing wrong?

I have to wonder if I'm too old for this, and I'm twice your age. I think I probably am. But 23? Btw, I was born in Rockford, Illinois. Hello!